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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine Grace View Post
    Staring down the barrel of another child now though, I do think it would have been difficult to have an easier child first and then my DS, would have been a huge shock!
    I had a super easy baby and toddler first, then got an absolute whirlwind for my second. I often joke that I was given the easy one first so I would go back for another, because my second would definitely make people question how many kids they want 😀

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  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by nh2489 View Post
    Would never have considered having a second so soon had this monster been our first baby.
    This is why we didn't start TTC #2 until DD was 3.5yo! To this day my eldest is still more work than my "baby" (turns 3 in June) and always has been.

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  5. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    I'm a go with the flow person, and I would answer a definite NO to all those questions.
    Go with the flow is just easier! So much less stressful, less hard work. And no expectations I think is the big one. If I don't expect that my baby will sleep in it's cot at 10:30am, then I don't have anything to get stressed about when it all goes pearshaped because baby is unsettled for whatever reason.
    Great points.
    It would be great if topics like this were covered in ante natal classes. IMO current classes do a really crap job at preparing people for parenthood .

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  7. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine Grace View Post
    Staring down the barrel of another child now though, I do think it would have been difficult to have an easier child first and then my DS, would have been a huge shock!
    Yes this is true for me too. The only reason I survived DS1 is because having no prior experience of babies whatsoever, I had no idea it wasn't normal for a baby to sleep 3 hours a night and scream hysterically for atleast 12 hours a day.

    Plus if I swapped my first and second child around, I would have had DD having her mega meltdown tantrums by then, as well as a hysterical newborn with sensory issues. Would have been truly awful...

  8. #35
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    Default 2 year gap between kids - VP and I playing nice

    Quote Originally Posted by atomicmama View Post
    I had a super easy baby and toddler first, then got an absolute whirlwind for my second. I often joke that I was given the easy one first so I would go back for another, because my second would definitely make people question how many kids they want 😀
    Hehe that would have been hard! I think if I'd had a quieter one first it would have been harder. The kids at mums group, especially the girls just used to sit there and play quietly with toys or eat their snacks while my kid who could barely walk was stacking up books to try and escape or trying to get out the door every time someone came in. If I'd had one of those kids first then my DS, it'd be a shock to the system.

    If our next is another tornado I'll def have to stop at 2. Or wait 5 years.
    Last edited by Clementine Grace; 08-04-2016 at 08:39.

  9. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine Grace View Post
    Interesting thread, following as I'm expecting no. 2 soon and there will be a 3 year gap.

    I'm dreading outside excursions with 2! There is absolutely no way I could feed a newborn when out, and watch my toddler, at the park/shops/library/cafe, he needs me to watch him like a hawk. He bolts (towards roads), climbs to the top of things at the park and tries to jump off, can't sit still at the library unless he's got my full attention so I've no idea how I'm going to manage that!

    Dinner prep for next day is a good idea, I do that now and I have to start dinner earlier otherwise it gets crazy in the afternoon.

    I think the transition from 1 to 2 will def depend on your child. My DS fed 1-3 hourly for the first few months around the clock, there wasn't really "going to bed" so that's going to be interesting this time, I'm sure I'll don my sleep deprived Mombie persona again.

    Subbing for any good tips!
    I have three years between mine anf what I found helped was setting up stuff for her to do at home, sticker books and playdoh that I could help while i breastfed. I did lots of breastfeeding on the floor surrounded by pillows

    For outings I chose gated places. I'm in Canberra so we went to questacon mini q, those play centres, playground near lake.

    I also kept DD in daycare which obviously helped a lot. We dont have family support, so thats the only break I got.

    I also found DD hit a switch around 3 and was more capable of playing independently. Slightly anyhow. Good luck!

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    I found 2 under 2 busy, but not difficult. No. 1 was a nightmare of a 2 year old, and I think if we had had a 2 year gap the wheels would have fallen off big time, especially when no. 2 would scream unless on me for the first 10 weeks. But, by the time the terrible twos were in full house baby no. 2 had a bit nore of a natural pattern going on, and was happy enough to play on the floor independently while I dealt with the difficult two year old.
    2 under 2 worked for us, despite neither child being particularly easy. However, less than a 2 year gap is sooooo common in my family, in fact half of my relatives have a 13 month age gap between siblings so small age gaps are the norm for us. Growing up, small age gaps were always talked about as 'the way to go' and I agree.
    For me personally, 1-2 was the easiest transition. I enjoyed being a mum to two so much more than being a mum to one, even though I had less time for me and life was I busier.
    I am a go with the flow person to an extent, I hate rigid structure. So I was probably less concerned than someone who hates having to deviate from their original plans.

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  12. #38
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    I think people might be confusing busy with difficult. Yes 2 under 2 or 2yr gap is busy. Very very busy with limited sleep and almost no alone time. But it was rarely difficult.

    Once you get into a good daily rhythm it's just gets so easy. Now when I grocery shop with 3 I wonder how I ever thought shopping with 1 or 2 hard.

    Even now with 3 kids- 6mths, almost 4&6yo, it's busy BUT not hard once past the initial 6-8wks.

    Does that make sense?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    I think people might be confusing busy with difficult. Yes 2 under 2 or 2yr gap is busy. Very very busy with limited sleep and almost no alone time. But it was rarely difficult.

    Once you get into a good daily rhythm it's just gets so easy. Now when I grocery shop with 3 I wonder how I ever thought shopping with 1 or 2 hard.

    Even now with 3 kids- 6mths, almost 4&6yo, it's busy BUT not hard once past the initial 6-8wks.

    Does that make sense?
    I think too it's easy to apply your own individual situation to everyone. I,like you, find 3 kids easy. Always busy busy, but easy. But that first year, with my 2nd baby who was quite sick, vomiting, pooing and screaming all day long - it was very very very difficult. Anyone who has experienced severe reflux, sick babies, babies who scream all day long & wont settle, food allergies & upset tummies, & probably many other types of hardships I can't think of - understands the difficulty of it. It can be hard to understand if you haven't walked it. If I only ever had my first & third babies, I wouldn't understand what it's like having a baby like my second. That's one good thing that came out of my hardship - the ability to understand other mums when they are having a hard time. It helps me to be able to give empathy and support. Places like BH, & supportive mums, kept me sane at times when I was ready to give up.

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  15. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    I think people might be confusing busy with difficult. Yes 2 under 2 or 2yr gap is busy. Very very busy with limited sleep and almost no alone time. But it was rarely difficult.

    Once you get into a good daily rhythm it's just gets so easy. Now when I grocery shop with 3 I wonder how I ever thought shopping with 1 or 2 hard.

    Even now with 3 kids- 6mths, almost 4&6yo, it's busy BUT not hard once past the initial 6-8wks.

    Does that make sense?
    It makes sense, but it's a bit simplistic, too. Eg. Transitioning from 1-2 was so easy for me...a lot busier, but really loved it. The dynamics worked. Then the transition from 2-3 (with them all being under 4) did not worry me at all. It was going to be busy, but I wasn't worried about coping...only that third baby changed the whole family dynamics and it took me a long time to adjust. Essentially, parenting my 3rd baby was easy in the sense that I was confident to get out of the house, and life resumed back to normal so fast...full grocery shop with all three kids on my own at less than one week of age (whereas with my first it took me 6 weeks to even attempt it, and the first time was terrifying), but it was the change in dynamics of the family that hit us hard and it took us a looonnngggg time to adjust to. From 1-2, it just fell in to place, couldn't remember what it felt like to only have one child. But it took months and months to get to that place with no. 3. We were more confident in our parenting and juggling abilities, but it was just hard work. I am sure if baby no. 3 had been a cruisy baby, and if we had a bigger age gap, our transition from 2-3 would have been so different. It's so individual and so variant depending on age gaps, and personalities of both children and parents.

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