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  1. #1
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    Default 2 year gap between kids - VP and I playing nice

    Not wanting to derail another thread.

    I had a 22mth gap between my two older kids. I didn't find it that hard other than dd2 needing hospitalisation for 2wks in PICU for bronchiolitis. Dh went back to his normal shift work when dd2 was two weeks old.

    What worked for me.
    Every morning I went for a walk with both kids. Packed the pram with snacks/sometimes breakfast/lunch. We walked to a park/shops/playgroup/library. Dd1 would play, I'd boob dd2 or she would sleep in pram. We would eat our packed food. Head home for naps in my bed. Then whilst dd1 would potter outside in the yard I'd prep dinner for the NEXT day to put in slow cooker overnight. Clean kitchen/tidy up/bring in washing

    Bedtime - I'd bath both kids together. Dress and feed newbie in bathroom whilst minding older child. Then dry/dress toddler. Read both children books whilst feeding baby. Sit with toddler to put to sleep whilst cluster feeding newbie.

    Once both asleep or once toddler asleep (baby in carrier) - pack food for next day, do other jobs. Then go to bed.

    Repeat next day.

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  3. #2
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    Gosh you make it sound like a breeze! I'll be coming to you when I have #2. There will be 23 months between them.

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    sunnygirl79  (07-04-2016)

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    My gaps are 21 months, 14 months and 16 months. We are considering another and the gap will be at least 3 years and honestly, it scares me so much more.

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    Default 2 year gap between kids - VP and I playing nice

    Interesting R&A&H....

    I also found going outside on excursions was a sanity maker. The only thing is I found getting out the door to start with sometimes difficult. Maybe I was trying to do too much before leaving (tidy, hang washing etc). And *sometimes* going out could be difficult when my eldest played up.

    Great idea cooking dinner overnight for the next day. Unfortunately my ds1 couldn't be trusted to play outside by his own (breaking things, throwing things over the fence, annoying the neighbors dogs etc).

    When did you get your alone/down/rest time? Or did you feel you didn't need much?

    Which leads me to another side-bar: what factors impact how much someone enjoys/is stressed by motherhood in the early days/finds the transition from 1 to 2 kids easy vs difficult ? Eg
    - sleep
    - temperament of children (youngest and eldest)
    - any special needs of either children
    - family support
    - need for alone time
    - lack of access to friends
    - exposure to young children prior to having ones own (eg from large family with many younger siblings)
    - helpful partner
    - partner away a lot
    - feeling the need to 'keep' house (self imposed pressure)
    - underlying medical conditions
    - extent to which someone is happy to go with the flow
    - looking at the past through Rose colored glasses (pun not intended). Eg I thought my eldest was a breeze when he was a bub but then when I read some old Facebook poss .... We definitely had our moments.
    Last edited by VicPark; 07-04-2016 at 21:16.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mamasupial View Post
    Gosh you make it sound like a breeze! I'll be coming to you when I have #2. There will be 23 months between them.
    It's not always a breeze. I can tell you horror stories of poo on carpet and walls. And of my eldest stripping off in public

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    Interesting thread, following as I'm expecting no. 2 soon and there will be a 3 year gap.

    I'm dreading outside excursions with 2! There is absolutely no way I could feed a newborn when out, and watch my toddler, at the park/shops/library/cafe, he needs me to watch him like a hawk. He bolts (towards roads), climbs to the top of things at the park and tries to jump off, can't sit still at the library unless he's got my full attention so I've no idea how I'm going to manage that!

    Dinner prep for next day is a good idea, I do that now and I have to start dinner earlier otherwise it gets crazy in the afternoon.

    I think the transition from 1 to 2 will def depend on your child. My DS fed 1-3 hourly for the first few months around the clock, there wasn't really "going to bed" so that's going to be interesting this time, I'm sure I'll don my sleep deprived Mombie persona again.

    Subbing for any good tips!

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    I had a 2.5 year gap between #1 and #2. I found it so easy. No issues whatsoever. I can't really think of any 'tips' as such, just that I continued on our life as normal; I made #2 fit into our existing lives, rather than re-structuring our lives to fit around #2's needs.
    This was all while having an undiagnosed ASD toddler, so I didn't exactly have 'easy' children, I just made it flow easily.

    Then #3 came along 2 years after. My easiest child, but I found going from 2-3 so hard!

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    oh I didnt realise it was a specific age gap post lol
    Last edited by Nemmi1987; 07-04-2016 at 21:53.

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  13. #9
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    AdornedWithCats is offline Winner 2013 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    I'm kind of jealous of your small age gaps

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    Hm well my 2nd baby was very unwell - she pooed 20-30+ times a day, vomited 60+ times a day, a SCREAMED 8 - 10 hours a day. Breastfeeds took at least an hour each, and I also had to express & give EBM top ups because she was severe FTT & underweight. So, with a toddler too, it looked something like this -

    6 am - baby wakes up screaming. Change her poo & treat her bleeding bottom.
    6-7.30 - feed baby. Baby takes a 1 1/2 hour feed at this time.
    Toddler awake & roaming. Try to spend time with toddler whilst feeding baby.
    Change baby's poo during feed, and then another poo after feed.
    7.30am - give EBM top up to baby, then express. Make toddler brekkie at the same time. Put breastpump down mid express to change another baby poo.
    7.30am - have a quick shower & get dressed while baby screams.
    Clean up baby vomit, & change baby's next poo.
    Pack bags with at least 12 nappies, wipes, morning tea for the toddler. Tidy up toddlers brekkie mess (all whilst baby is screaming). Clean baby's vomit.
    9.00am - change baby's poo. Put baby & toddler in the car. Put bag in the car. Realise baby has done another poo. Take baby out of the car, change baby's poo, put baby back in to the car. Drive to destination (playgroup, library, park, or friend's house), & change baby's poo again as soon as we arrive.
    9.30am - change baby's poo again, & feed baby. This feed only takes an hour. Set toddler up with snacks before starting the feed. Change baby's poo again mid-feed, and again after the feed.
    10.30am - baby has finished feeding & has fallen asleep. Desperately try to spend some time with toddler.
    10.45 - baby has woken up screaming, because she has done another poo and it is burning her bottom. Vomits everywhere, soaking her clothes.
    Change baby. Clean vomit & apologise to friend/ library about the vomit soaked carpet.
    11am - change baby's poo, put kids in the car, & go home. Prep toddlers lunch and feed baby. Change baby's poo.
    12 - change baby's poo & put her to bed. Express with breastpump while reading a story to toddler. Put toddler down for a rest. Realise that I haven't eaten or drank anything yet today. Try to quickly prep dinner & promise myself I will eat after that.
    12:30 - baby wakes screaming because poo is burning her bottom. change poo & clean up vomit. Feed baby. Toddler 'rest' time is over. Baby continues to scream, in between feeding, pooing and vomiting.
    2pm - have a little faint, because I still haven't eaten or drank anything yet. Quickly throw back a coffee and some toast. Clean vomit & poo for the remainder of the day whilst baby screams and toddler takes care of herself or destroys the house.
    5pm - give toddler dinner & bath both kids. Baby screams the whole time.
    7pm - sit on the couch, put Night Garden on for toddler. Feed baby.
    Hubby comes home at 7pm to toddler peacefully watching tv & baby peacefully feeding. Hubby asks "Oh, what have you been DOING all day?" Mentally plot ways to kill hubby :P
    Put toddler to bed. Feed baby every few hours, all night, in between screaming, vomiting and pooing. Have 2, maybe 3 hours sleep if lucky. Start again.


    Sad to say, this was my life with my 2nd baby. day in, day out. (If you managed to get through reading it all!) It was a living hell. Baby #1 and 3 were SUCH a breeze in comparison!

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