Great advice above. I agree with all of it!
I found one baby a challenge because I was working out how to be a mum. Then the jump to 2 under two hit me like a truck! So hard!!! I think it was because its just impossible to give two little people ALL of you. I gave my first child everything I had..... When I had two this was impossible and that set off the mummy guilt. So much guilt 😪
But now I've been a mummy of 2 for over a year. What I can promise you is that it gets easier. Much easier. Lower your expectations. Get back to basics. If everyone in the family is alive and feeling loved at the end of the day then you are doing freaking awesome. That's it.
Like VP I had a 2yr gap (22mths) but I didn't have my oldest in cc so it was very busy. Other than the hiccup of dd2 needing PICU at 5wks old it wasn't that hard.
2-3 was hard. No dh, plus packing and moving interstate, dd3 was a difficult baby as well. It's all settled down pretty good now. It's easy now. Dd1 is at school, dd2&3 home FT with me.
The biggest issue I had (and still struggle with) going from 1-2 is the mummy guilt.
Putting dd1 in child care, being too tired to pay attention to dd1, as well as being irritable, having to let dd2 fuss and cry when busy with dd1 or getting her food, waking dd2 up to drag her out to the library etc.
Eta: oh and dh doesn't even get a look in having been so touched out and pestered and exhausted by the time he gets home. I try to make an effort to be intimate but tbh I'm simply not interested and just fake it for him.
Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 07-04-2016 at 13:22.
I had four minutes to adjust from two to three under two. just go with the flow. Do what you can, when you can, and just keep swimming. hugs, marie.
I found one child a breeze. Two under two was difficult. Three under four has been a breeze as well! But my first and third child were 'easy' babies,my second almost killed me. I have never used daycare, but the oldest is now in school so I only have two with me full time. My DH workd long h9urs so was never really home for the bath/ bedtime, which is when I could have used an extra set of hands.
My best tips are -
- use a towel with a hood after bath time so you dont have to dress the oldest child immediately, they can run around in their towel for a bit while you sort out the baby.
-food - cut up a fruit &veg & sandwich platter when the baby has their first nap of the day - while you clean up the kitchen from brekkie. Then food is pretty sorted for snacks & lunches.
- cook dinner in the afternoon 'down time' (like 2pm ish) - dont wait until the evening fussy time to try too cook dinner, especially if you are on your own
- dont feel guilty! Your first child is probably used to having your attention 100%. Those days are over for everyone! &the new baby will never get that. It's ok that they have to share you.
Do you think individual personality and needs could play a part? From memory you are a social butterfly (that's not a negative) whereas I am the type of person that needs alone time. Just wondering if that could be another reason why you (unlike me) found it not that hard.
Were there any times other than the 5 week mark that you found stressful, challenging or depressive? Actually that could be a whole other thread - would be very interesting to see what other hubbers experiences were!
Thank you for the replies and the well wishes 🙂 Please keep the advice coming, it's all so helpful and I know I'll keep coming back to this thread over the next few weeks when things start to get on top of me.
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