Hi everyone, I'm sorta newish. I've stalked posts and threads on these sites for ages for help and ideas but this is my first ever post.
I have a DD 14 to a previous relationship. A DS 5 to my current partner and am 14 wks pregnant with number 3...
My main reason for joining was to get some advice. My pregnancies are always complicated. I have an incompetent cervix that requires suturing, medication and bed rest. It was found with my DD and a suture placed at 22 wks I was hospitalized for a majority of the remaining pregnancy due to an irritable uterus (I'm amused by how grumpy pregnancy makes my body). I went into early labour at 36 weeks and needed a c section after 38 hours due to a narrow pelvis.
With my DS it was placed at 14 weeks due to my cervix beginning to funnel. I was on bed rest for remainder of pregnancy. I then found out I had gestational diabetes at 28 wks, my irritable uterus started again at 32 weeks and I was again hospitalized. I had my DS by c section after unsuccessfully trying vbac at 38 wks.
Now to this pregnancy. It was a complete surprise, it wasn't planned and has thrown us all off a bit. I was half way thru 2nd yr uni and my partner is currently unemployed. We live in a town around an hour away from any family support and I don't have much support around the town we live in that I can rely on. My partner is a heavy weed smoker who continually priorities it over us and I feel there are certain elements of DV to our relationship.
I have been thinking of moving back to the town my family lives in for extra support. I'm thinking about all the times I will be in hospital and who will watch my other 2. My DF is somewhat unreliable when left on his own.
However my DF is refusing to move back there. I want to move from this town. I dislike it here. I'm lonely and feel unsupported, unlike when I am in my mums town.
My last scan showed my cervix has started shortening again it was at 2.5cm (meant to be 5) and I've been placed on bed rest until my appt to see the doctor about the suture next Monday. I know the hospital stays will be starting soon and I'm scared what this will mean for my other 2.
My DF makes me feel useless for being on bed rest. He is doing a few days work every now and then but hasn't got anything permanent so I need to take the children to school etc which I would have help from my mum with if I lived closer. I feel like he doesn't care about this baby at all. I understand it wasn't planned but he makes comments like 'I'm doing everything for this family' because he had to pick our son up from school on his day off because I'm on bed rest.
I guess I'm just hoping someone can tell me I'll be doing the right thing moving to my mums town for the support etc and obviously leaving him behind because he doesn't want to move. He is saying I'm tearing our family apart but I can't do this on my own and that's how I'm feeling right now. I'm also scared of being a single mum and raising 3 kids alone.
He can be the sweetest guy and is a great dad. Sorry for the long post, there's so much more than this but ill leave it there for now. Thank u for reading