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  1. #1
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    Default Baby birthday dilemma, family and friends

    My daughter will be turning 1 in May and we've started discussing what we will be doing celebration wise. If anything it will be a small gathering of our friends and their kids as these are our daughter's friends. we are conflicted about wether to have friends and family together. For one my daughter will be too busy playing with her friends to care that her grandparents are there and I'm the one who will get stuck entertaining them. I know it is my daughters birthday and I feel a little selfish for choosing something that suits me better but I won't enjoy my time or be able to be my true self with our friends if our family is there (in laws in particular). There's also the issue of tension between divorced grandparents, when my husband and I have our birthdays we have seperate dinners with all parents and something with our friends on the weekend just to avoid the icky awkward situations. I'm happy to have dinner with the families (seperately of course) and a small gathering with friends...what do you all think? Any advice or previous experiences would be appreciated.

    On a side note: I did ask my mum this already and she said just have seperate things but it's my husbands family I'm more concerned about. It seems ever since I've had my daughter I'm always having to consider grandparents and their wishes more than my own. Which is something I never thought would be an issue prior to having a baby but it causes me so much stress!!!

  2. #2
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    Start how you want it to continue. Think about her 5 th birthday with 30 school friends running around crazy.
    If you already have separate things than it is probably assumed that how it will continue. Family dinner on her actual birthday where all adults just grow up and deal bring in the same room as the same time and a party with friends on the weekend.

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    MamaEve  (05-04-2016)

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    Adding we invite family t poo our kids parties but they need to entertain themselves. Iykim

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    can you just put a time limit on the celebrations? surely everyone can be happy for a short couple of hours. ? Your little one wont give a hoot who is there or not , so just make the arrangements to suit yourself. If there is too much tension around for this first birthday, I would then change plans for the next birthday. marie.

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    You know your family situation best - if you truly think having them at the same party with your friends and their kids won't work well, then go with the separate celebrations.

    It might be nicer for family to have a morning or afternoon tea celebration where they can have more quality time with your DD anyway.

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    Thank your your responses.
    I think I already knew the answer when I wrote the post but just we wanted someone to say I wasn't being silly.
    We have dinner with each set of grandparents once a week anyway so it would make sense to just celebrate her birthday with them when we see them that week and then have something with our/her friends on the weekend. I'm thinking only an hour or two celebration on a Sunday afternoon between her naps. This is the way I would prefer to do it even when she's older.

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    I should add that I get this anxious about every special occasion, I didn't even have a baby shower because with the added pregnancy hormones it drove me crazy just thinking about it!

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    We do separate now. We invited all family and friends to DS's first birthday and the in-laws were SO rude to everyone and made everyone feel uncomfortable. Not only because they were fighting amongst themselves, but also because they wanted DS's undivided attention, which wasn't fair to him or the rest of the guests.
    So its just less drama to do separate IMO.

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  13. #9
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    Frankenmum that is the exact situation I am afraid of! My in laws tend to hog my daughter and it infuriates me. It just makes sense for them to have their own time so everyone is happy.

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    We've definitely found it easier that way, that way no gets their nose out of joint about who gets more time with bub. Its soooo not worth the drama! And you want to be able to relax and have a good time at least one of the parties! Lol 😆


 

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