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  1. #21
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    @Freyamum it sounds like you are dealing with so much more tha just frustration at being a Sahm. We moved to perth when I was pregnant with our 3rd. I hated it. I cried every day. I still have many days when I hate it. I miss my friends who had known me for 10 years and who had supported me through good and bad.

    I have friends here but it's still lonely. I work but I'm so focussed on getting through the work so I can pick kids up and then come home and do dinner bath bed etc. It's 9pm here and I'm just starting lunch boxes. I haven't eaten (DH is away). I still have one kid to settle for sleep and one had an anxiety attack tonight over school work and that I'm never there for her.

    I interact with people at drop offs and pick ups but mostly people are rushing. I have to either go to work or take my youngest somewhere. I would have a coffee with a friend once a month if I'm lucky.

    I'm not incredibly strong at all. I just have to keep going for my kids as they need me the most. And I have the 10000% support of my husband. That makes the world of difference.

    I think you are doing so many of the right things. Where you're being let down is by your husband. Would he look at doing counselling?

  2. #22
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    From reading your threads for a while, the house and it's set out, and you being at home are really just pheripheral issues to the real one. Your husband. TBH I think the stuff you are resentful over is totally valid. Had my Dh even suggested a termination for any of our kids it probably would have been the end of our marriage and given how long we've been together I don't threaten leaving over every little thing. Frankly he sounds like a spoiled, abusive man-child.
    Last edited by delirium; 05-04-2016 at 09:19.

  3. #23
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    Big hugs. Not the same but I am dealing with unplanned pregnancy number 3. I am tired, struggling with MS all day that doesn't seem to be going away (I'm 19 weeks). Major financial implications - we moved inter state, took MASSIVE pay cut, I quit my job - all because I was supposed to return to work next year which is clearly not going to happen now.

    I get those days where you feel like you are trapped and angry. I know when I am like that it doesn't matter how much positive people throw at me I just can't seem to hear it. It doesn't matter that other people are able to pick themselves up and change - in fact sometimes it jut makes me even angrier.

    My head tells me all of this is not helping me, that I need to change my head space, that I need to focus on the positive, I need to be grateful for all I have. The rest of me tells my head to shut the f@ck up and leave me alone.

    No answers for you. Just hugs and maybe knowing you're not the only one who gets in these places and has trouble lifting back up will help.

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    Freyamum  (05-04-2016)

  5. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    From reading your threads for a while, the house and it's set out, and you being at home are really just pheripheral issues to the real one. Your husband. TBH I think the stuff you are resentful over is totally valid. Had my Dh even suggested a termination for any of our kids it probably would have been the end of our marriage and given how long we've been together I don't threaten leaving over every little thing. Frankly he sounds like a spoiled, abusive man-child.
    I don't blame him for wanting the termination I didn't want another baby either and I knew the day my period was due. He didn't pressure me but it still felt like I was being punished for going through with the pregnancy. I love the baby stage and as soon as she was born was madly in love with her. But even in labour I wasn't ready so I understood it taking a bit longer for him to be fully on board but it's taken so long. Because of his indifference and no other family to dote over her I've felt I needed to be everything to her but without that support I crack at times. Oh it's so complicated and hard. But he won't see anyone with me. He's good with her now. She's too adorable not to love but the distance between us might just be too big for it to work itself out.

  6. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by binnielici View Post
    Big hugs. Not the same but I am dealing with unplanned pregnancy number 3. I am tired, struggling with MS all day that doesn't seem to be going away (I'm 19 weeks). Major financial implications - we moved inter state, took MASSIVE pay cut, I quit my job - all because I was supposed to return to work next year which is clearly not going to happen now.

    I get those days where you feel like you are trapped and angry. I know when I am like that it doesn't matter how much positive people throw at me I just can't seem to hear it. It doesn't matter that other people are able to pick themselves up and change - in fact sometimes it jut makes me even angrier.

    My head tells me all of this is not helping me, that I need to change my head space, that I need to focus on the positive, I need to be grateful for all I have. The rest of me tells my head to shut the f@ck up and leave me alone.

    No answers for you. Just hugs and maybe knowing you're not the only one who gets in these places and has trouble lifting back up will help.
    Omg that is such a great description! I read a book called change your thinking and that helped me through some really bad patches, to recognise the negative self talk, accept that I'm the only one who can change my situation. But somedays I feel so stressed and I don't have the energy to challenge the negativity on my own and I just crumble. In my case that's when all the unresolved nasty arguments with dp come flooding back and it feels hopeless. I hit rock bottom and then start clawing back up. Like today things feel much better. Got my period. Hormones are a *****!! I feel stronger now the pmt has gone. I've had rare lunch out and dd2 is sleeping. I've done more serious research into a possible course and things might be ok. I just hate rollarcoasters!!!

    I hope the ms clears for you soon that alone would have me feeling depressed! I actually think 3 is a great number. Except for these crises I have ever so often... And the older kids are in a good stage and mostly think their younger sister is pretty cute and funny. How old are your other 2?

  7. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    Omg that is such a great description! I read a book called change your thinking and that helped me through some really bad patches, to recognise the negative self talk, accept that I'm the only one who can change my situation. But somedays I feel so stressed and I don't have the energy to challenge the negativity on my own and I just crumble. In my case that's when all the unresolved nasty arguments with dp come flooding back and it feels hopeless. I hit rock bottom and then start clawing back up. Like today things feel much better. Got my period. Hormones are a *****!! I feel stronger now the pmt has gone. I've had rare lunch out and dd2 is sleeping. I've done more serious research into a possible course and things might be ok. I just hate rollarcoasters!!!

    I hope the ms clears for you soon that alone would have me feeling depressed! I actually think 3 is a great number. Except for these crises I have ever so often... And the older kids are in a good stage and mostly think their younger sister is pretty cute and funny. How old are your other 2?
    I'm glad you're feeling a bit better today. Couldn't agree more its a roller coaster and it sucks!

    I have a HUGE age gap between 1 and 2 - 17.5 years. DS1 will be 21 later this month. DS2 will turn 4 a couple of months after this bub is born. Which in the scheme of things means life shouldn't be too bad really right? It's just DS2 is hard work. I hate saying that but seriously, he just never stops. Part of my stress at the moment is worrying about coping with another 24/7 koala baby like him - as well as handling DS2.

    Anyway I'm in the midst of a down day (may be down week or possibly month ha ha).


 

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