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  1. #11
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    I am currently a SAHM- bub is 5 weeks old, and I plan to stay at home until she turns 1 (give or take, as her birthday is Feb).

    I LOVE having this time with her, but I HATE being at home.
    At the moment, she is fussy and not sleeping well so I am busy and exhausted.
    When she finally goes to sleep its a manic race to get things done before she is due another feed/resettle. That's about 45mins- to eat, shower, tidy, clean, laundry.

    Yes, every 45 minute break is spent doing all these things:
    - breastfeeding so always hungry and can only grab quick things so don't get filled up
    - shower is keeping me awake and feeling human. 6-8 times a day is total overkill but I NEED it
    - tidy as I am the only one who does anything, and H leaves a trail of crap (dirty clothes, cups, glasses, plates, paper, etc) in EVERY room
    - clean...see above
    - laundry...there is so frickin' much laundry!

    *pause to get the baby, will finish later*

    ETA: And that's not including all the other stuff- shopping, cooking, meal prep, planning, organising the household, caring for two step kids, pick ups and drop offs, activities, coordinating with their mum.

    Then their is the baby's medical appts- born with a cystic hygroma on her neck. Been in and out of hospital in Randwick- we live near Revesby!
    Plus my after birth appointments- had a csection. Haven't healed properly because of all the above and am in so much pain.

    AND I don't drive!!

    I HATE being a SAHP. It's too hard and I am bored- it is an endless round of house, baby, house, baby, house, baby...

    I would enjoy time with her more if I was working even part-time. But I'd be even more time poor so who knows.

    Life sucks- whether you are a SAHP of a WOHP.

    ETA- When she does sleep, it's 2hrs sleep, 2 'awake', and repeat. I spend the two hours asleep batch cooking, cleaning, etc- diff things each 'break' so it gets done fully.
    Last edited by DT75; 04-04-2016 at 12:47.

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    Freyamum  (04-04-2016)

  3. #12
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    I think when other people's opinions pay my bills then I'll listen to them.

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    Adoralicious  (04-04-2016),DT75  (04-04-2016)

  5. #13
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    @Freyamum

    No one is irritated with you. I know I feel saddened that you seem so unhappy with your lot in life ATM. But no amount of advice will help you unless you want to do it.

    From the bottom of my heart. Good luck.

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    babyno1onboard  (04-04-2016),Mokeybear  (04-04-2016)

  7. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyflower View Post
    I think when other people's opinions pay my bills then I'll listen to them.
    If the opinion is coming from her husband as well then it would matter.

  8. #15
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    Can I ask why it was 'not good in hindsight' for your 2 eldest to be in care?

    Also I think you are still feeling resentful for having a 3rd that you did not plan. And until you address that you will not be content with being a SAHM for a few more years or being a studying/working mum.

  9. #16
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    Sorry @Freyamum if my post hurt you. It wasn't meant to at all. The truth is I've been in your same position and it sucks. I had an unplanned pregnancy, no support and a lot of stress around seeing myself disappear into a role I never intended for myself. I had to fight to get myself into a better space as I knew staying at home would suffocate me.

    To be honest I can't tell from some of your posts whether you are just venting or whether you want advice so I may have been confused.

    If you are in an environment where your decision to stay home is not valued and supported then sadly nothing anyone says on here will change that. I'm very lucky where I live being a Sahm is acceptable and fine so I don't think those who do it have the same problems you do.

    Good luck and I'll keep out of your threads in the future.

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    Freyamum  (04-04-2016)

  11. #17
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    hi freyamum, I think you need a hug. everyone has opinions, and that is fine, but it is not necessary to send frustration through the messages. sometimes people might feel anxious, or unhappy for many years before the time is right to make a change. marie.

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  13. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    If the opinion is coming from her husband as well then it would matter.
    I was referring to strangers opinions.

  14. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Sorry @Freyamum if my post hurt you. It wasn't meant to at all. The truth is I've been in your same position and it sucks. I had an unplanned pregnancy, no support and a lot of stress around seeing myself disappear into a role I never intended for myself. I had to fight to get myself into a better space as I knew staying at home would suffocate me.

    To be honest I can't tell from some of your posts whether you are just venting or whether you want advice so I may have been confused.

    If you are in an environment where your decision to stay home is not valued and supported then sadly nothing anyone says on here will change that. I'm very lucky where I live being a Sahm is acceptable and fine so I don't think those who do it have the same problems you do.

    Good luck and I'll keep out of your threads in the future.
    Sorry I was being super sensitive. I am just venting. I know I must instigate change but it's 2 steps forward 1 back. Creating new meaningful friendships, finding new interests takes time. For me anyway

  15. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    Can I ask why it was 'not good in hindsight' for your 2 eldest to be in care?

    Also I think you are still feeling resentful for having a 3rd that you did not plan. And until you address that you will not be content with being a SAHM for a few more years or being a studying/working mum.
    Actually I'm resentful that my so called partner has taken so long to accept that we have 3 kids now and things cannot be just the same. I was struggling with sahm badge before this pregnancy and yes that has made things harder but I absolutely adore her. He wanted me to terminate. I even considered it myself for a micro second. He barely looked at her for the first year but accused me of making her dependent on me by breastfeeding for so long. I don't resent her but I do feel trapped and angry. At myself for not being strong enough to leave or for these days that happen ever couple of months when I fall apart


 

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