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  1. #11
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    Last edited by BerryDelicious; 05-04-2016 at 20:10.

  2. #12
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    @BerryDelicious I can't imagine what you went through and the fact you are pursuing this shows you are still going through it. I have a nearly 11 year old and to think of her experiencing this in only a few short years makes me feel like crying.

    Have you seen a counsellor? It's often the case they can actually help with knowing what the right avenues are to find out information. Just thinking maybe family planning could help with giving you advice on the avenues to pursue.

    I hope I'm not overstepping or projecting here but I'm sure your mum was only trying to protect you. I know I would do anything to shield my children from what you went through and to limit the pain they would inevitably go through. She no doubt could have done better.

    Xx

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    BerryDelicious  (04-04-2016)

  4. #13
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    Last edited by BerryDelicious; 05-04-2016 at 20:14.

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    VicPark  (04-04-2016)

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    Last edited by BerryDelicious; 05-04-2016 at 20:16.

  7. #15
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    I don't have any advice but I have to say how sorry I am that you have had to deal with all that. And for your step father to then say such horrible things makes it even more heartbreaking. I'm truly sorry and I hope you get the answers you want and can find peace for yourself. Xx

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    BerryDelicious  (04-04-2016)

  9. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerryDelicious View Post
    Yes I've been in Councilling for a year now but only starting to scratch the surface in regards to this topic.

    I made it very clear to mum this morning that I don't blame her. I mean, a part of me is not impressed at all with the way she handled the whole thing, but i cant imagine what it was like for her as a mother to make this choice on my behalf.. I was too young to consent in any form anyway. She had to do what she thought was best.

    It was my step father who caused the most damage & seemed to enjoy reminding me that I had 'k!lled my b@by' (his words), and the boy responsible who thought it was appropriate to tell everyone (it spread through my whole year and I became su!cidal with the guilt & shame)

    No one ever explained to me that the whole situation was not my fault (the boy was 4 years older then me & forced himself upon me more then once)

    Looking back now, I really wish I had had the child & given it up for adoption. It seems like a much more humane thing to do had I been informed how far along I was..
    Oh my god you poor thing. I feel like crying reading through what you went through. And to carry the blame and shame for what that boy did to you and then made it so public.

    I hope you find some answers. You sound like an immensely strong woman now and a wonderful mum.

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  11. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerryDelicious View Post
    Thank you so much for your insight.

    Do they give that medication to everyone or just in late term ab0rti0ns?

    This would explain why I was kept waiting forever..

    Do you know if this medication (or other medications) are given to ensure the foetus is DOA? I know there is a high chance that the child could have/would have been 'alive' once removed.. I cringe to think what happened to that baby..
    That's ok. The medication is given to most women having terminations after about 12 weeks as at this stage the cervix needs to be dilated a bit. The medication normally causes cramping and sometimes bleeding which is the uterus starting to try to expel the pregnancy, so the fetus would not have been alive when it was removed from your uterus. It would not have felt pain. It's one of the medications used in medical terminations and miscarriages, which is why once you take it, it's too late.l to change your mind.
    In later term terminations (from about 20 weeks onwards I believe) the fetus is injected with potassium which causes a cardiac arrest and it will pass away in-utero. It then has to be delivered vaginally, so you basically have an induction of labour. You would remember this. I think you were probably less than 20 weeks pregnant from what you have described.
    I am glad you are receiving counselling. It really sounds like a horrific situation.

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    BerryDelicious  (04-04-2016)

  13. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs Snowman View Post
    That's ok. The medication is given to most women having terminations after about 12 weeks as at this stage the cervix needs to be dilated a bit. The medication normally causes cramping and sometimes bleeding which is the uterus starting to try to expel the pregnancy, so the fetus would not have been alive when it was removed from your uterus. It would not have felt pain. It's one of the medications used in medical terminations and miscarriages, which is why once you take it, it's too late.l to change your mind.
    In later term terminations (from about 20 weeks onwards I believe) the fetus is injected with potassium which causes a cardiac arrest and it will pass away in-utero. It then has to be delivered vaginally, so you basically have an induction of labour. You would remember this. I think you were probably less than 20 weeks pregnant from what you have described.
    I am glad you are receiving counselling. It really sounds like a horrific situation.
    Thank you again Snowman for your information. I don't remember the medication having any physical effect on me at all (no cramping or bleeding at all before the produre, only after the procedure)

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    The injection into the heart is over 24 weeks (viability week). At your gestation if your baby did take a breath it would likely have been fleeting. They couldn't have survived for long enough to suffer.

    I debated whether to point this out but after reading your comments, I feel like it may help. I'm sorry if it doesn't. This was not a late term abortion in the clinical sense. Late term is over 20 weeks, where the baby is delivered through induction of labour and if it didn't have the injection, those babies often do live for a short time (sometimes hours).

    At 16 or 17 weeks your little angel wouldn't have suffered, they didn't have the faculties to do that.

    The one who is suffering now is you, hon. I can't believe you've been through all this. I'm glad you're seeing someone. You're a really strong, admirable lady xx

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    Quote Originally Posted by BerryDelicious View Post
    I spoke to my mother this morning & she really is no help. Her memory is worse then mine. She doesn't remember anything other then the drive home afterwards.
    You sure? Unless your mother has a diagnosed mental condition I would consider calling BS on her claims. I find it difficult to believe she only remembers the drive home - especially if your step dad continued to give you grief afterwards (unforgiveable - so sorry you had to experience someone being such an ********).

    I hope you are able to get some answers from the information request xx

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