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  1. #1
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    Default *TW* late term ab0rti0n advice & support

    Hi All,

    I've been away living life for the past 12ish months but I'm back because this forum out weighs all others & I'm hoping some hubbers may be able to offer some advice & support.

    I have recently acknowledged, for the first time ever, that some things that happened to me as a child, truly were tragic & my 'late term' ab0rti0n was one of these tragic events I have never processed or healed from.

    I've been googling all night & I guess it is no surprise, that procedures of this nature are so hidden from the public, I can't get any answers.

    Firstly I was 13 at the time the ab0rti0n was preformed, and I have no idea how far along I was.

    I don't really feel like I had a say in what happened. I feel I was manipulated by my parents & it didn't help that I couldn't speak up & tell the doctors the truth.

    I have been searching for details around the procedure, but;
    1. My GP record's have been destroyed
    2. The clinic that performed the ab0rti0n is not returning my calls
    3. My mother is yet to assist me to Access my medicare records at the time.

    I feel betrayed in many ways as I don't feel anything was explained to me in any depth. My parents flat out refused to have a single convocation about the pregnancy from the date of confirmation right up until this day (approx 17 years later)

    I really need to hear from others about their experiences with surgical ab0rti0ns & gestational age at which their procedure was carried out.

    I feel there was more to my procedure that no one is willing to discuss.

    What I DO know about my procedure;
    *I was atleast 16 weeks at first GP app. I did cry/worried it was too late to have an ab0rti0n but the GP assured me they could do something to the paperwork so that I could have the procedure done in day surgery without police involvement.
    *At the clinic, nobody would answer my questions about what would be done with the baby after the procedure.
    *The lady who did the ultra sound on the day of the procedure, would not show me any images of the baby
    *after the ultrasound I had to wait AGES in the pre-opp room as they needed my mother to return to the clinic to sign more paper work. They would not tell me why & I found this frustrating as we had already signed everything (they knew my age, confirmed the pregnancy, mum had settled the account, and I was not allowed to see or sign these 'other forms' myself)
    *I believe I was given medication while waiting (I'm not sure why)
    *As I was lead into the theater, I told the nurse I had changed my mind & was informed that it was 'too late'
    *I remember crying as I went under general & waking up so sick & in a lot of pain.
    *I remember so many women coming into recovery & leaving while I was still there vomiting & unable to stand.

    I feel I was a lot further along then I was lead to believe, and I really think I deserve to know the truth.

    Any advice on where to look or how to access these records of a procedure that happened so long ago? Surely there would be a record SOMEWHERE.

    Age aside, does this sound like standard procedure to you? I can't stop thinking about it.

  2. #2
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    I have no answers or help for you but would like to wish you well in your quest for answers and closure. It truly sounds awful for anyone, let alone a young 13yo. I have a 13yo DD and I simply cannot imagine it...
    Good luck xx

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  4. #3
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    I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling. My only suggestion would be to apply under freedom of information for your Medicare and clinic records. Is your GP still in practice? Although the records are no longer available they may remember you and be willing to discuss it.

    If your parents won't discuss it with you are there any other family members who may have details? I think it's really unfair of your mum to withhold such vital medical information from you.

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    So sorry you are going through this.
    I second going through the FoI (freedom of information) request proceeds. This should help obtain access to your Medicare records. Not sure about the GP/clinic records if it was a private clinic (if it's covered by FoI etc) - perhaps you could try and then if it wasn't covered a lawyer could help. Whatever you do don't call the clinic/Medicare/GP again until you have the FoI results (you don't want to give them an opportunity to do something to the information they have).

    As for my mother - I wouldn't give her an option of not telling me. I would say you either tell me what went on or I am not talking to you again. That's me - I would be ok with the possible fallout from such an ultimatum, you would have to think about whether you are too.

    Have you received counsellIng at all?

    Hang in there. Xx

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    Default *TW* late term ab0rti0n advice & support

    I would keep trying the clinic. Try calling, emailing, maybe even submit a foi request for your records from the clinic. They may have destroyed them. I believe they have to keep them for 7 or 10 years after your 18th birthday.
    The medication they gave you would have been a prostaglandin. It's used to soften and ripen the cervix in later term surgical terminations. You need to have it about 2 hours before the procedure to give it time to work. This is also why it was too late for you to change your mind just prior to surgery as eventually you would have passed the fetus, which is not only dangerous but extremely traumatic.
    I'm really sorry that this happened to you. Termination of pregnancy should be a womens decision. Your choice was taken away. That's not ok. I would absolutely seek counselling to help you overcome this.

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    I'm so sorry that this happened to you, and that it's troubling you now. I'd want to find out what i could too.

    What state did it happen in? If Victoria, you might be able to use the Health Records Act to make a request.

    FOI won't apply to a private clinic, but the Privacy Act will. Look at their privacy policy on their website - it should tell you how to make a request for your records if they still exist.

    As for Medicare records, they probably won't tell you much - Medicare is just about payments for services etc - at most, it may just say that you (or given your age you mum or dad) received a rebate for a certain procedure on a certain day.

    Good luck with getting the information you're looking for.

    I second accessing some counselling. Maybe call your local pro-choice organisation, and ask if they could recommend a counsellor? I say pro-choice, as i think the pro-life people would likely refer you to religious-based counselling, which would probably be quite unhelpful and make you feel worse.

    Good luck xx

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    Berry, this is a heartbreaking story made just so much worse by your age at the time. I had a termination at 22 weeks and that had to be by labour and delivery. I think 17 weeks is too far gone. I thought the cut off now was 14/15 weeks for surgical terminations.

    It sounds to me like no one explained anything to you properly or provided you proper after care. I would be looking up the health privacy legislation in your state to find out what your options are regarding your records. A call to the health department might be a good place to start, although I wouldn't necessarily describe your situation to them.

    Most importantly though, I'd get some counselling. This is way too much for most people to process on their own. I needed heaps of counselling after mine.

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    I couldn't read and run. I'm so sorry that you've had such a terrible experience at such a young age. I don't really have any other advice then what has already been given. Huge hugs.

    Is it possible for you to go to the clinic or see your old GP in person? Otherwise a letter from a solicitor may help expedite matters.

    What do your parents do if you sit them down and demand to know what happened? If you "threatened" to tell whoever it is that they don't want to know about your pregnancy and the procedure (assuming that there is someone they don't want to know and you don't have a problem doing this), would that make them talk? It's tricky. You absolutely deserve to know the truth. I wouldn't normally stoop to emotional blackmail, but if it gets them to talk...

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    I'm afraid I don't have any answers to your questions, but I just have to say that I'm so very sorry for what you went through. It sounds utterly horrific and I hope you find some closure and answers xx

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    couldn't read and run. first of all, sorry to hear you're going through this. it is quite simply, unimaginable and unfathomable your parents would do this to you. you absolutely have a right to full disclosure. as others have said, have you or would you consider seeking counseling?

    you've asked to hear from others who had surgical terminations. I had one at age 22/23, I think I was roughly 8-9 weeks along. it makes me shudder now but at the time it was the right decision for me and I've no regrets. obviously being an adult at the time, my experience was nothing like yours.

    I do remember they did an ultrasound though to confirm the gestational age, the screen was also turned around and the sound was down. presumably this was to limit patient distress.

    as I said, I'm sure my post is of absolutely zero help to you but just enter to reach out and send some support. I sincerely hope you get at least some, if not all the answers you're looking for xx


 

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