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  1. #1
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    Default WWYD Sister asking Dad to change will

    My sister & Dad own a company together that they set up several years ago - basically equal amounts of money, time & energy invested & have both worked full time in the company since it started.

    It's not doing too well right now, but has in the past & has some projects on the go that could develop into very lucrative investments. Dad isn't well & honestly may not make his next birthday. Still working normally but very unhealthy.

    Just recently he shared with me that my sister called a meeting with him for the purpose of 'telling' him that he needs to leave her 100% of his half of the business in his will & not leave any to me. Dad was going to leave his half as 50/50 with my sister & I, so I would end up with 25% of the business. She said that it's all her hard work that has grown the business & as I have nothing to do with it, I shouldn't benefit from it.

    Dad was quite upset, & even though I honestly don't care & if it's that important to my sister she can have it, I still think that it's my Dad's right to do whatever he wants with his half, which he owns & has contributed to fair & square. My sister & I have a rocky relationship so I won't cause waves but wanted to know what others think & what they would do in this situation?

  2. #2
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    I think it's your Dads business what he does with his half.

    Personally I'd stay out of it. If he wants to leave you half he will.

    And if he doesn't then I wouldn't want it anyway..

    Your sister just doesn't want you to have it as she thinks she's deserves it. But it's not up to her it's up to your Dad.

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    Summer  (04-04-2016)

  4. #3
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    Your dad can do whatever he likes with his share. Your sister is way out of line and should back off.

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  6. #4
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    If my dad had asked me my opinion then I wouldn't back out of it. She sounds like a bully.

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    Summer  (04-04-2016)

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    I have to agree with @sunnyflower and @babyla on this one. How your Dad distributes his estate after he passes is his business, and I think your sister is way out of line in even approaching him about it in the first place.

    She is obviously feeling threatened by you potentially coming into the business, but none the less, if that's what your Dad wants then what he says goes!

    Did your Dad give you any indication as to what he was going to do? Honestly, if he raises the topic again I'd probably just reassure him that you don't want to influence him in any way and that you're happy for him to do what he is most comfortable with and what he thinks is right. My bet is he will then go 50/50 anyway. As a parent I wouldn't think he would want to favour one of his children above the other - business partner or not!

    By the way, I'm really sorry to hear your Dad is unwell

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  10. #6
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    @Summer would you want any part of the business? Or would you sell your share to your sister?

    It seems if the business is doing badly that maybe your sister is concerned you'll want her to buy her out and she wouldn't be able to afford it. Is that possible?

    Do you have an open enough relationship that the 3 of you can sit down and discuss what happens to the business once your father passes? As hard as that is this sounds doomed any way you look at it unless everyone is open with each other.

    Personally if I were in your shoes I'd want no part of a business I have no interest in but it needs to be managed fairly for everyone.

    Sorry about your dad too.

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    I'm sorry to hear about your dads health. X

    I think all I can add is, whatever your dad decides to do, he MUST tell both if you in person to eliminate even a smudge of doubt.

    Your relationship with your sister will probably go from rocky to over if he doesn't make it clear if he leaves you 25%.

    She's completely out of line... Completely.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    It seems if the business is doing badly that maybe your sister is concerned you'll want her to buy her out and she wouldn't be able to afford it. Is that possible?
    This was my first thought.

    I immediately thought of farmers and inheritance, as it's something I'm familiar with. Often one child will finish school and then work on the parents' farm, while the other sibling/s go off and do other things. This becomes their livelihood and they go in to debt etc. for it, then the parents pass and leave equal shares of the farm to all children. Suddenly the one that has poured their life in to the farm has to take out a loan to pay the other sibling/s out and, while the farm may look successful on paper, they don't actually have that money to give.

    Your sister may have the same concerns and I think they're valid. Even more so if your relationship is strained.
    It may be time for the three of you to sit down and work out exactly what the plan would be if you do get left with 25% of the business, or alternative money or assets that your Dad could leave you to make it fair.

    I'm sorry to hear about your Dad x

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    While I think your sister is totally out of line telling your Dad what he can and can't do with his share of the business, I can understand where she's coming from. This is a business that she's grown and put her energy into and she's worried about having to share what she sees as 'her' business with you. It's not right but it's human nature sometimes.

    If this issue is important enough for your sister to have spoken to your Dad and him to have told you then I think it's really important that the 3 of you communicate and work it out now.

    Obviously you all want things to be settled fairly and you've said you have no interest in the business so could there be another solution? For example does your dad have other assets, such as property, that he could leave solely to you to the same value as his share of the business which he could then leave solely to your sister? Or could your sister buy him out of his share now so she becomes sole owner and then he could leave you both a 50/50 share of the money he makes from the buyout?

    I sincerely hope you work it out. I've seen so many families fall apart over the death of a parent and resulting fights over inheritance, it's so sad to witness. Sorry to hear about your Dad and best of luck that you manage to sort it out fairly.

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    So sorry you are going through this. Give your dad a big hug and tell him you are ok with whatever he does. Then drop the subject and have some quality time with your dad before he passes. Xxx

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