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  1. #51
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    Id love three children but I'm too scared to even think about the next birth if I ever try again. I think that if your healthy and have good pregnancies what do you have to loose. Being "older" doesn't mean anything I was 27 when I had Brooklyn and look at all the Sh/t l went through(unhealthy pregnancy and recovery) I think of I was older l
    May have handled it better, I feel like I've gone backwards to being a teenager that needs her mum.

    I've always thought, you'll never regret the kids you have.

    If you still yearn for a baby in a few years go for it sunny 😬
    Be my surrogate whilst your at it lol

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  3. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reneeharry View Post
    Id love three children but I'm too scared to even think about the next birth if I ever try again. I think that if your healthy and have good pregnancies what do you have to loose. Being "older" doesn't mean anything I was 27 when I had Brooklyn and look at all the Sh/t l went through(unhealthy pregnancy and recovery) I think of I was older l
    May have handled it better, I feel like I've gone backwards to being a teenager that needs her mum.

    I've always thought, you'll never regret the kids you have.

    If you still yearn for a baby in a few years go for it sunny 😬
    Be my surrogate whilst your at it lol
    Hugs xxx

    I think all of us March mummas need a bit of time before we should be making any decisions (you're still a March mumma in our eyes!!). Good thing you are a bit younger and don't need to rush your decision, much harder for you - but not impossible. Give yourself time to recover physically and mentally lovely xx

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    Reneeharry  (01-04-2016)

  5. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoThisIsLove View Post
    I have 2 girls (5 & almost 2) and I'm 35 on Sunday. I'm umming and ahhing over a third. Dh would love more.

    I find 2 incredibly hard at times and we would have to get a bigger car etc.

    I love children tho so struggle with the finality of being done.

    I'm going to wait to see how I feel in a year or two but I do realise the clock is ticking. There are increased risks with having children after 35 which I'm taking into consideration too. I know for me I would not have been an as good mother in my 20s so glad I waited till 29 for my first. That's just me tho. I had a lot of growing up to do.
    Thanks similar feelings to me. It's such a personal decision. I am personally not so worried about age but that's because I have been lucky enough to have good pregnancies and healthy babies, not everyone is so lucky and I understand I might not be next time either. I also come from a group of friends who married late and started having kids later - I was only the 2nd in my group to have a baby at age 32 (I got married at 30). That's my personal circumstance though. I feel like a young healthy 36 year old, and my nana had kids into her 40s.

    I am a bit blown away on how quickly this thread got out of hand, discussion is great but I never intended for this thread to get personal to anyone's circumstances! What's right for one person isn't going to be right for another and that's ok. I am certainly not judging anyone for wanting kids earlier/later it's very personal and relevant to individual circumstances.

    I really do appreciate all the responses though and so many valid points to consider. At this stage it's more about keeping the maternity clothes/newborn stash rather than giving it up, whether to downgrade our health insurance, and revisiting our decision in about 12 months. It really is more financial than anything else for us. Money makes a big difference (even though it shouldn't, it does).

    I just don't want to get to 40 (not saying that's too late BTW, it's more of a number I plucked out of my head) and regret not having tried for another. I need to figure out what's important to me and my DH. We've been so fortunate to have 2 healthy babies perhaps I should be grateful and happy and leave it there. But I have never really explored the idea of 3 so that's why I am trying to look at from different angles.
    I am super lucky in that DH is supportive of whatever I want. Right now he is just grateful I am no longer pressuring for him to have the snip, lol. He comes from a bigger family and would be happy for another.

    Thanks again ladies and you're all great mummies whether your 18 or 48 xx

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  7. #54
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    After my second was born I had exactly the same experience - I couldn't stop thinking about having a third! I had a great birth second time around and was on a massive high.

    However, despite being a much easier newborn than DD, he has been a challenge. He's not a great night sleeper and has only slept through a handful of times (he's 20mo). He's had 3 surgeries and several hospital admissions which have all been a challenge to manage with an older child and very little family support. His development has suffered due to being sick all the time so that has been stressful. Seriously, the kid isn't even 2 yet and he has a paed, a speech therapist, a Physio, an ENT specialist, an ophthalmologist... And all of this has totally obliterated any desire for a third!!!

    Give it time, see how you feel in a year

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  9. #55
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    I didn't have great pregnancies unfortunately after around the 25 week mark, especially my second. I found my pregnancy with her rather traumatic.

    Health wise both children are perfect and so am I but I had a c section with my first and a vbac with my second. Both were full on.

    We will see. In a lot of ways I feel done, but I can't bring myself to get rid of any baby stuff 😕

  10. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    Also I found as a 26yo mum I had patience and energy to deal with the gazillion wake ups, I was flexible, adapted quickly to my babies needs without losing my identity.

    Yet now, I'm more tired at 32. Dh has a shorter temper than he did 6yrs ago. How can we parent our children gently if we are tired all the time?

    Dd3 as a newborn knocked the socks off me. Granted dh was away for the first 9 weeks of her life but it was exhausting. I don't recall feeling so tired after my first two.
    .
    Could you being tired/DH being crankier have more to do with 3 kids being tough/Babies not sleeping/DH being away/PND ... rather than age?

  11. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Could you being tired/DH being crankier have more to do with 3 kids being tough/Babies not sleeping/DH being away/PND ... rather than age?
    To quote Elsa, let it go.
    Seriously VP...R,A,&H is allowed to talk about her experience without being chastised for it.

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  13. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    WTF? How was I being condescending??? I was talking about me.
    I'm not necessarily saying it was intentional - just saying I thought the following could have been expressed differently - in a more sensitive manner.

    "I also know I could juggle 4 as I am very confident in my parenting skills.
    "
    (Implies you are a great parent and those that don't want 4 are incompetent)

    "Let's face it. I'm getting older. I'm 32 this year. Odds are not increasing in my favour. Dh is 34. He flat out refuses to have any kids after he is 35. We will be 50 with a 15yo and 17yo at home if we have another next year (plus a 20&22yo)"

    I believe enough has been said by enough people on this particular item.

  14. #59
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    Default How to make it work with 3 kids...

    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    To quote Elsa, let it go.
    Seriously VP...R,A,&H is allowed to talk about her experience without being chastised for it.
    Perfectly valid point considering on one hand R&A claimed she was confident in her parenting skills/ could handle 4 kids (implying she could do so this far as she was still young) .... And on the other R&A has mentioned it is getting tougher (sometimes to a debilitating point) . When someone is being given advice about popping out a third or 4th kid I believe they need to be given the entire picture - warts and all.

    I'm done now thanks Kristoff
    Last edited by VicPark; 01-04-2016 at 06:01.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I'm done now thanks Kristoff
    I hope you have a great day. It sounds like you could do with one

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