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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Age is a very personal thing and rose's comments are spot on.

    I had my first at 32 and my last at 42. I had 2 more in between those ages. My recovery each time was longer and slower, my ability to cope with sleep deprivation decreased along with my patience. It's also hard as almost all of my friends have left the baby stage well behind and I'm still stuck in it. It can be lonely and isolating.

    I don't regret waiting to have kids not one bit but I'd be lying if I said being older with small children is easy.
    well everyone is different. I've no doubt we all have more energy when we're younger, but there's also maturity levels and other lifestyle factors to consider. I find it a bit offensive to suggest being old and having babies is a bad thing. there's no way I would've wanted or herb ready for kids in my 20s. would I have had more energy? sure! would I have actually wanted a kid and all that responsibility, despite having boundless energy? no effing way.

    I'm the opposite re friends and babies. we're all in the baby phase together, so again, it just feels like the right time to be doing it.

    I can appreciate that there'd be a huge difference in recovery and how you'd feel after a having a baby at 32 compared to having one at 42.

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  3. #22
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    Default How to make it work with 3 kids...

    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    I don't think you are a geriatric. These are my concerns. I'm worried about health issues, pregnancy, labour, coping on minimal sleep with a newborn and older children. I simply don't have the energy I had with my first at 26yo.
    fair enough, i don't have the energy I had at 26 either.

    to each his own at the end of the day 👍🏻
    Last edited by turquoisecoast; 31-03-2016 at 21:22.

  4. #23
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    As you know I just had my 3rd after a 9year gap. I am 3 months off 39. With my first two it was full on, I had a toddler to deal with as well as a new born. I love the fact that the kids are a bit older but we may contemplate no. 4 (for me, DP's second) in a couple of years. To me age isn't really a concern. My third is as healthy as my first who was born when I was 28. For me, it isn't really the finance, more of a "you only live once" view.

    By the sounds of it, you wouldn't need to upsize anything if you are considering baby no. 3 down the track. And your DS 1 will probably be in school, so it will be less hectic than having 3 at home. The finance situation is your personal choice, would you be happy sacrificing your career for a few more years?

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  6. #24
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    I don't have the energy I had at 28 but I have the experience and a more relaxed attitude. Being an older parent isn't such a bad thing. I am enjoying it more this time around.

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  8. #25
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    OP - whatever you do don't make a decision while you have a bunch of post baby hormones pumping through your veins.

    Everyone is individual and the right decision is going to be different for everyone.

    I don't think wanting more kids necessarily has anything to do with parenting 'capabilities' as such but rather our life experiences, personal desires, wants, values, financial position - far too many factors to list them all. No one decision is more right than the Other and no one decision means someone is a better mum than someone who makes a different decision.

    I personally am happy with 2 kids. I need to work outside the home to be the best mum I can be. I don't feel I could do that with 3 kids. I am super organised and don't like chaos (not always a good thing I admit!) and I am the type of person that needs at least some alone time. I need to feel financially secure. I'm not a go with the flow person.

    For me 2 kids is a good balance - I think I wouldn't cope terribly well with 3 in the sense that it would probably lead to stress and tip me over the edge into PND depression etc. and I don't want that for myself or my kids.
    At the moment I am happy's and that's something I will hold on to as that's in the best interests of everyone.

    Some people may be able to be healthy and happy with more kids, may not need as much alone time and may not need to have that break working outside the home. Good on them, that's great.

    Your answer may be different and that's ok.

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  10. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marchbundle View Post
    I don't have the energy I had at 28 but I have the experience and a more relaxed attitude. Being an older parent isn't such a bad thing. I am enjoying it more this time around.
    I don't think anyone is saying being an older parent is all bad. Obviously everyone's experiences will be very personal to them. I'm just pointing out the practicalities of how I feel about my age and the age of my children.
    @turquoisecoast my friends were all having their babies in their 30s too. The thing is though they stopped whereas I kept going.

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  12. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    gosh, I just had my first at age 35 (36 in a few months). you must think I'm positively geriatric.
    We can be dinosaur buddies together.

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  14. #28
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    Default How to make it work with 3 kids...

    Quote Originally Posted by Marchbundle View Post
    I don't have the energy I had at 28 but I have the experience and a more relaxed attitude. Being an older parent isn't such a bad thing. I am enjoying it more this time around.
    Yes - there are some benefits to being an older parent - more likely to be financially secure and independent (not reliant on a man). More relaxed, mature, possibly happier and less depressed. Less likely to have regrets as you've done all the things you wanted to do before having kids. Some may say generally more stable all around however not sure I would always agree - that's a can of worms.
    Last edited by VicPark; 31-03-2016 at 21:39.

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  16. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I don't think anyone is saying being an older parent is all bad. Obviously everyone's experiences will be very personal to them. I'm just pointing out the practicalities of how I feel about my age and the age of my children.
    @turquoisecoast my friends were all having their babies in their 30s too. The thing is though they stopped whereas I kept going.


    Oh thats all good, I wasn't taking offence lol, just stating my experience. I actually had the best birth experience this time around than with my older two. I was in hospital with each of them for 6 days and was anemic. This time around, I was home the next day and recovered so much quicker....was fabulous

  17. #30
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    Default How to make it work with 3 kids...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I don't think anyone is saying being an older parent is all bad.
    No. They were just implying that it would perhaps be the end of the world for them. Heaven forbid a 50 year old have a 15 and 17 year old kid!
    Last edited by VicPark; 31-03-2016 at 21:38.

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