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  1. #141
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    OP, my 2nd is 3 in June (1st is 8) and my head on the whole "3rd" thing is about as messy and all over the place as this thread!

    Firstly, as other have said, do not decide while still able to smell newborn on your little ones head. It is intoxicating and makes all sorts of sleep-deprived, fluids-covered, screaming, relationship wrecking, body ruining, hell-presence seem like rosy bliss!

    Over the past almost 3 years I have had times when I have felt 100% at peace with having our 2 kids, looking forward to moving on, getting time for me again etc. Then a week later I am thinking about if we would need a double pram or if DS would be old enough to walk!

    There are so many practical reasons to just stop now. It seems like the most sensible decision.

    The biggest problem is though, our kids are just freaking awesome! My heart honestly aches for how much I love them, they make me smile every day regardless of how little sleep they allowed me to have the night before.

    So many practical reasons though to stop at 2. I thought 40 would be my cut off, but here I am with a perfect cycle teasing me every month letting me know I'm still fertile! Then there's the thought of possible miscarriages again, another CS birth, Gestational diabetes, low milk supply. Bigger car, kids would need to share a room, with one in school I already have the beginings of all those expenses - plus the time demands which can't work around your schedule. What if baby screams nonstop for 8 weeks like our first? Or doesn't sleep through for 2 years like our second? Then there's work and needing time off again and and and...

    Sorry, I'm probably no help. I keep hearing about people just knowing they are done or not done, however I just can't seem to get that clarity.

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  3. #142
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post
    Not only that, everyone in WA freaks out at the slightest bit of cold weather and don't leave the house! I found winter in WA so depressing as everyone just hibernates. Can't take the boat out? Oh no, what to do? Ummm, build cafes with open fireplaces or buy a jacket?
    Or my personal favourite which is cancel ANYTHING outdoors if there's even the slightest bit of rain. Seriously it's as if everyone is a witch who will melt if water hits them (apart from water from the surf).

    Don't get me wrong I've embraced the surf culture 10000% as have all my kids but give me a grey overcast chilly day and I'm quietly happy.

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    Stretched  (02-04-2016)

  5. #143
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    Lol I just checked the thread again and find it V amusing how it's veered so far off track 😂. Something to entertain me in the wee hours!

    My 2 cents I grew up in a warm place on the beach, tried Melbourne city living for 2 years and just got downright depressed with the weather. Love the city but just not for me, we moved back up here and love the laid back beach lifestyle (with consistent weather!!). A very personal thing. My Tassie-born DH loves it too. No idea what this has to do with anything I CBFd scrolling back to figure that one out 😂

  6. #144
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post
    OP, my 2nd is 3 in June (1st is 8) and my head on the whole "3rd" thing is about as messy and all over the place as this thread!

    Firstly, as other have said, do not decide while still able to smell newborn on your little ones head. It is intoxicating and makes all sorts of sleep-deprived, fluids-covered, screaming, relationship wrecking, body ruining, hell-presence seem like rosy bliss!

    Over the past almost 3 years I have had times when I have felt 100% at peace with having our 2 kids, looking forward to moving on, getting time for me again etc. Then a week later I am thinking about if we would need a double pram or if DS would be old enough to walk!

    There are so many practical reasons to just stop now. It seems like the most sensible decision.

    The biggest problem is though, our kids are just freaking awesome! My heart honestly aches for how much I love them, they make me smile every day regardless of how little sleep they allowed me to have the night before.

    So many practical reasons though to stop at 2. I thought 40 would be my cut off, but here I am with a perfect cycle teasing me every month letting me know I'm still fertile! Then there's the thought of possible miscarriages again, another CS birth, Gestational diabetes, low milk supply. Bigger car, kids would need to share a room, with one in school I already have the beginings of all those expenses - plus the time demands which can't work around your schedule. What if baby screams nonstop for 8 weeks like our first? Or doesn't sleep through for 2 years like our second? Then there's work and needing time off again and and and...

    Sorry, I'm probably no help. I keep hearing about people just knowing they are done or not done, however I just can't seem to get that clarity.
    No worries all valid points. I wonder if men analyse it all as much as we do - I am thinking no!! It's really a matter of weighing up whether our desire to have a third outweighs all those practical reasons to stop at 2 - of which there are so many.

    Rest assured no decisions will be made any time soon. Age is a consideration for me so I won't be waiting another 3 years to decide but I would be giving it at least 12 months and hopefully I will be more certain one way or another by then.

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  8. #145
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post
    Not only that, everyone in WA freaks out at the slightest bit of cold weather and don't leave the house! I found winter in WA so depressing as everyone just hibernates. Can't take the boat out? Oh no, what to do? Ummm, build cafes with open fireplaces or buy a jacket?
    Minus the boat thing, you just described me! I hibernate in winter...a jacket does not keep me warm, and I hate being cold. Going out to the park or whatever on an 17 degree day is torturous.
    As for cafe's...we gave up on them after our 3rd child. It's one of those lifestyle changes that happened. Especially now they're all big kids and eat big...waaaayyyy too expensive!!

  9. #146
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    Seriously so many negatives for cold weather. Will big mumma over here with thunder thighs who lives on a street where they actually do a FUN run up my street? Who even does that.... I mean? Running fun are they mad......... It's like as steep as Mount Everest. As soon as I walk home from the park I literally strip naked. I can't wait for winter!

    Ps I grew up with surf culture too but I'm so over no rain in Aus

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  11. #147
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    I hate the cold too. And yet I'm stuck in Arandale (Canberra) for the next 3-5yrs. The things I do for my dh.

    Sigh.

    My kids are all rugged up. It's 8.20am and dreary here. What would I give to move to somewhere warm and most of all HUMID. This silly weather is aging my skin too quickly. Boohoo. Woe is me.

  12. #148
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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    Minus the boat thing, you just described me! I hibernate in winter...a jacket does not keep me warm, and I hate being cold. Going out to the park or whatever on an 17 degree day is torturous.
    That's because you can't actually buy decent jackets in mostly-warm places like WA. All my good jackets were bought in London or New Zealand.

  13. #149
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnygirl79 View Post
    No worries all valid points. I wonder if men analyse it all as much as we do - I am thinking no!! It's really a matter of weighing up whether our desire to have a third outweighs all those practical reasons to stop at 2 - of which there are so many.

    Rest assured no decisions will be made any time soon. Age is a consideration for me so I won't be waiting another 3 years to decide but I would be giving it at least 12 months and hopefully I will be more certain one way or another by then.
    This is what I'm doing. Our youngest is 2 in May and we had 3.5 years between dd1 and dd2 which has been perfect but I'm not rushing it. I've decided to see how I feel by this time next year 👍

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  15. #150
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnygirl79 View Post
    No worries all valid points. I wonder if men analyse it all as much as we do - I am thinking no!! It's really a matter of weighing up whether our desire to have a third outweighs all those practical reasons to stop at 2 - of which there are so many.

    Rest assured no decisions will be made any time soon. Age is a consideration for me so I won't be waiting another 3 years to decide but I would be giving it at least 12 months and hopefully I will be more certain one way or another by then.
    I didn't think we would faff around this long since, at almost 38 when I had my 2nd, I didn't think I would consider pregnancy again after 40.

    DH says he's done, but part of him still thinks about the good parts of having a third (until all the negatives scream louder). He gets very neglected during the pregnancy and newborn stage, so that's yet another negative for him. I doubt he overthinks it all as much as me though.

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