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  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    well everyone is different. I've no doubt we all have more energy when we're younger, but there's also maturity levels and other lifestyle factors to consider. I find it a bit offensive to suggest being old and having babies is a bad thing. there's no way I would've wanted or herb ready for kids in my 20s. would I have had more energy? sure! would I have actually wanted a kid and all that responsibility, despite having boundless energy? no effing way.

    I'm the opposite re friends and babies. we're all in the baby phase together, so again, it just feels like the right time to be doing it.

    I can appreciate that there'd be a huge difference in recovery and how you'd feel after a having a baby at 32 compared to having one at 42.
    Exactly that... everyone is different.
    I was not ready to start a family in my 20's even though I was in a stable relationship with my now dh. We were both career orientated and wanted financial stability first. We were also enjoying our time together and the pubbing, clubbing scene. I know I wouldn't have been as good a mum as I am now had I had children early. I had my first ds at 32 and my last 3rd ds at 39 and no regrets. I wanted to be done by 40. There was no difference in the recovery time as I got older. The only thing I found was I didn't cope as well with sleep deprivation after having number 3 when having those rough nights but now he is 18 months, over that baby stage, more settled now the teething is just about finished it's great. If I wasn't turning 41 this year and didn't have to do ivf (we are done with the expense) I would have considered a 4th. Mine and dh's energy levels haven't decreased as we have gotten older, we are both very fit and active.
    Last edited by Blessedwith3boys; 01-04-2016 at 12:41.

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  3. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by BornToBe View Post
    When I think about having more children or not, I try to picture the future as well as the present. So, being 50 and yes, having a teenager around opposed to being 50 or 60 and having 1 or 2 grown children out of the house. I like to think about all this time and money spent now, as an investment to a growing family in the future. Personally I have no problems with room sharing, second hand items and living frugally so finances don't hold us back too much. There is enough to go around. I would consider more urgently health concerns, support from others, just physically and mentally "handling" it. Age doesn't bother me either, I am 32 with number 3 on the way and have no concerns over birth/recovery. My grandma had her last at 46!
    You summed up a lot of how I feel exactly. My kids room share, I have a 16 year old car that I think is great, & money really isnt something I think about at all. I am 31 & have 3 kids. I always said I wanted to have all my kids by the time I was 30, which I did... but now I'm not 100% sure I'm 'done'. Now when considering a 4th,its not the immediate concerns of a new car, etc that I think of - its about a different lifestyle. Less opportunity to travel with the kids later on in life, I will be older while they are still at home, etc. Its a tough choice to give an opinion on, because I think different things matter to different people.

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  5. #93
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    Not having kids at home when we're in our 50's... πŸ˜€ it wouldn't be a home without them still there. Dh is in his early 50's and there is nothing wrong with that. We will be encouraging our boys to stay home as long as possible.

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    binnielici  (01-04-2016),BornToBe  (01-04-2016),VicPark  (01-04-2016)

  7. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by binnielici View Post
    That was me πŸ˜„ and trust me cheap by comparison to braces, prescription glasses, orthotics, school fees, sports club fees & equipment, first cars (even with their contribution), food food food and don't get me started on the teenage growth spurts 2 weeks after you have bought all new school uniforms, school shoes, sports shoes - replacing the practically brand new stuff from the previous growth spurt!

    I kid you not DS1 once went up 4 shoe sizes in under 6 months 😱
    I'll start saving now then πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    binnielici  (01-04-2016)

  9. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blessedwith3boys View Post
    Not having kids at home when we're in our 50's... πŸ˜€ it wouldn't be a home without them still there. Dh is in his early 50's and there is nothing wrong with that. We will be encouraging our boys to stay home as long as possible.
    my parents were 25 and 27 when they had me, my mum was 33 with her youngest. so even though they started young (well for these days, that was normal back then) they still had all 3 of us at home at age 50. I'd gone back to uni to do a second degree, my sister was also at uni so we were both in and out of home plus my youngest sister was still in school.

    I think the way kids are these days (choosing and starting careers much later), you'd be very lucky to have them all out the house in your 50s.

    I think by your 60s it's reasonable to expect everyone to have left home and become independent although us dinosaur parents might have to wait til our 70s for an empty nest πŸ˜‚

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  11. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by binnielici View Post
    That was me ν ½νΈ„ and trust me cheap by comparison to braces, prescription glasses, orthotics, school fees, sports club fees & equipment, first cars (even with their contribution), food food food and don't get me started on the teenage growth spurts 2 weeks after you have bought all new school uniforms, school shoes, sports shoes - replacing the practically brand new stuff from the previous growth spurt!

    I kid you not DS1 once went up 4 shoe sizes in under 6 months ν ½νΈ±
    Re. shoes... something that threw me this year was having to buy adult sized shoes for DS... for adult prices. OMG I almost died when I looked at the price.
    Plus high school uniforms are twice the price of primary.
    For outings- some places consider an adult entry price from crazy ages- 13, 14, 15.
    Also you can't go out to the playground for an outing. They like movies and shopping.
    Sport fees get more expensive as they get older.
    School fees also, even for public schools. You pay per subject for some many of them. School sport fees. School sport bus fees. Oh and "EVERYONE" stops at the shop on the way to the bus.
    Don't forget they need laptops too. For each child.
    For many kids- forget about Kmart cheapie clothes. Only the surf brands will do. Bloch for dance stuff, not Target.
    Smartphones. Smartphone plans.
    Shows/fairs/carnivals/concerts/movies "oh but ALL my friends are going!!!"

    Ohhhh I could go on.

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    binnielici  (01-04-2016)

  13. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    I think the way kids are these days (choosing and starting careers much later), you'd be very lucky to have them all out the house in your 50s.

    I think by your 60s it's reasonable to expect everyone to have left home and become independent although us dinosaur parents might have to wait til our 70s for an empty nest ν ½νΈ‚
    There was a study or something that showed that for the majority if kids haven't left home by 20 they won't till they're 30. Something like that rings a bell.

    I want my kids to go to uni in Melbourne so they'll move out late teens / early 20s if we haven't moved back. That's my plan anyway as I keep reminding them 😎

    ETA I'm 45 soon and my baby is 2. She won't leave school until I'm 60 so safe to say Ii'll be home with at least 1 through my 50s.

    I just want some "us" time for DH and me before we get too old to do things.
    Last edited by Sonja; 01-04-2016 at 14:06.

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  15. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I want my kids to go to uni in Melbourne so they'll move out late teens / early 20s if we haven't moved back. That's my plan anyway as I keep reminding them 😎
    Love!

    I would also prefer my kids move out and learn to live independently earlier rather than later.

    Will start telling DS now (he is 3 lol).

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    Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (01-04-2016)

  17. #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blessedwith3boys View Post
    Not having kids at home when we're in our 50's... πŸ˜€ it wouldn't be a home without them still there. Dh is in his early 50's and there is nothing wrong with that.
    Yes, but you didn't start having kids until 30's and 40's. By 50 I'll be a grandparent most likely. I don't want to still be raising teenagers while my older kids are having grandchildren.
    No one has said it's not okay in general, just that it's not what they want because they had kids in their 20's. DH and I actively chose to have our kids young, we don't want to be raising children for 30 years...and that's okay. It's also okay for those that do.
    Also, we don't want our kids to still be living at home when we're in our 50's. We will support them to be at home through one uni degree if they choose to go through the local uni, but we want them to learn to stand on their own two feet earlier rather than later so won't be having our kids living with us when they're 30 odd.
    Last edited by Full House; 01-04-2016 at 14:37.

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  19. #100
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    Reading all this has made me glad I've waited to have children (due to not wanting any before now and waiting to find the right DH the second time round ). I'm almost 37, we're still trying for #1 but I was dancing in nightclubs till 4am at 32 lol. I don't feel anywhere near old yet, so hopefully if I feel super old and tired when I finally get a baby, I'll just remember I got to have fun for a long time beforehand

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