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  1. #11
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    Hubby had no idea about it. He didn't believe me until he saw that it was his mothers handwriting.

    It was next to the keys FIL had asked me to grab for him so definitely no snooping on my behalf. That's something that goes so strongly against my morals. Hence I have not snooped to see if they've kept any other notes.

    They have no reason to be concerned, we have a strained relationship since discovering our child has Aspergers.

    There is absolutely no reason that is excusable for them to be snooping nor keeping the details... I'm just floored that someone would do such a thing.

    I've told hubby they are no longer welcome in our house.

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  3. #12
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    Is there a chance that your MIL thinks it is medication you are giving your son? I guess not because it would have your name on it though...

    Even if your husband did give her the information he hasn't been honest with you so I would just be direct about it at first. I would try to address the issue calmly, like 'I'm a bit confused but I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation.' Then see what she says before going further.

    I think asking your husband to choose between you and her (by saying she's not welcome in a home that you share and may be how he sees it) could inflame things. Although I completely understand why you would say that.

  4. #13
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    This a gross invasion of your privacy, regardless of your in-laws motivation. I would be most angry at DH for not having your back on this. If my parents did this to my hubby, I would be confronting them immediately to get to the bottom of it.

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  6. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    I'd just confront them calmly about it and ask how they found the meds and what the reasoning behind the hand written note is. I'd check with your dh first though to see if he's mentioned anything but it does sound like she's found them herself if she's copied down the dosages etc and note is in her writing.

    I'd feel as outraged as you do, to have your privacy shattered like that, and by someone you've entrusted in your own home! it's pretty poor!

    I'm also appalled information she's acquired by such foul means is so casually stored. you'd think if you'd bothered to go to the trouble of snooping and making notes then you'd at least go to greater length to store this ill-gotten info a bit more securely!? I hate that kind of sloppiness!

    I think you need to confront and get this out in the open. keep us posted!
    This. Do your best to stay calm. I would struggle in the same circumstances.

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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    Is there a chance that your MIL thinks it is medication you are giving your son? I guess not because it would have your name on it though...

    Even if your husband did give her the information he hasn't been honest with you so I would just be direct about it at first. I would try to address the issue calmly, like 'I'm a bit confused but I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation.' Then see what she says before going further.

    I think asking your husband to choose between you and her (by saying she's not welcome in a home that you share and may be how he sees it) could inflame things. Although I completely understand why you would say that.
    Hubby would never give her the information. He's very supportive in that regard.

    But if it comes down to choices (if that's the way he views it) he can choose. I've been patient with them for over a decade pulling these types of stunts. If I didn't have a child to consider I'd already have made the choice for him. He's the best husband except when it comes to this stuff.

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  9. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by KrispyKreme View Post
    Hubby had no idea about it. He didn't believe me until he saw that it was his mothers handwriting.

    It was next to the keys FIL had asked me to grab for him so definitely no snooping on my behalf. That's something that goes so strongly against my morals. Hence I have not snooped to see if they've kept any other notes.

    They have no reason to be concerned, we have a strained relationship since discovering our child has Aspergers.

    There is absolutely no reason that is excusable for them to be snooping nor keeping the details... I'm just floored that someone would do such a thing.

    I've told hubby they are no longer welcome in our house.
    I would've said the same. Why is it of any concern to them?

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    Quote Originally Posted by KrispyKreme View Post
    Hubby had no idea about it. He didn't believe me until he saw that it was his mothers handwriting.

    It was next to the keys FIL had asked me to grab for him so definitely no snooping on my behalf. That's something that goes so strongly against my morals. Hence I have not snooped to see if they've kept any other notes.

    They have no reason to be concerned, we have a strained relationship since discovering our child has Aspergers.

    There is absolutely no reason that is excusable for them to be snooping nor keeping the details... I'm just floored that someone would do such a thing.

    I've told hubby they are no longer welcome in our house.
    Thanks for clarifying.

    I would outright ask for an explanation, or if you don't want to deal with them, would your DH be willing to approach them about it?

    I would want to know why they had made it their business. It's private.

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    Please tell me you took the list. I an not for stealing but that information is not for anyone eyes expect yours and your Dr's.
    It sounds like they have made the list to take to a Dr to find out more information on what going on with you.

    You NEED to confront them. This is not on. They have no right to that information unless YOU gave it to them. Your husband has no right give that information out without your permission.

    This way more than snooping and your husband to grow the beep up and have your back. If he ever wants your trust again.

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    I would be very angry. I also have some medical conditions and if I found out that someone was keeping a list of my meds and dosages when I hadn't specifically discussed it with them I would feel so violated. There's no excuse, it doesn't matter if she was worried or thought it was for your son etc, if you had wanted her to know you would have told her. A persons medical history is confidential for a reason. With many illnesses there's a lot of judgement out there. It's a completely inappropriate thing for her to do.

    I would keep the list, show it to her and be direct. Say I found this list of my meds and dosages. Why do you have it and how did you find out this information? Put her on the spot and too bad if it's uncomfortable. I also think you are well within your right to say she is no longer welcome in your home. I wouldn't want someone in my home who I couldn't trust not to go through my things.

    As for your DH not thinking its a big deal, ask him how he would feel if he knew your Mum had gone through his private things and kept lists. It's a crazy stalkerish thing to do!

  14. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mama Mirabelle View Post
    I would be very angry. I also have some medical conditions and if I found out that someone was keeping a list of my meds and dosages when I hadn't specifically discussed it with them I would feel so violated. There's no excuse, it doesn't matter if she was worried or thought it was for your son etc, if you had wanted her to know you would have told her. A persons medical history is confidential for a reason. With many illnesses there's a lot of judgement out there. It's a completely inappropriate thing for her to do.

    I would keep the list, show it to her and be direct. Say I found this list of my meds and dosages. Why do you have it and how did you find out this information? Put her on the spot and too bad if it's uncomfortable. I also think you are well within your right to say she is no longer welcome in your home. I wouldn't want someone in my home who I couldn't trust not to go through my things.

    As for your DH not thinking its a big deal, ask him how he would feel if he knew your Mum had gone through his private things and kept lists. It's a crazy stalkerish thing to do!
    I completely agree. If for some reason they saw your meds or anything they could've had a conversation with you about it.
    Keeping lists of meds and dosages raises alarm bells for me.


 

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