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  1. #1
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    Default Parents not respecting Privacy!!!

    I am so frustrated with my mum, I'm trying my hardest to not get annoyed with her but she just pushes my buttons so much!

    I was dozing in my bedroom (in my own house) enjoying some peace and quiet and some down time as I'm 34 weeks pregnant and DH had taken DS out for a little while and my mother walks into my bedroom!! WTAF!!

    Im 30 years old, married, expecting bub #2 and live 40 minutes from my parents house!! I asked mum why she didn't knock on the front door, apparently she did but I don't believe her as she is the only person who I don't hear knock ever. I asked why she didn't call and she said they were out for a drive and thought they would come by, but she was out for a drive 30 minutes away from my house.

    All I can think of, imagine if DH and I were getting some action and my mother walked in. My mum was so quiet walking in, she didn't call out when she came into the house, she literally walked into my room and whispers, "hello are you asleep"

    DH must of left the back door unlocked when he left so that's why she was able to get in the house. This is not a unique occasion either and I have asked her several time to just call before coming over but she never does.

    When DS was just born we lived about 15 minutes from them and she jumped our front gate ( as tall as an average person), walked around the back of our house and was knocking on my glass back door one afternoon, scared the crap out of me as I had my back to the door and was breast feeding and on my own at home. Same thing she could have called on her mobile and I would have let her in.

    It's just so frustrating I just don't know what to do about it. I have asked her to call before she comes around but she never does, if it was DH's family Member, I would be cracking the ****s big time. I know it frustrates him too but he knows that I repeatedly ask her to call etc......Help me, what do I say to her to make her understand that we don't want them dropping by unannounced.

  2. #2
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    does she have a key to your house? revoke the key!!

  3. #3
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    Oh another example, when I was pregnant with DS we told my mum that we would be over Xmas day around lunchtime. DH and I decided to go for a walk for an hour without our phones and when we got home, I jumped in the shower, as I got out I picked up my phone and noticed all the missed calls, then 10 seconds later I hear my mum in my house shouting my name hysterically (it was 11am). She had even seen DH outside before coming in but was so worked up that she needed to see me. She was breathing heavy and looking really stressed, apparently she thought we were coming over at 10am and I asked her what she thought had happened and she said that she thought we had been broken into the night before and DH and I were tied up in our house......... Seriously I couldn't believe it. My mum and I are very opposite she is a drama queen and I'm very logical and straight forward. I just don't understand how she thinks.....

  4. #4
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    Nooooooo. Time to respectfully insist they give notice prior to arrival, and only after you respond that a visit is okay i think dropping by unannounced is well and truly out.

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    AdornedWithCats  (27-03-2016),Sweetcheeks1  (27-03-2016)

  6. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    does she have a key to your house? revoke the key!!
    Omg no keys at all! I think DH would divorce me if I gave one to her 😂 DH must have left the door unlocked by accident when he left today.

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    turquoisecoast  (27-03-2016)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sweetcheeks1 View Post
    Omg no keys at all! I think DH would divorce me if I gave one to her 😂 DH must have left the door unlocked by accident when he left today.
    well start locking your doors!!

    gosh that's quite rude to just rock up and come into your house. i'd be livid too!

    she sounds like she has a few issues and zero boundaries.

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    I don't have advice but just wanted to lend support! My mum is the same, drops by all the bloody time. Luckily she doesn't have a key and we don't leave our door unlocked but she's forever dropping by because 'they were out' and calling a thousand times a day for inane reasons. She's a drama queen too and will 'mishear' me so if I say we'll be there at a certain time and we're not I'll get a million worried phone calls.

    I don't know what to do about it either; I know it comes from love with her but I also think she must be missing something in her life - friends, interests, hobbies etc, to be so over invested in mine and it makes me sad for her.

    Sorry I can't be more useful but just know you're not alone. I just try to focus on the fact she's setting a really good example for me for what NOT to do to my kids.

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    Default Parents not respecting Privacy!!!

    Your mum sounds exactly like mine.

    mine has no idea about personal space

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    Sweetcheeks1  (27-03-2016)

  13. #9
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    How frustrating!

    All you can do is be even firmer and more direct with her. Tell her that she HAS to call before she drops in from now on, or you are going to completely lose your shiz at her.

    My mum has on occasion done the random drop in - it bothers me that she doesn't call first and I do let it be known! The last time she did it I got quite bothered by it as DS was really sick and the house was a bit untidy. She hasn't done it since.

  14. #10
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    Honestly all I can think of is turning her down at the door. It stops the 'open door policy' she feels you have at your house.

    I'm an introvert and posts like these make me grind my teeth lol. She's being so rude!

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