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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaybaby View Post
    Thanks for everyone's comments and replies...it is interesting to hear everyone's perspective. And thanks to those who have provided resources.

    Can't remember who asked, but the nails are her own, not fake...I'm jealous of them...

    Just to keep the conversation going...what are your thoughts of these photos? This is my DD, practicing her Cali poses one evening by the river...photos taken by a friend (I was there). They are on her Instagram, along with other Calisthenics photos, in training leo or costume.
    Those pics are fine imo, shes not posing to look a certain way, shes doing her sport. But in the wrong hands i would still be worried.

    So sad that we have to worry about some innocent photos like that

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  3. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I don't really care what people's personal experiences are if they use inflammatory language like some of the posters have.

    This is a real child of a real member. I think people could use language that was less intended dramatic to get their point across though.
    Thanks Sonya. Fortunately I have a pretty thick skin...and always remember that people behind keyboards feel they are able to say things they wouldn't dream of saying to someone in person. I knew this was going to be a provocative subject do was prepared to hear it all. Not everyone is...
    Fortunately I have zero concerns about my parenting ability. ..doesn't mean I won't always strive to find information and ideas and that includes asking for other parents perspectives.

  4. #63
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    I guess I'm very sensitive about comments as my nearly 11 year looks about 15 and attracts a lot of head turns when we go out as she's very tall, brown with striking features. I just want her to be a girl without any self awareness for as long as humanly possible. That people might judge her for the clothes she wears or how she carries herself makes me so angry.

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  6. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Seriously you accuse a 13 year old of "wanting sex attention"?

    I really feel for the OP.
    But this is exactly the issue its perceived that way. Especially by men. It's very sad but it's reality.

    She doesn't look 13 and a grown man stated she looks like she wants s.ex attention. That scares the life out of me. This is why I don't want pics of DD like that on the net. And there are thousands of men like him, who think that way.

    It shouldn't be that way but it is you can't change that. I can't stop 30 year old men looking at DD in shopping centres all I can do is try my best to protect her.

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  8. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janesmum123 View Post
    But this is exactly the issue its perceived that way. Especially by men. It's very sad but it's reality.

    She doesn't look 13 and a grown man stated she looks like she wants s.ex attention. That scares the life out of me. This is why I don't want pics of DD like that on the net. And there are thousands of men like him, who think that way.

    It shouldn't be that way but it is you can't change that. I can't stop 30 year old men looking at DD in shopping centres all I can do is try my best to protect her.
    But that is not the fault or issue of the 13yo. It is us as adults.

    They are not s*xualising themselves. We are doing it. And telling them that they are doing it. When 99% of the time it is so far from the truth that they want s*xual attention.

    Maybe she was showing off the length of her hair? A new leotard? Or maybe she is actually proud of how her body looks due to her training. Maybe its a progress shot of how far she has come?

    And then to be told 'she is looking for s*xual attention' does not sit right with me.

    We expect so much of them when we need to control ourselves.

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  10. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I guess I'm very sensitive about comments as my nearly 11 year looks about 15 and attracts a lot of head turns when we go out as she's very tall, brown with striking features. I just want her to be a girl without any self awareness for as long as humanly possible. That people might judge her for the clothes she wears or how she carries herself makes me so angry.
    Yes..my DD also looks a lot older and more developed (10DD bra size ) than she is, and at 13 is well aware she looks older, because she us told all the time. My DD and I talk all the time about judgement. People are always going to judge you, regardless of who you are and what you do or don't do, the important thing is to be accountable to yourself, be the best person you can be.

  11. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    But that is not the fault or issue of the 13yo. It is us as adults.

    They are not s*xualising themselves. We are doing it. And telling them that they are doing it. When 99% of the time it is so far from the truth that they want s*xual attention.

    Maybe she was showing off the length of her hair? A new leotard? Or maybe she is actually proud of how her body looks due to her training. Maybe its a progress shot of how far she has come?

    And then to be told 'she is looking for s*xual attention' does not sit right with me.

    We expect so much of them when we need to control ourselves.
    I can't answer for other posters but I said it looks like she's trying to be sexy. Now that may not be the case at all I totally admit that, but its how its perceived by others ( or could be by boys, men and pedophiles etc) that's the whole point of this thread isn't it? Why posting certain pictures is inappropriate?

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  13. #68
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    Default Social media and teens

    Quote Originally Posted by Janesmum123 View Post
    But this is exactly the issue its perceived that way. Especially by men. It's very sad but it's reality.

    She doesn't look 13 and a grown man stated she looks like she wants s.ex attention. That scares the life out of me. This is why I don't want pics of DD like that on the net. And there are thousands of men like him, who think that way.

    It shouldn't be that way but it is you can't change that. I can't stop 30 year old men looking at DD in shopping centres all I can do is try my best to protect her.
    But honestly men and adults who think that way would still think that if her DD was just smiling innocently and dressed in any outfit as she is clearly an attractive girl so does that mean we ban all photos and not let her leave the house - no - we teach our kids and teenagers about how to respect themselves and how to ignore unwanted attention and let them live their lives without always worrying about what other people think as we can't change that

    OP I see those photos and think your DD is gorgeous and an instantly envious of her nails and hair! I have many friends with teen daughters and I have 3 teen nieces, all gorgeous and all have guidelines on what's appropriate or not to post and luckily none have had any problems ( 3 go to a private school who has a very strict social media policy and no provocative photos are allowed which definitely helps ) but their parents are very upfront and have put these guidelines in place and we have told them ( as employers) how important your social profile now is today

    DS is only in kindy but even they had to sign a social media and iPad usage policy about what the school expects and what is appropriate which I think it's great starting so young!
    Last edited by Elijahs Mum; 28-03-2016 at 15:23.

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  15. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    But that is not the fault or issue of the 13yo. It is us as adults.

    They are not s*xualising themselves. We are doing it. And telling them that they are doing it. When 99% of the time it is so far from the truth that they want s*xual attention.

    Maybe she was showing off the length of her hair? A new leotard? Or maybe she is actually proud of how her body looks due to her training. Maybe its a progress shot of how far she has come?

    And then to be told 'she is looking for s*xual attention' does not sit right with me.

    We expect so much of them when we need to control ourselves.
    I'm not saying it's the child's fault I'm being relistic about what men are thinking as has already been proven on here. I'm not ok with those types of photos from a 13 year old. What she is trying to do is beside the point. I'm not comfortable with a grown man thinking my 13 year old wants s.ex. What if he starts messaging her, what if he sends her photos of himself. What if he wants to meet up with her. Young girls are very impressionable.
    Like I said before we can go on a moral crusade all we want and talk about how it shouldn't be this way but it doesn't change the fact it is this way.

    I guess it's each to their own.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SoThisIsLove View Post
    I can't answer for other posters but I said it looks like she's trying to be sexy. Now that may not be the case at all I totally admit that, but its how its perceived by others ( or could be by boys, men and pedophiles etc) that's the whole point of this thread isn't it? Why posting certain pictures is inappropriate?
    But its not the posting that is inappropriate. Its the thoughts of someone on said post that is/could be inappropriate IYKWIM?

    It should be the person who thinks these thoughts that should be pulled up not the person posting an innocent picture.

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