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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by binnielici View Post
    With regard to the school and screen based learning - there are many things the school can do to stop access to social media and similar during school hours. The quickest and easiest is installing firewalls on their wifi.
    This. My girls have school laptops and the school have placed restrictions on what can and cannot be accessed.

  2. #52
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    I have refrained from posting because I do not have a teen but I just have a few thoughts.

    Please do not say this teen is being 'inappropriate' or is dressed provocatively. The OP has said it is a leotard - i.e. dancing. Any 'bad thoughts' are never the fault of the teen or the parent of the teen. It is the fault of the person thinking it. ETA people have inappropruate thoughts when someone is dessed from head to toe in clothes. Do not blame the clothes or the person wearing the clothes.

    OP I personally do not see anything wrong with the pic. I would discuss what the purpose of it was and what thoughts your DD had when taking the pic and posting it.

    You have been provided with some great info. I would just make sure her FB/IG privacy settings are all up to date (seeing as FB/IG regularly reset these on upgrades so pics/posts etc become public).

    Keep up the convo with your DD. You are doing a great job.

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  4. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    I have refrained from posting because I do not have a teen but I just have a few thoughts.

    Please do not say this teen is being 'inappropriate' or is dressed provocatively. The OP has said it is a leotard - i.e. dancing. Any 'bad thoughts' are never the fault of the teen or the parent of the teen. It is the fault of the person thinking it. ETA people have inappropruate thoughts when someone is dessed from head to toe in clothes. Do not blame the clothes or the person wearing the clothes.

    OP I personally do not see anything wrong with the pic. I would discuss what the purpose of it was and what thoughts your DD had when taking the pic and posting it.

    You have been provided with some great info. I would just make sure her FB/IG privacy settings are all up to date (seeing as FB/IG regularly reset these on upgrades so pics/posts etc become public).

    Keep up the convo with your DD. You are doing a great job.
    I agree 100%.

    I've looked at the picture several times and I'm just not seeing what other posters are seeing. I see a girl checking out her hair in the mirror and taking a pic maybe to see if it's straightened properly or something. I find nothing inappropriate or provocative, intentional or otherwise in this pic.

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  6. #54
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    I showed my husband the photo and said if DD posted this photo (showed your DD- and he said DD would be wanting sex attention). Sorry I hope I'm making sense.

  7. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by monnie24 View Post
    I showed my husband the photo and said if DD posted this photo (showed your DD- and he said DD would be wanting sex attention). Sorry I hope I'm making sense.
    Seriously you accuse a 13 year old of "wanting sex attention"?

    I really feel for the OP.

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  9. #56
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    Default Social media and teens

    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Seriously you accuse a 13 year old of "wanting sex attention"?

    I really feel for the OP.
    I think part of the issue here is that we are all coming from very different backgrounds. Depending on what children have seen, heard, been exposed to they may be far more sexually aware than perhaps they should be.

    So we as adults are viewing this very differently. If we were sexually aware around that age we assume the OP's daughter is too - iykwim

    This of course is the whole problem with young children on social media - right or wrong - the way people will view these images cannot be controlled by the child posting.

    I am coming from a place where my DH works with child exploitation material. I know how pervasive it is, I know how invasive it is, I know how quickly and easily it can get out of hand. This colours my view of children using the Internet.

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    My eldest daughter is only 5 but i asked myself "would i be happy if it was my daughter posting this picture of herself"? The answer was no. I cant exactly put my finger on why other than its very posed, if she was standing front on smiling it wouldnt be a big deal, but i think its just the pose itself? imo its like shes trying to look sexy ( thats how it comes across anyway)

    Im dreading the whole social media thing, honestly i think its just poison for teens. The sexy photos, bullying, predators and being made to feel left out etc and people only showing the best of themselves i could go on and on. I certainly wouldnt want my child to have access to it without me very closely monitoring it.

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  13. #58
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    Default Social media and teens

    Haven't read the other replies but I wouldn't have said the girl in that pic was a day under 18 (based on the pose and the fact I can't see her face!). You saying she is 13 shocked me! Yes, the photo itself is not shocking - like she said, it's just her cali leotard. Saying that if she's 13 and intelligent then she knows exactly what she is portraying with that pic! I have younger sisters who are now 17 and 19 and 100% they knew at 13 how to pose a photo. It's the social media world that we live in that means young girls are not as innocent as they act with regards to the pictures they put up. Especially on platforms like Instagram where ANYONE can see your pics (unless set to strictly private) and your popularity is based on 'likes' and 'followers'. It's going to sound weird but if she had posted a photo of herself actually engaged in calisthenics training etc in the exact same leotard it would've felt a lot more innocent. Same as if I post a picture of myself in a bikini at the beach compared to posing in it in front of a mirror at home... :-/

    I can't help with resources but I reckon you could probably contact your local community support officer and get some information as to what resources they would suggest?

    Edit to add: just showed hubby the pic and not the post and he reckoned she was 18 and about to go out clubbing.

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  15. #59
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    Thanks for everyone's comments and replies...it is interesting to hear everyone's perspective. And thanks to those who have provided resources.

    Can't remember who asked, but the nails are her own, not fake...I'm jealous of them...

    Just to keep the conversation going...what are your thoughts of these photos? This is my DD, practicing her Cali poses one evening by the river...photos taken by a friend (I was there). They are on her Instagram, along with other Calisthenics photos, in training leo or costume.
    Attached Images

  16. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by binnielici View Post
    I think part of the issue here is that we are all coming from very different backgrounds. Depending on what children have seen, heard, been exposed to they may be far more sexually aware than perhaps they should be.

    So we as adults are viewing this very differently. If we were sexually aware around that age we assume the OP's daughter is too - iykwim

    This of course is the whole problem with young children on social media - right or wrong - the way people will view these images cannot be controlled by the child posting.

    I am coming from a place where my DH works with child exploitation material. I know how pervasive it is, I know how invasive it is, I know how quickly and easily it can get out of hand. This colours my view of children using the Internet.
    I don't really care what people's personal experiences are if they use inflammatory language like some of the posters have.

    This is a real child of a real member. I think people could use language that was less intended dramatic to get their point across though.

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