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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    All nice in theory however in practical terms it doesn't matter what the intention of the sender is. It's the intent and capability of the recipient that determines the threat.

    That being said I find it difficult to believe there is zero intent by a 13 year old to sexualise herself when posting a glam-ed up photo of herself in a leotard. Its a show thing not a functional (athletic) thing.

    I still stand by my views from a few years back that bikinis on kids are in them-self sexualising of kids. What other valid reason is there for wearing something thing that only covers the genitals and breast region.
    How is she "glam-ed up"??? Seriously you can see her torso and she's pulling back her hair. She's wearing nail polish? Is that why?

    Your very post and the language you use says to me that you are imposing your own assumptions on this photo.

    I would probably find it very confronting if one of my girls posted something like this but I'd have to think very carefully before I accused her of doing it for the reasons you identify.

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    babyla  (27-03-2016),Mokeybear  (28-03-2016)

  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I have an almost 11 year old so am really curious about this.

    When is social media "essential" for a girl? I don't want her on it until she's 15. I really struggle with this as she badgers us all the time wanting to know when we'll allow it. She has friends who already have Instagram.

    I'm not on Facebook or anything other than BH so I don't see why she needs it. I know she'll wear me down though.
    In my experience it becomes essential in their mind when everyone else is and they start to feel left out. Usually around final year of primary, definitely by first year of highschool.

    It does become a social outlet for them and the preferred method of keeping in touch with friends outside school. My 15 year old has only recently signed up to Facebook and mainly uses it for group chats. She has had instagram for longer.

    The downside is when there has been a party / sleepover and someone is left out and knows they have been left out when photos are posted. Or as we have found "friends" taking photos of your child in an embarrassing pose and posting them on instagram. It helps having an older sibling telling the offender to delete said photo.

    I'm not above taking devices to work and locking them in a filing cabinet until things blow over.

    My DS has really only used Facebook group chats for collaborative efforts with school assignments, but chats to friends on skype while they all play the same game online.

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  5. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    How is she "glam-ed up"??? Seriously you can see her torso and she's pulling back her hair. She's wearing nail polish? Is that why?

    Your very post and the language you use says to me that you are imposing your own assumptions on this photo.

    I would probably find it very confronting if one of my girls posted something like this but I'd have to think very carefully before I accused her of doing it for the reasons you identify.
    Manicured hair
    Nail polish that matches 'leotard'
    Jewelry
    Hair pulled back
    Face out of view
    Straps of something on arms

    It all adds up to a picture of provocativeness.

    My assessment would be very different if there was a picture of a gymnast exercising in her leotard. This is not an athletic pose by any means.

    I'm not saying it's all about being provocative. Chances are there was another slant to the intention behind the photo as well - artistic, creative etc. To deny provocativeness as one of the factors behind the photo though IMO would be to deny the truth. 13 year olds have raging hormones. Hormones + social media = eeek!

  6. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by SSecret Squirrel View Post
    In my experience it becomes essential in their mind when everyone else is and they start to feel left out. Usually around final year of primary, definitely by first year of highschool.

    It does become a social outlet for them and the preferred method of keeping in touch with friends outside school. My 15 year old has only recently signed up to Facebook and mainly uses it for group chats. She has had instagram for longer.

    The downside is when there has been a party / sleepover and someone is left out and knows they have been left out when photos are posted. Or as we have found "friends" taking photos of your child in an embarrassing pose and posting them on instagram. It helps having an older sibling telling the offender to delete said photo.

    I'm not above taking devices to work and locking them in a filing cabinet until things blow over.

    My DS has really only used Facebook group chats for collaborative efforts with school assignments, but chats to friends on skype while they all play the same game online.
    Yes I can see how the FOMO element becomes all encompassing for a tween. I guess it's all ahead of us.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I think the framing of this image is most likely at least partially provocative. However I'm making that assessment not through adult eyes. I'm thinking back to when I was a 13 year old and looking at the photo from that perspective. All I can say is thank god I'm old and social media wasn't around when I was 13.
    FWIW I asked my 15 year old what she thought of the photo. She rolled her eyes and said it was nothing, which I knew what she would say. She has girls in her grade posting shots wearing skimpy tops deliberately pushing boobs together and leaning forward and taking a cleavage shot, other provocative poses, photos modelling new bras for everyone to see and the list goes on.

    I know that stating that there is worse out there, therefore this is not bad is a weak argument, but unfortunately it is becoming the norm amongst teenage girls.

  8. #26
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    I don't find anything wrong at all with this pic and sm is part of the world we live in, our kids need to be schooled in it. Subbing.

  9. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Renn View Post
    Honestly, for a mature 13 year old, I'd be fine with that picture. She absolutely has a point. I understand why it may make you uncomfortable, but it's her body. Suggesting that it's an inappropriate image reinforces the idea that female bodies are always sexual, and girls should be ashamed of expressing sexuality.
    Mm...I actually do sit in this camp quite a lot and this is I think why am struggling with where the line is for her...and me and her dad. I grew up so ashamed of my physique as a young lady and teen, even though I was a high level swimmer and in great shape, I was so uncomfortable in my skin. I'm glad she has such confidence.

  10. #28
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    Default Social media and teens

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaybaby View Post
    Mm...I actually do sit in this camp quite a lot and this is I think why am struggling with where the line is for her...and me and her dad. I grew up so ashamed of my physique as a young lady and teen, even though I was a high level swimmer and in great shape, I was so uncomfortable in my skin. I'm glad she has such confidence.
    Double post.

  11. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaybaby View Post
    Mm...I actually do sit in this camp quite a lot and this is I think why am struggling with where the line is for her...and me and her dad. I grew up so ashamed of my physique as a young lady and teen, even though I was a high level swimmer and in great shape, I was so uncomfortable in my skin. I'm glad she has such confidence.
    What do you take issue with in this pic? It's a photo of her back in her bathers.

  12. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Manicured hair
    Nail polish that matches 'leotard'
    Jewelry
    Hair pulled back
    Face out of view
    Straps of something on arms

    It all adds up to a picture of provocativeness.

    !
    Hmm whilst I don't deny there is certainly an air of provocativeness about the photo, if it's judged on the list above it is accidental...

    Her hair is completely natural..unbrushed and about to be put in a bun for Cali.
    Nails matching leo is coincidental.
    She wears very little jewelry other than stud earrings and my old high school ring.
    Her face is in view in the original. .but I have covered it with a bandaid ☺. In the original she is looking at her phone - neutral expression.
    The black bands are hair lackies. ..for the bun.

    I see what you are saying, but those thongs are all everyday things...
    Last edited by Kaybaby; 27-03-2016 at 23:10.


 

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