+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 17 FirstFirst 123412 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 163
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    873
    Thanks
    154
    Thanked
    300
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    My 12yr old can not post a pic without my approval first, and can not be friends with people she doesn't know irl.

    Before creating the account we had a long talk about- even though you are beautiful and you have a body to be very proud of (she is a dancer, and puts a lot of time and effort into it) once something is posted it is no longer yours, people can do what they want with it. I also emphasized the fact there were to be no sexualised pics, I know this can be an awkward conversation- but if their using social media it's one they need to understand, as this is not the age to be doing that and as a female there are always better ways to be seen and to get attention.
    These are conversation that are always on going, I don't have any issues with DD but I feel like I always need to be on top of it, as some of the pics I see posted by her peers not only petrify me but really sadden me. So I don't think it's a conversation you have and solve the issue. Rather something that links into chats about self esteem, confidence, boys, s*x etc

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to sparklebug For This Useful Post:

    PomPoms  (27-03-2016)

  3. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    291
    Thanks
    62
    Thanked
    63
    Reviews
    0
    My kids are not on FB yet but when they are interested I'll be monitering their accounts like you wouldn't believe.

  4. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    10,495
    Thanks
    1,430
    Thanked
    9,003
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/10/14100 Posts in a week
    I have an almost 11 year old so am really curious about this.

    When is social media "essential" for a girl? I don't want her on it until she's 15. I really struggle with this as she badgers us all the time wanting to know when we'll allow it. She has friends who already have Instagram.

    I'm not on Facebook or anything other than BH so I don't see why she needs it. I know she'll wear me down though.

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Sonja For This Useful Post:

    A-Squared  (28-03-2016),misho  (28-03-2016)

  6. #14
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    1,391
    Thanks
    812
    Thanked
    688
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I don't think there's anything wrong with that image TBH. It's not a sexual image. She's not in lingerie or nude. She's not posing in a sexual way.
    I totally agree with Renn above. By telling her that this image is inappropriate you are basically telling her that it is ok for men to objectify her and that that is her problem.
    I assume she wears this leotard outside of her house where people can see her. I also assume she wears a bathing suit when she goes to the beach. What's the difference? There is nothing more on show here.

    I think it's great that she is confident and proud of her body.

  7. #15
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week

    Default Social media and teens

    Quote Originally Posted by Renn View Post
    Honestly, for a mature 13 year old, I'd be fine with that picture. She absolutely has a point. I understand why it may make you uncomfortable, but it's her body. Suggesting that it's an inappropriate image reinforces the idea that female bodies are always sexual, and girls should be ashamed of expressing sexuality.
    .
    I have to say I have a polar opposite view. I would have to question why a 13 year old would feel the need to post such (IMO provocative) photos of herself on social media. I can't think of a mature reason. At best it's a case of the child placing too much value on physical appearances - something which can damage self esteem and bite you in the backside down the track. At worst it's a case of the child wanting to impress dudes and nab a boyfriend with her body.

    I would be worried about her posting the heap of other (non leotard) photos . She is only 13! 13 year olds do not have the life experience, maturity or critical thinking skills to know when they are being knobs let alone when they are doing something that potentially puts their life at risk. The human brain doesn't fully mature until it's 27. She's 13. 13 and posting decorative (not functional - that's the key!) photos of herself in leotards online.

    Where to from here? I'm not sure. I don't mean to sound narky however IMO your child has already been allowed far too much freedom online. If you wind back now it's going to be a very difficult thing to manage. If it were me I would double check her privacy settings and go through her friends list with a fine tooth comb. I would get rid of the smart phone and let her use a computer in a family area only.

    That's me though - I've seen too many cases of naive young girls being duped and taken advantage of by older dudes.
    Last edited by VicPark; 27-03-2016 at 22:12.

  8. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    BlondeinBrisvegas  (29-03-2016),LaDiDah  (28-03-2016),misho  (28-03-2016),Ra Ra Superstar  (28-03-2016),SoThisIsLove  (28-03-2016)

  9. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    10,495
    Thanks
    1,430
    Thanked
    9,003
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I have to say I have a polar opposite view. I would have to question why a 13 year old would feel the need to post such (IMO provocative) photos of herself on social media. I can't think of a mature reason. At best it's a case of the child placing too much value on physical appearances - something which can damage self esteem and bite you in the backside down the track. At worst it's a case of the child wanting to impress dudes and nab a boyfriend with her body.
    Wow that's a bit harsh. Why does pride have to be such a double edged sword?

    VP we have locked horns over this issue for years now, since you first had issued with toddlers wearing bikinis. Kids (even teenagers) are not sexualising themselves it's the adults who view those photos with that intent that are doing that.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to Sonja For This Useful Post:

    BettyW  (28-03-2016)

  11. #17
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    2,612
    Thanks
    2,724
    Thanked
    864
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    For me it is sticking to whatever boundaries you have negotiated with her.

    My DD (yr 6) has Instagram as does a good number of her friends in her class.

    Our rules are....she doesn't know her password.
    She has her profile set to private.
    She only allows people to follow her that she knows in real life.
    She knows I read her messages and I can see all her pictures.
    Her Dad has told her she can not put pictures with her face on.
    Her Dad also says no pictures of the house.

    So far she has uploaded screen shots of her Sims games, Clash of Clans, her nails, earrings and her cat. She has a couple of her on there but has put a big cartoon picture over her face.

    I don't have an issue with the picture your DD has put up, but that is me. I guess you need to sit down and talk with her about what your expectations are and try and come to a happy medium of what you are content with and what she is.

  12. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to PomPoms For This Useful Post:

    LaDiDah  (28-03-2016),Wise Enough  (28-03-2016)

  13. #18
    harvs's Avatar
    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    9,996
    Thanks
    6,239
    Thanked
    15,892
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/4/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 2/4/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 19/3/15Busiest Member of the Week200 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I have to say I have a polar opposite view. I would have to question why a 13 year old would feel the need to post such (IMO provocative) photos of herself on social media. I can't think of a mature reason. At best it's a case of the child placing too much value on physical appearances - something which can damage self esteem and bite you in the backside down the track. At worst it's a case of the child wanting to impress dudes and nab a boyfriend with her body.
    While I said earlier in this thread that I find the framing of this image to be potentially provocative, I agree with @Sonja that we tend to view these things through our adult eyes. I'm actually second guessing myself now as well.

    On reading some other replies here, I have been reflecting and I do think there's another angle, which is that this may be a similar type of photograph to what her peers would post. That's why I think it's important to have regular conversations about media, perception vs intent, peer pressure, tuning in to your body's internal warning bells etc.

    Kind of like the analogy that boys (yes I know it can be girls too) that access porn at a young age often have a totally different expectation of what sex should/can be, maybe? Maybe girls think this is what makes a good/arty/interesting photograph?

    I'm choosing my words very carefully because I don't wish to be insulting to OP and I'm not meaning to imply any intent - it's just got me thinking generally about some pictures that I've seen on social media - so I'm not 100% that I'm making sense.

    All I know is I did some more reading about Carly Ryan after posting earlier and saw the photographs she had on some of her personal pages and...well, it's all terrifying to me to be honest.

  14. #19
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Wow that's a bit harsh. Why does pride have to be such a double edged sword?

    VP we have locked horns over this issue for years now, since you first had issued with toddlers wearing bikinis. Kids (even teenagers) are not sexualising themselves it's the adults who view those photos with that intent that are doing that.
    All nice in theory however in practical terms it doesn't matter what the intention of the sender is. It's the intent and capability of the recipient that determines the threat.

    That being said I find it difficult to believe there is zero intent by a 13 year old to sexualise herself when posting a glam-ed up photo of herself in a leotard. Its a show thing not a functional (athletic) thing.

    I still stand by my views from a few years back that bikinis on kids are in them-self sexualising of kids. What other valid reason is there for wearing something thing that only covers the genitals and breast region.

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    LaDiDah  (28-03-2016)

  16. #20
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week

    Default Social media and teens

    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    While I said earlier in this thread that I find the framing of this image to be potentially provocative, I agree with @Sonja that we tend to view these things through our adult eyes. I'm actually second guessing myself now as well.
    .
    I think the framing of this image is most likely at least partially provocative. However I'm making that assessment not through adult eyes. I'm thinking back to when I was a 13 year old and looking at the photo from that perspective. All I can say is thank god I'm old and social media wasn't around when I was 13.


 

Similar Threads

  1. what social media do you use? and how much?
    By BH-KatiesMum in forum General Chat
    Replies: 41
    Last Post: 23-03-2016, 12:28
  2. Anyone with ASD teens?
    By monnie24 in forum General Chat
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 24-07-2015, 21:13

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Springfree Trampoline
Give the Ultimate Christmas Gift Springfree Trampoline
The World's Safest Trampoline™ is now also the world's first Smart Trampoline™. Sensors on the mat detect your every move and your jumps control fun, educational and active games on tablet. Secure the Ultimate Christmas Gift today!
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
Einsteinz Music
Fun & interactive music classes!
Classes are taught by professional musicians! Children are taught the fundamentals of music: beat, pitch, rhythm and tempo through hands-on experience. Click for more details!!!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!