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  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I can't understand this. You know there are dirty prevent characters on BH trying to get their rocks off and you feel comfortable posting scantily clad photos of your child on here? I mean of course perves will be perves but they wouldn't have access to your kids photos if you didn't post them.
    Its not something I lose sleep about, no. She is not "scantily clad" which implies partial nudity or lingerie- she is wearing legitimate clothing - swimwear and leotard - and would wear it walking down the street, has performed in shopping centres in it, and wears in public settings every other day..where, no doubt, sickos, and pervy old and young men and paedophiles have had a gawk and could take photos if they wish. I'm am not going to lose sleep on that..not a bit, and I'm sure as heck not going to make my child "cover up" to prevent it...not a path i am prepared to go down. It is a freedom we all deserve.

    I have covered her face for privacy....if some weirdo feels the need to use the photos and connect dots and track down her true identity, then they probably could - but it is a strech, and I'll leave them to it....

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  3. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaybaby View Post
    Its not something I lose sleep about, no. She is not "scantily clad" which implies partial nudity or lingerie- she is wearing legitimate clothing - swimwear and leotard - and would wear it walking down the street, has performed in shopping centres in it, and wears in public settings every other day..where, no doubt, sickos, and pervy old and young men and paedophiles have had a gawk and could take photos if they wish. I'm am not going to lose sleep on that..not a bit, and I'm sure as heck not going to make my child "cover up" to prevent it...not a path i am prepared to go down. It is a freedom we all deserve.

    I have covered her face for privacy....if some weirdo feels the need to use the photos and connect dots and track down her true identity, then they probably could - but it is a strech, and I'll leave them to it....
    I'm legitimately confused, in your original post you said...

    "Looking for tips and advice with regards to helping young teens navigate social media, and in particular, how to help a young girl understand why it's not appropriate to post photos of herself on the likes of Instagram that are (I believe) inappropriate or send the wrong message."

    If you don't have issue with what you say in the part I quoted at the top, what is the concern? How do they send the wrong message if you aren't worried about sicko' pervy men or paedophiles?

    Who do they send the wrong message to? And what message?

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  5. #103
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    @A-Squared OP elaborated later on that she is mostly worried about the impact within her daughter's peer group and school community or getting a 'reputation', being gossiped about etc.

  6. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    @A-Squared OP elaborated later on that she is mostly worried about the impact within her daughter's peer group and school community or getting a 'reputation', being gossiped about etc.
    This. I'm not concerned with paedos - I will look within my own home for them - trust me - I know all about that....

    I am concerned about social impact locally, and also, the reason behind the posting of such images - is it to make herself feel good, does she feel that looking "sexy" or sending a message that is provocative will help her be more popular among her peers, how is that tied up with self esteem, does she value looks over intelligence (she is a high acaedemic achiever)...all of that "stuff".

    Some of it is of course protective - I feel uncomfortable with provocative photos of my DD being posted amongst her peers group - I dont want boys to think she is an easy mark, i don't want a future BF to value her looks over her other, more important features, but of course kids dont post their test results online!

  7. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    @A-Squared OP elaborated later on that she is mostly worried about the impact within her daughter's peer group and school community or getting a 'reputation', being gossiped about etc.
    Thanks, I must have missed that part.

    I think the same issues are at play whether the concerns are predators or a 'reputation' etc, the images are either too provocative or they're not.

    I think they are in both regards. Maybe because I lived a sheltered life and I only learnt what a period was when I was 12, at 13 I wasn't into hair and make up and fashion etc. most kids my age weren't either. Fashion was who had the coolest coloured Adidas Wincheeter. So seeing a child of that age posing as she was and dressed as she was, as innocent as her intention, the reality is this is not a suitable photograph for a 13 year old to be putting on the Internet. The second two images were slightly better in that she was doing her calisthenics but it was still not in a class, competitive or performance setting.

    I for one envy her passion for a sport at that age - I've been clumsy my entire life! Haha.

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  9. #106
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    My thoughts on this, having a tween and also friends with teenagers is that we cannot keep comparing what it was like when we were teenagers.

    Unless anyone on here is early 20s then honestly it is so different now you can't really make comparisons between how we grew up and how girls these days do.

    The way they live through social media is frightening because it's so foreign to me. I'm struggling with this at the moment as I'm not sure whether the right approach is to make sure they know what they're doing and arm them with the best information available or tell them no way you can't do it and that's the end of it.

    Both have advantages and disadvantages. For every kid that attracts creeps and weirdos there are 100 that don't. Some times it's the harmless stuff that causes problems.

    It's a hard one and I'm not sure how well I'll go when we come to working it out.

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  11. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaybaby View Post

    Some of it is of course protective - I feel uncomfortable with provocative photos of my DD being posted amongst her peers group - I dont want boys to think she is an easy mark, i don't want a future BF to value her looks over her other, more important features, but of course kids dont post their test results online!
    Do you feel the original photo in this thread is provocative?

  12. #108
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    Default Social media and teens

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaybaby View Post
    . She is not "scantily clad" which implies partial nudity or lingerie- she is wearing legitimate clothing - swimwear and leotard - and would wear it walking down the street, has performed in shopping centres in it, and wears in public settings every other day....
    I must be an old Gary. In my world your daughter is scantily clad. Although you say she is wearing 'legitimate' clothing it's not in a 'legitimate setting (sporting etc). Its in front of the mirror with manicured hair and nails - later posted on line. It's the same as myself posting a photo of myself wearing a bikini in woolies and saying "hey, it's a legitimate piece of clothing."

    I have been at public adult centric events where children (from 5 to 18) have been dressed in leotards and heavy make up and I'm sorry I just shudder.

    I believe there was a look-at-me aspect to your daughters photo. Which, as a 13 year old, is concerning for a whole range of reasons.

    I think we're going to have to agree to disagree on this.

    Best of luck with your dd.

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  14. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I believe there was a look-at-me aspect to your daughters photo. Which, as a 13 year old, is concerning for a whole range of reasons.
    Well, yes, that's a huge aspect of social media. Of course parents will worry about that, but the reality is that it's a part of their world.

    There's an "I want to look pretty/girly" aspect to my 3 year old's obsession with dresses. I hate it...absolutely despise the fact that our society focuses on separating children in such a gendered way and that she's beginning to buy into it. Of course I encourage well-rounded interests, and talk about what things I think are valuable. There's a big difference between that though, and banning her from, or judging her for, wearing dresses.

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  16. #110
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    Default Social media and teens

    There is no reason for being concerned that a 13 year old girl wants to be looked at. This is the world they inhabit now.

    VicPark you hit the nail of the head. You are an old Gary.

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