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  1. #91
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    IMO I don't think the picture was that bad, there are many worse photos out there. Like the OP has said pervs will be pervs. She obviously has a good relationship with her daughter, she is friends with her on the social media pages so is aware of what is being posted.

    OP, I am not sure what her settings are like on social media but it could be worth checking and making sure that perhaps they are set to private so that on her friends can see what she is posting? I know that doesn't change what she is posting but at least you will know exactly who can and can't see it.

    Also we are all only really seeing half the post, I think also the 'caption' or the hashtags to the image will provide more context to the picture - sometimes those things sway which was a photo is perceived / interpreted by friends / family etc

    Such a hard one with social media these days. I would just keep an eye on her accounts and keep communicating with her and making her aware of the perceptions images can have - you sound like you are doing a great job so far!

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  3. #92
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    I'm a mum of an 18 yr old DD who has Instagram and FB and honestly the photos to me are harmless. I've seen a lot worse !

    To me the photos aren't sexual or provocative . But each to their own

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  5. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    I think the photos in itself are fine...I guess my only concern would be why is she posting them? For the amount of likes she gets? For the comments telling her how fit/beautiful she is? I don't think there's anything about them that could cause bullying as such...your daughter is very fit and athletic, and showing off her sport. But it's the reasons behind her wanting to post the photos that would concern me? My views are probably a bit skewed...I have a cousin (in her early 20's) who posts similar photos...and does it for the attention that the photo gives her. She never posts anything 'less than perfect' and posts photos of herself posing in a lot of different positions in outfits similar to your daughters. My cousin is a dancer, so whilst it could be argued that she is posting the photos to show off her sport, she's not. She'll get up before dawn and go to an exotic looking location ( sometimes with an equally athletic man and pose together )- for nothing more than social media attention and gratification that she is indeed, fit and worthy of being looked at. Lots of likes and comments about how amazing her body is warrants her photo to be either her profile or cover photo...until the next 'look at me' photo shoot.
    In no way am I saying that your daughter is doing this...but I guess I'd be continuing to talk to her about these issues that can come up...it's what bothers me the most about Instagram - that it can become such a chase for the perfect photo to upload, and people then wait for validation that their photo is, indeed, one of beauty and perfection.
    Yes all of this - my DD and I watched a great ABC doco on Body Obsession the other night.

    http://iview.abc.net.au/programs/hac.../DO1517H001S00

    Worth a look

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  7. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by DarcyJ View Post
    If you were to tell the OPs daughter that her photo was inappropriate because boys might want to have sex with her, I think you'd be giving the wrong message. When you say that it's not ok to post these photos on Facebook you're basically telling her that all boys will see is her body.
    You must have misunderstood. Or I haven't been clear. For me it's not about boys wanting to have s&x with her. I would have a conversation with my daughter saying that I am worried she is focused so much on appearances, attention and approval - from boys and/or girls. To me that is the aspect that poses the most imminent danger to her well being.

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  9. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaybaby View Post
    . I truly dont lose any sleep about them looking at pictures of my kids. They will be dirty perves and peds regardless of what me and my children do.
    I can't understand this. You know there are dirty prevent characters on BH trying to get their rocks off and you feel comfortable posting scantily clad photos of your child on here? I mean of course perves will be perves but they wouldn't have access to your kids photos if you didn't post them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DarcyJ View Post
    If you were to tell the OPs daughter that her photo was inappropriate because boys might want to have sex with her, I think you'd be giving the wrong message. When you say that it's not ok to post these photos on Facebook you're basically telling her that all boys will see is her body. Kind of the opposite of what you want IMO.

    This photo doesn't determine her value. It is just a nice photo and she obviously thought it looked good and wanted to share it. If people can't see past that to her personality and all the other things that make her awesome, that is not her problem.
    You are right, this photo doesn't determine her value...but I would worry as to why she thought to take the photo in the first place...did she think 'wow, me doing my hair in my leotard will look arty...or did she think 'I look really good in this photo, I wonder how many comments and likes I'll get if I take it and share it.' That would be what I would be wanting to determine.

  12. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I can't understand this. You know there are dirty prevent characters on BH trying to get their rocks off and you feel comfortable posting scantily clad photos of your child on here? I mean of course perves will be perves but they wouldn't have access to your kids photos if you didn't post them.
    Actually, not all of us choose to automatically equate someone who works as an escort (and therefore judged by you to be a 'dirty perve') with paedophilia.

    It's one of those risk assessment things. I do understand it. We all lose sleep at night worrying about things that can happen to our child. That doesn't mean we lose sleep over the same things. I worry most about DS choking and drowning. Some people worry about terrorist attacks. Others worry about exposure to toxins.

    Obviously I would prefer that strangers on the Internet don't access photos of my son for their own nefarious cravings, but I can 100% tell you that I don't lose sleep over it. If it happens, well he won't know and I won't know.

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    Thanks Kaybaby,
    I'll watch it tonight. 😀

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    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    I'm wondering what people's opinions on these pics would be if it were a boy in the pictures instead of a girl?
    I would think the same, as I stated in my first post. The number of sexual predators preying on teenage boys are obviously less, but it still has the same ramifications, especially with potential employers.

    I think it's equally important to teach our boys that they are more than just the sport they play and the fit athlete c bodies that go with it.

    This isn't a male vs female debate. Both genders can post sexually driven (or perceived) images and both have the same potential ramifications.

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  17. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    I would think the same, as I stated in my first post. The number of sexual predators preying on teenage boys are obviously less, but it still has the same ramifications, especially with potential employers.

    I think it's equally important to teach our boys that they are more than just the sport they play and the fit athlete c bodies that go with it.

    This isn't a male vs female debate. Both genders can post sexually driven (or perceived) images and both have the same potential ramifications.
    I agree with you. Only bit I'm not sure about is, predators preying on boys as less. I wasn't suggesting it was male vs female, only that I think there are possibly different standards we set for boys and girls.


 

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