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  1. #1
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    Default 5 year old girl no respect for family

    Need advice please,

    5 y/o dd started prep this year. We're told she is an angel in class and was in kindergarten too.

    However, she talks to myself and DH and her sister with such attitude.

    Example today she hurt herself at park, I went over to see if she was ok and smiling I said "up you get dd"
    She absolutely screamed in my face "DONT YOU LAUGH AT ME" I was so shocked and embarassed. There were so many people watching. I just said "I wasn't laughing. I was smiling. Now up you get its time to go"

    Playing outside I could hear her say she was going to ask for an ice cream from neighbour I said no she ignored me and went ahead and asked.

    She doesn't understand "no" and will just nag and nag constantly

    I asked her to put her water bottle in the sink tonight and she screamed at me "IM DOING IT". It's like having a teenager in the house?!

    She is mean to her sister all the time. For example, after school pick up 3 yo dd is so excited to see her big sister but 5yo dd straight away yells at her or tells her to go away.

    I've tried explaining that she hurts our feelings and also told her off, confiscated her favourite toys for her behaviour but still it continues..

    DH has always been pro smack and I am against smacking so we have never smacked our kids. Now he is saying she doesn't respect us because of this decision.

    Any advice on how to deal with this attitude?

  2. #2
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    I think it's fairly normal. The park thing and the drink bottle thing seem very normal. If I hurt myself and my mum smiled I would be cross too (that's not a judgment, I have been known to laugh when my kids hurt themselves in amusing ways).

    The being mean to her sister thing is a big issue that I think needs attention. I have the rule that DD1 (who is 4) is always allowed to be alone in her room. Any other time her sister is allowed to be there. Can you make her room a safe zone just for her and when she's outside of there she must be nice to her sister?

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  4. #3
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    The park think: I think she was embarressed and hurt ( as in feelings) when you smiled at her. She didn't understand you were only smiling to make her feel better (?) so she reacted the way she did. My son does this, then I explain myself calmly and see if he's alright.

    Perhaps she's overwhelmed when she gets home from school?

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  6. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Homeschooling4 View Post
    The park think: I think she was embarressed and hurt ( as in feelings) when you smiled at her. She didn't understand you were only smiling to make her feel better (?) so she reacted the way she did. My son does this, then I explain myself calmly and see if he's alright.

    Perhaps she's overwhelmed when she gets home from school?
    This for the park thing. DS is only 3 but does the same thing when he is hurt/embarrassed. I need to make sure I keep a straight face or he gets more upset and says the same thing of 'don't laugh at me!' then lashes out.

    I would say pretty normal. My niece is the same age and my brother has said she is similar.

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    yadot  (26-03-2016)

  8. #5
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    Sounds normal. The only thing I've found to help is to try to focus on how the child's feeling, however unreasonable you think it might be. e.g. "I'm sorry you thought I was laughing at you. You sound so hurt. I was trying to help you feel better. What would you like me to do next time?"

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  10. #6
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    A friend and I were just saying the other day how our daughters have developed so much attitude lately! My DD is the same, a sweet angel at school, and then has a teenagers attitude at home. Honestly though I prefer it this way, I would rather her be good at school. I just refuse to acknowledge her when she has the attitude, or send her for a timeout till she is ready to talk to me with respect.

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  12. #7
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    While I agree this is pretty normal behaviour, I would keeping on explaining to her that how her actions hurt people's feelings.
    My DD is older but used to crack it at DS after school when he tries to say something to her and she's talking about her day, I had been explaining for what felt like for ever that she needs to acknowledge him because he has been counting down the hours to see her and it's just mean. This is something I will not be flexible on.
    I believe one of the reasons children behave better at school is because it's so consistent, action a leads to consequence b, it never changes, try the same at home yelling at mum hurts mums feelings so you lose tv time/iPad/go to bed 15 mins early etc what ever works, and stick to it for a while even if it doesn't seem to working. Girls are hard work

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  14. #8
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    My DD is 3 but she behaves like this as well. When she is with other people she behaves well mostly but at home with just DH and I there is so much attitude, it's unbelievable. I knew having a girl we would eventually have to deal with the teenage attitude I just didn't think it would start so early. She won't listen to the word no, will scream in my face, cries at the drop of a hat. We're about to have our second and I'm dreading her taking her attitude out on her little sister in the future. Sorry I have no advice OP but just letting you know you're not alone!

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  16. #9
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    Has it just been since starting school?
    Kids tend to think they are just 'too awesome' after they start school.
    They generally settle after a while. Just continue with picking her up on it.

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    Just a thought re: behaviour towards her little sister.. Have you got any of the books "have you filled your bucket today?" It might be a good way of having the conversation about talking nicely to people and doing nice things. At 5 I'm confident she would grasp the concept of 'filling' her sister's bucket not 'emptying' it

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