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  1. #581
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    oh no @rockalee so sorry to hear about the extra stress from your DP. that's not good. true, none of us would choose to do it this way if we had the choice. could he/you both go see the counselor to talk about his concerns (or talk about it yourselves once your meds have worn off & head is clearer). it might help to talk about it. or to talk with a friend. it's more common than people talk about if that helps him. my DP seemed to appreciate it all more once he found out his previous boss/mentor had gone through it also (+ a group of my friends, but he noticed it more when it was another guy)

    in other news, congrats on 4 eggs! that's a great result. for a good fert rate tomorrow.

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  3. #582
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    oh god thats awful @rockalee. You poor thing. Did it come out of the blue or have you been worried about him thinking that way for a while? Maybe he just got drunk and then started stressing about it, its no bloody excuse for putting you in that situation the night before EPU. Like you need any stress added on top of things. 4 eggs is fine, and I hope you get good news tomorrow about fertilisation. Sometimes I think the guys don't know how to cope and they panic and do or say something stupid because they are panicking. How has he been today? Its definitely a big stress on relationships the whole infertility thing. i hope everything is ok, but most importantly hope YOU are ok..

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  5. #583
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    Thanks @winsor and @tuxcat. He's had doubts but I thought we had worked through it. Five hours before EPU is NOT the time. A counsellor is definitely in order. His brother and sister-in-law just had twin IVF bubbas so he knows people who have. It's just all too much. It took me three years to get him to the point of IVF - it's all just so upsetting that now we're here it's so much harder than it needs to be.

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  7. #584
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    @rockalee, I'm going to send you a big congratulations and also a big hug hon

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  9. #585
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blossom74 View Post
    @rockalee, I'm going to send you a big congratulations and also a big hug hon
    Thank you @Blossom74. You guys are all so awesome and supportive. Wish I had found you a long time ago!

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  11. #586
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    @rockalee how traumatic for you!
    As if it's not stressful enough without having him freak out. If the roles were reversed in IVF I think the industry would of gone bust years ago- not many men would go through what we do over and over!
    I hope he realises what an a-hole he was, my DP also unsupportive during the process so I source my support from friends/mum and bubhub!
    Good luck for your update tomorrow X

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  13. #587
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    @calypso75 its actually a stupid gvmt change that you need to purchase them from a chemist ao they grab an extra tax the clinics dont have a choice.

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  15. #588
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    I know im being cynical but i dont think the ivf costs have gone down except you pay the gvmt tax now.

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  17. #589
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    @rockalee oh hon im so sorry that dp dropped his bundle. I hope you can both find a way through it. Fx for fertilisation results tomorrow. The whole ivf journey messes you up if you ask me its the toughest of all things to face in a marriage its a relentless grief combined with hope addiction that consumes you. Rest and regroup. Sending hugs to you both.

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  19. #590
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockalee View Post
    @infinity888. EPU was ok, thanks for asking. Only 4 eggs - find out tomorrow how we go. I'm really crampy now. And apologies everyone but I need to have a rant at someone ... My (not so darling) DP is being a complete a*rse. He got cold feet last night and wanted to pull the plug on the whole thing. At 2am. After numerous beers. Which I didn't know he was drinking because I went to bed early to be well rested for today. I spent nearly four hours trying to talk him down off the ledge. To the point that I pulled the "we're done if you do this". So I've had no sleep and woke up from the GA and burst into tears. Now I know I've been heaping the pressure on him for kids but that's my deal breaker. I even started looking at converting the EPU to an egg freeze and then just going my own way. He ended up coming in and giving his sample but under extreme duress. He's been to every doctor appointment and scan and all he's said this isn't ideal and not the way he wants to have kids, I know this. If I had my choice we wouldn't have to do this either. No one in their right mind would. I'm now just seeing how the fertilisation goes. The IVF stress may just be the breaking of us. It might just be easier and far less stressful to do it all on my own.
    Oh @rockalee that is so unbelievably stressful I don't know how you even pulled it together to get to EPU, you are incredible to have done what you did last night.

    Even though my DH has not been as extreme, I can empathize to some extent. Mine still has not taken a supplement ever, even after Wazza told him to. He went to one appointment ever & was not there for any of my scans that all turned out to be missed miscarriages & I was there heartbroken all on my own. At times he has been so blatantly unsupportive that I have thought more than once about leaving & doing it in my own.

    I hope you can sort it out because to load that on you hours before transfer is so far out of line it is ridiculous. How would he feel if he'd been through the injections & hormones & scans & everything we go through to have you pull the pin at the last minute with a drunken tanty? So not on.

    My DH has often managed to get plastered right before ovulation too & I always wonder about the quality of drunk sperm :-(

    Good on you for making it happen today though, I'm so pleased that you got four eggs & are in with a good chance - but I'm sure you've got a lot on your mind & can hardly focus on that at the moment. Good luck hon xxxxx

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