I agree with infinity @winsor. You have been through a huge ordeal losing little Gracie. I am not surprised that the process of looking for a donor is upsetting for you. Please don't close any doors yet. Keep the OE cycle open as Summer said there are FS's out there who will do it. If you are comfortable keep looking at both the local and OS donors too. But don't pressure yourself to make a decision. Remember you're just looking. If none are suitable then perhaps your perfect match is just another week away. Don't forget about the epigenetic influence too. There's a photo on the SA thread someone recently put up of their DE baby and own baby photo. It's astonishing really. I have a link to another one too but I am hesitant to put it up (it's for another site and I don't like to do it without permission) but this lady had a donor that she had never seen (no photos even as a baby) but her DE babies are mini me's of her.