@BiB I'm glad your ex has moved out now. I hope you get a break from that part of the stress over past few months. xx
@Summer good luck with your next move/prep work
Hi everyone I'm trying to keep up!
@infinity888 I hope everything went well today and the drugs kicked in for you!
@faithandhopellove it will be bittersweet to see both your bubbas today. Such a difficult thing to deal with and you are doing so amazingly well to be so strong and to be moving through this the way you are. Hoping you get lots of clear pics today and get to see big bubba moving around and saying hello.
@winsor I know exactly what you mean. Out of five babies naturally conceived, why couldn't one of mine stayed? Just one... I've had to do a lot of grieving over not having my own biological child and it still breaks my heart. I think it's one of things that will always be there as a grief and loss, but that's not to say that you can't love and celebrate a DE baby. I feel both emotions and believe I always will and I'm OK with that.
@BlondeinBrisvegas I'm glad that things are finally sorted and DP moved out. It's shame that he had to regress to his worst and put a nail in the coffin of amicable separation and counseling to facilitate co-parenting and resolve some issues - but if his true colours have shown and made it a clear path forward for you, then that is a good thing.
@Blossom74 I think I am slowly closing the door on that one last OE cycle. I just don't want to do it. Every cell in my body just begs me not to go there, but I'm still battling a little bit with the "what if". The reality is that I've only ever fallen pregnant naturally, and if after three medicated cycles and four full stim cycles on very high doses couldn't get me an egg, then it's unlikely that a low dose cycle will. I still have some yearning to try, but I've got a few weeks to decide that yet, so I'll have a good think over the next week or two and then make a decision.
I would have loved to have gone on to EDA myself, I actually did join but have never done a profile. Even though DH and I did want a known donor if possible, it would have to be someone we found through our own circles, as I don't want to put myself up on EDA mainly for privacy reasons. Although no-one here would probably know me unless you were in my work 'niche' field, in that niche I am a little bit known - so I would be really, really upset if someone who "knew" me online saw my private stuff on EDA and made it public. So that has really put me off doing anything like that and I even get a bit paranoid about putting my private stuff up on here even though it is anonymous. I'm kind of busting to be in proper contact with you girls, but am totally paranoid about my private self and public self being put together. Not that I have anything to hide, but what we discuss in here is SO personal!! So DE will either be my friend who offered out of the blue, or we'll go to SA and hope that the laws do change in the future as the donor that I chose (so far) said Yes to being contacted if they did change, and I would only choose a donor that said that.
@Blossom74 that is a great idea about the writing - I am actually a writer and have a book coming out later this year. It's been a five year on and off project and to be honest I will be glad to see the back of it. I love your idea about writing about your life, it sounds very interesting and biographies are one of my favourites to read! Go for it, you are a good writer and I'm sure it would come together beautifully. Let me know if you want a great editor - I have the absolute best, she's a legend :-)
Last edited by Summer; 31-03-2016 at 14:23.
The advertisement approval is only for Victorian as far as I'm aware. There is a section on EDA about "Advertising for Victorians" and the mandatory approval we have to go through. I am only twenty minutes from NSW - not fair! Anyway, it will happen when the time is right.
I can understand the pain of giving up on your OE hon. For me, I kind of felt it in my gut that it wasn't going to work for us last cycle, so was ready to consider DE by the time I got my BFN. I had already reconciled that in my mind and it made transition to thinking about DE much easier for me.
There is nothing to say you can't do one final OE cycle. And as far as money goes, well doing DE buys you time. So even if you do one last OE cycle and have nothing left, you have time to save for DE a year or two down the track. Just look at Sonya Kruegar - she's 50 and she had a DE baby not long ago. There is time to do both! Perhaps one more cycle will be enough for you to come to some level of acceptance about OE. Or perhaps it will work and the whole DE thing won't need to be considered!
I struggled with the whole 'outing myself' thing too. But in the end I wanted a baby more. So now I'm there on EDA for all to see - even our wedding pictures are up there! I told hubby "You know this is not private anymore, right?!" Most of my friends and colleagues still have no idea we're doing IVF and I figured the likelihood that they would be joining EDA was pretty remote, and if they did so it wouldn't be to spy on me - it would be so that they could donate/receive DE etc. So yeah, in the end I figured if anyone gives me grief about it then I just DGAF - our decision is ours and ours alone to make and their opinion doesn't mean anything to me so they can keep it to themselves!
I am happy to report that big Bubba is doing extremely well. The estimated weight was 1.3kg and all the measurements came in just over average. The amniotic fluid level measurement, which was a little high last time, has also come back to normal. Phew. Bub put on quite a performance and yawned, drank some amniotic fluid, practiced it's breathing, kicked and sucked it's fingers. The sonographer was struggling to get the measurements done with all that movement but I was thrilled.
Thanks for all the well wishes girls. I am so relieved.
great news Faith
@Summer the “outing” me part I struggled with too on EDA. Myself and DH both have a web presence for our careers (we’re not famous by any stretch!!) but it seemed tricky. Knowing what I know now, I know that you don’t have to share anything more on there than the basics, you can be under a similar anonymity as you are on BH really. you also don’t need to go to meet ups. So it might be worth while putting an ad up, people can pm you and your username can be anything. You can just use your first names or just use yours and refer to your partner, you don’t have to share much really. As @Bongley has been saying there are a few donors on the FB page (Im not on this either as my business is linked to mine and I don’t want to share all that) who would like to be anonymous but are struggling to find recipients apparently! So clearly the donors are lurking and sussing out people all the time, it can feel like there are hardly any around though but I guess its probably just a matter of time. Some people have found a donor in a couple of weeks, so it can happen! Oh and btw we have not mentioned our surnames at any stage on there either so you would have to be pretty lucky to trace us back to there. In the end I got over it and thought well so what if people knew, we wouldn’t be hiding that info from the child and people can say what they like, WTF cares!!
Great news @faithandhopellove
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