Yes please, I would be a very good candidate to review this product.
Reading your criteria, We seem to tick all the boxes!
I am a mum of 2 under 2, a 19 month tyrant who insists on playing with keys and therefore losing them on a daily basis! I lose everything these days, keys are typically the worst to lose, especially being packed up, ready to go and then locked in the house repeatedly asking Mr Tyrant where he's put them! I am also suffering from the common baby brain having an 8 week old, which is very unhelpful!
Edit: it won't let me send a PM?