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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Maybe he was annoyed about being asked to do things all the time.
    I thought the same thing.

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    I thought the same thing.
    Glad it wasn't just me then, that's just how I took it.

    If he wanted to take the kids to zoo etc, maybe he would've suggested it?

    I dunno. I guess because we don't have any help I don't expect things from others.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Glad it wasn't just me then, that's just how I took it.

    If he wanted to take the kids to zoo etc, maybe he would've suggested it?

    I dunno. I guess because we don't have any help I don't expect things from others.
    I would be highly offended at being told what to buy my own grandkids for xmas because their mother thought my taste in presents was offensive and it was junk. No way I'd help them move house after that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    I would be highly offended at being told what to buy my own grandkids for xmas because their mother thought my taste in presents was offensive and it was junk. No way I'd help them move house after that.
    I disagree, I would much rather buy my grandkids presents they actually want and would use, not to buy things they throw to the side and never use. But maybe he is overly sensitive and is annoyed. Even if that's the case, that's his issue, not yours.

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    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    I would be highly offended at being told what to buy my own grandkids for xmas because their mother thought my taste in presents was offensive and it was junk. No way I'd help them move house after that.
    To be fair, we can't assume the OP actually told her FIL that the presents were 'junk'.

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    I would follow your dh's lead. Sometimes you just cant force people to be a part of your life unfortunately, its his loss.
    As for the present thing i would be happy to be given a few ideas on gifts to buy because then i know the gift wont be wasted. Or if i had something else in mind i would let the parents know to see if the child would like it

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    Op do you guys invite FIL to do nice family things?
    I just wondered because your post seemed to be about asking them to take kids to the zoo, wanting them to help you move. You also mentioned always asking him to do things and he never does.
    Is it possible he's feeling like he's only important if he can help you?
    It may not be the case, but that could be his perception which might be making him annoyed.
    I know my own dad likes to be included in nice stuff like being invited over for a meal, or invited out for things as a whole family, as well as helping out.

    The reality is, if you care about the relationship you'll need to make the first move. Send a card. Say you miss him. Say you've heard you've been cut off and would like the chance to fix things and hear why he's upset. Extend the olive branch.

    We can speculate about what might be wrong but none of us know. Id make contact.

    If you don't want to improve things, don't do anything. But unfortunately it's likely to stay uncomfortable at best.

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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    I disagree, I would much rather buy my grandkids presents they actually want and would use, not to buy things they throw to the side and never use. But maybe he is overly sensitive and is annoyed. Even if that's the case, that's his issue, not yours.
    The op says "always asking them to do things" but they never get back

    Well if someone was always telling me what to do, asking me to take the grandkids to the zoo, telling me to give $20 instead of choosing my own present then I'd get pretty annoyed too. I don't think that's being over sensitive.

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    Default WWYD- fil cut us off/ignoring

    Not worth losing your relationship with your grandkids over
    Last edited by Olive Oil; 21-03-2016 at 22:24.

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    Quote Originally Posted by GucciDahling View Post
    Op do you guys invite FIL to do nice family things?
    I just wondered because your post seemed to be about asking them to take kids to the zoo, wanting them to help you move. You also mentioned always asking him to do things and he never does.
    Is it possible he's feeling like he's only important if he can help you?
    It may not be the case, but that could be his perception which might be making him annoyed.
    I know my own dad likes to be included in nice stuff like being invited over for a meal, or invited out for things as a whole family, as well as helping out.

    The reality is, if you care about the relationship you'll need to make the first move. Send a card. Say you miss him. Say you've heard you've been cut off and would like the chance to fix things and hear why he's upset. Extend the olive branch.

    We can speculate about what might be wrong but none of us know. Id make contact.

    If you don't want to improve things, don't do anything. But unfortunately it's likely to stay uncomfortable at best.
    Yes sorry I wrote what I said on my phone because I don't get much time on hub with kids not going childcare now I fall asleep when they do 😂 so sorry my OP might not of been fully 'worded clear'

    I used to meet him at markets for lunch etc, or we would goto the park. He's recently moved in with his gf of ten years and on Xmas day it was awkward because of a cat incident (he doesn't like cats she does) so maybe it's just that I'm not sure. But MIL said he would rather cut his nose off than figure it out and I should try and sneak back into his life. Like wtf!

    So before DH left we all had a nice family meal etc to celebrate DH getting a job and afterwards went to beach. FIL gave DH a computer and a Telstra dongle. JIC he had no computer and Internet for a long time.

    At Christmas he gave DH money for tyres and me money for a handbag and or whatever I like. (You see so I didn't see the kids present a big deal). SIL & MIL contributed to kids present as hubby hadn't had work for nearly two years and we wanted to get them balance bikes. FIL always shows 'love' with money. We aren't the favourites. He has lunch with sil and dinner 2 X a week. And that's ok but we do still try keep in contact. As sil doesn't have kids and doesn't really get on with DH or me either.

    Thanks for responses


 

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