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  1. #1
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    Default WWYD- fil cut us off/ignoring

    This will be long sorry.

    At Christmas I asked fil & his partner take kids to zoo they never did. Always asking them do things they say they will get back me etc never do. Unless it's to big note them self. Eg they bought car seats but the kids have never even been in them? Like why even buy them! At Christmas I asked if they could give $20 towards bikes instead of whatever they wanted because we wanted decent presents not Kmart junk eg 20 X $3 presents. I find it offensive. As kids don't play with it.

    As most know (who follow my posts anyway) know we have moved interstate again.

    DH left before us as we wanted to secure employment, then a house. (He already had the job but the probation)

    I then had to clean, fix, pack, look after kids on my own. Very tiring as most would know who have had to do this!! Army mums/Fifo mums or single mums! I saw most people but it was hard I was in a rush. Flustered etc. FIL Said he couldn't help at all but would catch up. He never did but had dinner with SIL. Mil minded kids so I could do a final clean. That night SIL went out with FIL (they are divorced). So I thought that was strange. Cos the kids weren't visited. (They are a close divorced family) we do xmas's etc).

    My FIL has proceeded to ignore us from Jan. We are now in Launceston. There's been a miscommunication. We have sent text messages.) been ignored. He isn't speaking to us. I sent a text last week saying hello blah blah.

    I can't drive. So when I was busy cleaning, packing etc. I was meant to get to his house 2 hours away. He told MIL he's cut us off. I'm hurt for DH. But was DS's second birthday and he didn't even call for that. Should I just leave it? Thanks.

  2. #2
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    Sorry he's such a a/hole. Some people were born that way. What does your dh think? I think it's up to him to say something to be honest.

    I wouldn't ask him to do anything else for the kids as you know what the result will be. My own parents are like this.. they think maybe once a year taking them for 2 hours is making it ok... well it's not and i'm beginning to say so and to hell with the consequences really.

  3. #3
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    Sad, especially as it's unresolved. I personally would step back and leave it up to DH to decide.

  4. #4
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    Default WWYD- fil cut us off/ignoring

    He might be offended about your xmas present request... There have been several threads about present buying. Still it's pretty childish to let that fester and not say goodbye before you moved.

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    I haven't spoken to my own father in over 10 years. Personally I wouldn't bother chasing him, if your FIL wanted to see you, your DH or his grandchildren he would have. Don't waste your time, concentrate on your own little family, he will miss out on his grandchildren.

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    Cicho  (21-03-2016)

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    Do you know exactly why he has cut you guys off? Has he expressed his exact issue to other family members?

    I wouldn't chase after him if I had no clue why he cut contact. I don't have time for that kind of nonsense from a grown adult.

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    Maybe he was annoyed about being asked to do things all the time.

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    DarcyJ  (24-03-2016)

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Maybe he was annoyed about being asked to do things all the time.
    Maybe, but that's a bit unreasonable. They're his grand kids! It's not like Monnie is asking him to look after them while she's at work, it's taking the kids for an outing or coming to visit.

    Sorry he's being such a douche Monnie, I agree with PPs and I'd not bother trying anymore. As disappointing as it is for your kids, he's obviously sent a clear message he is happy to not be involved in their lives.

  11. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Maybe he was annoyed about being asked to do things all the time.
    Seriously? It came up in convo at Christmas and he seemed interested but had to 'check' both schedules as they work.

    DH said he needs to put his effing man pants on and gtfu but I don't feel this way as its family and I feel hard to let go of situations like this as they are only grand kids so far.

    He only told SIL & MIL. He didn't even text us and say hey xyz I'm upset I didn't get to catch up before we left its upset me. Instead he is ignoring us.

    My DH is ready to just cut him completely and MIL respects his decision.

  12. #10
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    Just to put another perspective on things, maybe he has other problems in his life and you guys are being caught in the fall out somehow.
    Last edited by SSecret Squirrel; 22-03-2016 at 12:09.


 

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