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  1. #11
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    Pretty normal. I have to constantly remind my 4 year old. I know what you mean though, why bother enforcing manners if they only say it when reminded, but they are still learning and there's so much going on in their tiny minds, it's no wonder they forget.

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    I would stop prompting. Continue modeling good manners yourself and praise heavily when your child does say please or thankyou. This seems to have much more success with my toddler son. Also I have a focus on asking nicely but not necessarily always saying please. So if my son says "mummy I'm very thirsty" in a nice voice that's totally ok and I'll pass him his cup but if he yells "WATER MUMMY!" Then I just say "if you want something you must ask nicely". This usually results in "pass my water please".
    Good luck. X

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  4. #13
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    DS 3 is really good, I think Montessori preschool really drill it in though (maybe too much, they are quite strict!), today we we're playing and I handed him a peice of duplo and he says 'oh thank you very much'
    I would talk to childcare (if applicable) and keep doing what your doing!

  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by RedCreamingSoda View Post
    I would stop prompting. Continue modeling good manners yourself and praise heavily when your child does say please or thankyou. This seems to have much more success with my toddler son. Also I have a focus on asking nicely but not necessarily always saying please. So if my son says "mummy I'm very thirsty" in a nice voice that's totally ok and I'll pass him his cup but if he yells "WATER MUMMY!" Then I just say "if you want something you must ask nicely". This usually results in "pass my water please".
    Good luck. X
    This 100%. I'd stop focusing on correction entirely and ease up a bit. They are just learning how to communicate, it's ok to make mistakes.

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    My kids are 9 and 6 and manners can still go out the window frequently. When this happens and they bark at me all they get in response is "excuse me"? If they can't figure out what I'm saying then they don't get anything.

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    DD is 2.5 and she will forget occasionally but I always say 'how do we ask nicely?' Or 'I think you're missing a word!' And it reminds her. I've noticed I don't always say please when I ask DH for things and vis versa so it is easy to forget! We've just moved from 'I want please' to 'please can I have' as well.

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    Default 4 yr old and manners, normal or defiant

    Like you, we teach manners at every opportunity.

    If my 4 yo doesn't use them I pretend I'm deaf and say I don't understand.

    HER: "Mum, I want some food"
    ME: "I'm sorry, what was that?"

    And repeat until she uses manners. Same goes for rude/tantrum-y behaviour.

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    DD & ds 2&3 there manners very good always say please, thank you, can we please etc... But man do they throw tantrums when something doesn't go there way. They are still learning. Be persistent. Maybe get a reward chart?

    I even take ds's food away and say no we Don't do that if we don't say thank you. His sister pulls him up on it all time too


 

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