+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    321
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked
    51
    Reviews
    0

    Question 4 yr old and manners, normal or defiant

    My child just turned 4. For the past 6 months we have prompted manners EVERY SINGLE TIME. We have never let it slip, always reminding, modeling.

    Today I had another talk to child about beautiful manners and we practiced asking for things using manners.

    30 mins later child comes up to me and says 'mummy give me a drink'. I just wanted to bang my head on the table, I am at a loss.

    How many years does it take to teach a child manners?

    I"d say my child uses manners 40% of the time at home. I'm not sure about child care.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Greendale
    Posts
    94
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked
    20
    Reviews
    0
    I am very big on manners so my 4yo DD knows that she gets nothing without them, to the point now because she knows this I will even ignore her until she uses them. Everyone always comments how she has lovely manners so I know she uses them even when we are not around too.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    3,954
    Thanks
    694
    Thanked
    2,302
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I do not know what is normal. My 3yo DS is usually pretty good (sometimes needs prompting) but I am well aware that changes in a blink of the eye.

    I have no idea if I do the right thing but I ignore him if he is demanding things. If he does it a few times I then prompt and will not engage further until he does so.

    I would speak to childcare and ask. She may be fine and hust be testing you.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Gippsland
    Posts
    14,661
    Thanks
    1,208
    Thanked
    3,837
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    We are strict with manners. If they don't say please they don't get the thing they asked for. We have also been known to take away a dessert if they didn't say thank you.

    OP, out of curiosity, did you give her the drink when she asked without manners?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    321
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked
    51
    Reviews
    0
    No i did not give the drink.

    I ignored but after kept repeating for drink i got very angry and said, no manners no drink.

    I got the manners but far out... it turned into a big deal.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Sunshine Coast
    Posts
    2,963
    Thanks
    2,383
    Thanked
    2,071
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    It will happen, be persistent. My kids have great manners at 9 and 11 but it's taken lots of work. I still have to remind them both occasionally. I have to remind them about lots of stuff still. He will get there. Stick to your guns...at 4yo you will have to constantly remind him though. It gets better.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    2,005
    Thanks
    291
    Thanked
    729
    Reviews
    6
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    My four year old is pretty good, but has to be reminded pretty often. If he forgets, I just remind him. When he remembers, I praise him heaps. I once had an educator at Childcare comment that he's the most polite kid there, so it must be sinking in at least some of the time!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    2,216
    Thanks
    961
    Thanked
    477
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    My 2yo DS has better manners than my 4yo DS. We remind him almost every single time to say please and thank you, it's so frustrating when DS2 says thank you Mummy and DS1 just takes it and I have to stop him and remind him.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    The Kimberley WA
    Posts
    4,622
    Thanks
    916
    Thanked
    1,180
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Our 5 year old uses good manners every time as does our 7 year old. They were pulled up early on if they didn't so they know to use them.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    my house
    Posts
    17,699
    Thanks
    1,391
    Thanked
    7,288
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Sometimes kids forget. I just continue to model and the kids will pick up.

    My 5 year old sometimes forgets but I just remind him. No big deal. He just started school this year and recently got an assembly award for "always using his best manners" so I'm pretty sure we are doing something right


 

Similar Threads

  1. Help with a defiant 5 yo!
    By bunnymum in forum Discipline & behaviour
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 17-11-2016, 22:13
  2. How much is normal?
    By believa in forum First Trimester Chat
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 25-09-2015, 05:53
  3. Is it normal
    By SAgirl in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 04-06-2015, 15:04

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Ro&Co
Share magical moments this Christmas with this gorgeous gingerbread house. Exclusively available in Brisbane, with FREE delivery in Brisbane Metro areas. Each Christmas Centrepiece is unique and made to order, from $240.
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
ProSwim
ProSwim runs learn to swim classes for babies, children and adults. Our indoor centre in Plympton Park has lessons all year round, including school holidays. We also offer outdoor programs during the summer months (Oct-Mar) at Rostrevor college.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!