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  1. #1
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    Default issue with sibling of a guest at your child's party?

    Today we threw our 5yo his first party with 'friends'. We hired out a party room at a local indoor play centre
    seeing as the children were 4-5yrs old, 90% of parents hung back (great!) It was nice to actually talk to them as opposed to the drop off/pick up rush of kinder.

    anyway, one parent who hung back had a younger sibling (3?? maybe? Child was rather solid and quite tall but based on physical ability and size id say 3. child did not speak other than 'nonononono' but i have an early childhood background so is a fairly well educated guess.)

    For this i will call the sibling 'child x'.
    All tje children were happy and i look over to see my birthday boy laying on his back with child x ontop. ds was not impressed and was struggling to try and get up.

    i went over and said "ohhh...let let *ds* get up" . Child x. just glared st me, so i repeated "please hop off *ds. he wants to get up" child x continued to glare at me and wriggle to meet my ds's moves so he couldn't get up.
    Eventually i managed to get child x off.

    child x ran out the door into carpark. neither parent was around. refused to come inside. i kept saying come on lets go play/find mum etc and child x just stared at me. i stood near the door out of sight watching and eventually they decided they would come back.

    While ds was playing with another, child x pulled him to the ground and once again lay ontop and refused to move,this time ds managed to start crawling away and child x went to bite him on the arm. ds just happened to move it intime but child xhad their mouth opened ready.

    talking to ds tonight iasked what he liked most about his party and he said "everything ! But i don't like *child x* (did not know name but described by hair and clothing) i he kept hurting me and i didn't invite him!"

    How do you handle this kind of thing? Do you allow siblings? Should i have said something to the parents?

  2. #2
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    I am/ would be fine with younger siblings attending.

    Having said that, I would expect the parents to be keeping an eye on the child.

    If I ever take my younger kids I let the host know, pay for them if needed and make sure they're with me.

    Perhaps next time find the parent and say something like, "your child is looking for you!"

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  4. #3
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    Oh that's a shame for your DS - I always say on my invites siblings can come and I hired a play centre for DS 4th party and I had a pre school mum also bring her 2 year old who was a terror and I noticed he was pushing over my 18month old niece all the time so I did just say to the mum I'm sorry but your DS is really upsetting my niece by pushing her over all the time could you watch him please -a) she wasn't watching so she didn't see but when I said something she was on it immediately and b) it's my party so I have the right to bring it to the parents attention to watch their kids on my time 😉

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  6. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by yadot View Post
    I am/ would be fine with younger siblings attending.

    Having said that, I would expect the parents to be keeping an eye on the child.

    If I ever take my younger kids I let the host know, pay for them if needed and make sure they're with me.

    Perhaps next time find the parent and say something like, "your child is looking for you!"
    This is me as well.

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  8. #5
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    I wouldn't have had an issue with the younger child being there. Sometimes the parent has another child in their care while they supervise the other child that is invited and it can't be helped. But my pet hate is parents who don't supervise their kids and let them hurt others, trash other people's houses etc. It's selfish, rude and shows a lack of respect and empathy. I would have probably gone up to the mum and politely said her child had gone outside and since you had so many kids to supervise could she just grab him (hint hint look after your bloody child! )

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  10. #6
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    Thank for the responses. i should add i was totally ok with siblings being there. Id had a few ask and was fine with it. they did supervise their children.

    i would need to take ds2 if ds1 is invited out, but i would be supervising closely too.

    What probably made it worse was mum dad and grandma were there (as i later discovered. there was a rush of guests at once so it took a bit to work out who belonged to who) but all sat in the party room the entire time. when child x ran into the carpark i wasn't sure who they belonged too but knew they were 'with' me.

    Ill keep these tips in mind for next time but hopefully i won't need to remember. them

  11. #7
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    Out of interest, how many siblings would you all be ok with them bringing? I grew up with so many siblings it was pretty much understood that it was not ok for us all to attend. So this issue never came up for me when I was growing up. So far we've hosted DS1's parties in our little 2 bedder (cash flow issues combined with it raining every single year at his birthday party) and last year there were so many siblings he couldn't invite all his friends. Didn't seem fair.

  12. #8
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    I think 1,2 maybe.

    i get that finding someone to nind kids can be difficult. my own mum (only person we trust) who lives with us won't mind ds 2 (11.5mnths). She says all he does is scream and cry out for me when I'm gone.
    (I've only ever left him briefly for kinder runs occasionally) as hes still bf on demand. And demand frequently, he does. Haha

  13. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sally1981 View Post
    Out of interest, how many siblings would you all be ok with them bringing? I grew up with so many siblings it was pretty much understood that it was not ok for us all to attend. So this issue never came up for me when I was growing up. So far we've hosted DS1's parties in our little 2 bedder (cash flow issues combined with it raining every single year at his birthday party) and last year there were so many siblings he couldn't invite all his friends. Didn't seem fair.
    My parties all siblings are okay. At the party in a few weeks i will cater for all siblings and have spare party bags for them etc...But I have 6 kids so extras don't bother me.
    When we go. I usually try and only take a child that is breastfeed as a sibling. I don't leave their side. If for some reason I have to take others I ring first and make sure it's okay or just don't go. If It's okay they stay by me. No playing around. I take something with me to keep them occupied. I understand a lot of people can't handle big families. I mean sometimes I feel like I am losing the plot and their my kids.

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    This isn't a should siblings be allowed issue. This is an issue about parents not watching their kids.

    Did you say something to the parents?

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