Well I thought I was over the worst but I must have deluded myself. Rather than living day by day thinking of suicide in terms of not just if but when, I had started to plan a future. But it's all come tumbling down and I'm left feeling more of a failure than I ever did. I'm a failure as a person, a friend, my career is down the gurgler because of depression, I'm a crap mum and must be a crap wife too because my dh treats me like crap.
Saw my doctor and they were concerned about me but with Easter approaching there is limited availability for other appointments so I'm pretty much on my own. I'm not sleeping and everything is pretty much just getting on top of me. I'm also feeling like a monster for dreading the school holidays instead of being all excited about spending time together