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  1. #11
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    Hmmm... I think I may try Dr Jay Gordon's method for night weaning as a starting point. If it doesn't work, then I will try your suggestion, @RedCreamingSoda, and at least I have a long break through the day. I'll probably end up doing it even if night weaning is successful. I'd prefer if the night weaning worked, for obvious reasons. @rainbow road, I've tried not offering, not denying. He's a persistent little thing. If I don't deny him some, sometimes he comes up every 5 minutes or so for a quick drink before dashing off again. He is strong enough to pretty well pull my shirt and bra away - which is not what I want in public. He also has almost worked out how the clips work. I kind of wanted it to work. It would have been so easy.

    Thanks for your responses everyone. They gave me food for thought, and have helped me to come up with something I'm much more comfortable with 😊

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  3. #12
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    I haven't weaned my 25 month old boo.b obsessed ds yet. At 12 months he was still feeding 6 times a day. Now it's usually 2-3. Af returned when ds was 10 months - I did have problems with my episiotomy scar up until then but af returning solved that.

    I have found two things have helped a lot with feed frequency. Getting out and about during the day so ds was too distracted (some of his feeds were from boredom). And sending him to childcare / getting nan to look after him.

    His sleep improved at 18 months and he started sleeping through regularly at around 22-23 months.

    He's teething now so has been waking more overnight and wanted extra comfort.

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  5. #13
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    Currently in this stage with my nearly 14 month old she also pulls my shirt and bra aside making that noise to have some milk and then only had a few sips (frustrating). I had the same thing with my first- my girls are both huge boobie monsters!

    My first was just shy of 14 months when my second was born and I fed them both for nearly 10 months. I was very strict with a schedule for my DD1 as I did not want to be demand feeding a toddler plus newborn. It made weaning much easier as picking a feed to drop was scheduled. I also agree that it is easier to wean after 18months.

    So what I would do (and I am currently doing with DD2) is stick to scheduled feeding meaning when your ds does feed he will have longer feeds, use distractions to stop him demand feeding, once he is on a more regular feeding schedule drop the night feeds back and then you will be able to drop the others. It doesn't sound like he will self wean (maybe if you do conceive and dry up a bit) but you may also get your cycle back with regular feeds and weaning at night.

    Also want to add that him getting upset when you don't let him feed is totally normal for his age if you were saying no to any other thing he wanted to do he would have the same reaction. And with the biting you could try stopping the feed a bit short of when you know he has nearly emptied you. good luck!

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  7. #14
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    I just wanted to mention something that I have seen mentioned a few times. Self-weaning and people mentioning that they hoped for bub to wean themself but they didn't so they weaned around 2 or so. I am a member of an international extended breastfeeding group with many thousand of members. I have learned that the average age of true child led weaning (no parent encouragement to wean and no pregnancy or supply issues that prompt weaning) normally happens between 4-7 years old. I have seen much discussion about how this matches up with normal weaning when compared to high order primates or other animal that have similar development to humans. I have not personally looked into theses studies so I can't vouch for the info. I just read along with interest. I don't think I will feed for this long. Im certainly not making a judgment that others should. I suppose that I am just pointing out that unless you are committed for the looooonnnng haul that expecting bub to self-wean might not be a reasonable expectation. Anyway back on topic ☺️

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  9. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by RedCreamingSoda View Post
    I just wanted to mention something that I have seen mentioned a few times. Self-weaning and people mentioning that they hoped for bub to wean themself but they didn't so they weaned around 2 or so. I am a member of an international extended breastfeeding group with many thousand of members. I have learned that the average age of true child led weaning (no parent encouragement to wean and no pregnancy or supply issues that prompt weaning) normally happens between 4-7 years old. I have seen much discussion about how this matches up with normal weaning when compared to high order primates or other animal that have similar development to humans. I have not personally looked into theses studies so I can't vouch for the info. I just read along with interest. I don't think I will feed for this long. Im certainly not making a judgment that others should. I suppose that I am just pointing out that unless you are committed for the looooonnnng haul that expecting bub to self-wean might not be a reasonable expectation. Anyway back on topic ☺️
    I have read the same thing. I guess there's a biological imperative there (especially if you don't get AF back while BFing), and is also a comfort thing - grounding and connecting.

    I didn't feed DS to sleep tonight. In fact, managed to get him to sleep in his cot (he reached for it, so I put him in!). Unfortunately he woke up and freaked out and wouldn't let me go, so now he's in my bed with me. Back to sleep without another feed though. Guess we'll see how the night goes.

  10. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by RedCreamingSoda View Post
    I just wanted to mention something that I have seen mentioned a few times. Self-weaning and people mentioning that they hoped for bub to wean themself but they didn't so they weaned around 2 or so. I am a member of an international extended breastfeeding group with many thousand of members. I have learned that the average age of true child led weaning (no parent encouragement to wean and no pregnancy or supply issues that prompt weaning) normally happens between 4-7 years old. I have seen much discussion about how this matches up with normal weaning when compared to high order primates or other animal that have similar development to humans. I have not personally looked into theses studies so I can't vouch for the info. I just read along with interest. I don't think I will feed for this long. Im certainly not making a judgment that others should. I suppose that I am just pointing out that unless you are committed for the looooonnnng haul that expecting bub to self-wean might not be a reasonable expectation. Anyway back on topic ☺️
    I have read somtething like this too, and that kids lose their baby teeth or "milk teeth" at this time, so it is thought that this when they would naturally wean. Too long for me though!

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  12. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by RedCreamingSoda View Post
    Hi. Congratulations on feeding this long. Never forget that what you have given your son is immeasurable and totally awesome!
    I am going to suggest another option..... Decide on set feeds and stick with only them. So maybe just morning and night. This is what I do. My DS has been on only these feeds since sometime just after 12 months and he is still having just those feeds now at over 2 yrs old. A few reasons this works for us (and might work for you)....
    1- No tantrums when asking for milk. He knows when he has a feed and doesn't ask in between. When he was younger and did ask I would just say "oh yes you can have milk but not until later after your bath/after you wake up". I'm sure your son will cry at the beginning but if you are consistent he will know that milk is coming to him, he just has to wait.
    2- the 12hr gap between feeds was enough for my cycle to return (and now I'm tandem feeding baby DD!)
    3- my emotional health has really benefited. I don't have to feel guilt for weaning before he was ready but I feel happy that I set the limits and stuck with them.
    4- you can increase feeds in special circumstances. My son recently had gastro and could not keep any food down for days. I fed him on demand for 2 days. It's times like this that I am soooooo grateful that I didn't buckle to the pressure to wean already.

    I will admit that my DS thrives on routine so he has had scheduled feeds for ages but even with your DS who is used to feeding on demand I think it will be a better transition then weaning all together.

    Good luck. X
    I hope I'm not derailing op, but I just wanted to say thanks to @RedCreamingSoda for this advice. I've been a bit stumped on how to deal with bfing and my 20mo. I'd been thinking my only options were either to wean her completely, night wean, or continue to feed on demand and therefore accept af's continued absence. None of those were proving the right fit for us.
    After reading your suggestion I decided to give it a go starting today. I'm aiming for set feeds morning, prenap, and bedtime. I'll stick with demand bfing during the night for a week or two while she gets used to the day changes and then I'll get rid of night feeding as well. So far today it's gone really well! She's asked a lot as usual but has been okay when I explained "not now. Milk time is xxx." She's actually eaten a lot more solids today too which has been a plus!
    Anyway, that's long winded but I just wanted to say thanks and also tell the op that this seems to be working for me! 😊

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  14. #18
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    Not derailing at all! Glad it's helping you! I was in the same boat. I've decided to do exactly the same thing, as of yesterday. He's been pretty good about it, considering I'm not sure how much he understands about it. I've also got a sleep consultant appointment on Tuesday, so didn't want to do too much at night before speaking with her. Depending on the sleep consultant's advice,I was going to try Dr Jay Gordon's method, as suggested by R&A&H.

    So, thanks to both @RedCreamingSoda, and @Rose&Aurelia&Hannah. It's been fantastic to get advice from others who have been there before.

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  16. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Dancer View Post
    Not derailing at all! Glad it's helping you! I was in the same boat. I've decided to do exactly the same thing, as of yesterday. He's been pretty good about it, considering I'm not sure how much he understands about it. I've also got a sleep consultant appointment on Tuesday, so didn't want to do too much at night before speaking with her. Depending on the sleep consultant's advice,I was going to try Dr Jay Gordon's method, as suggested by R&A&H.

    So, thanks to both @RedCreamingSoda, and @Rose&Aurelia&Hannah. It's been fantastic to get advice from others who have been there before.
    That's great that you've been able to put together a plan too! I'd love to hear how you get on with the sleep consultant. I suspect tackling the night feeds is going to be the biggest hurdle for dd and I.

  17. #20
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    Yes. I think it will be the same here. DS has been waking every 45 min to an hour and a half all night since I went straight back to work FT, after we moved from ACT. And then we moved interstate again 5 weeks after the first move (I resigned so DH could take up a great opportunity in QLD). Last night we got to 2 hours between feeds, which was much better, but still want to get down to at least 1 to 2 night wakings only.

    I'll certainly let you know how it goes. I've been told she is fantastic.


 

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