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  1. #1
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    Smile The Toddler Weaning Room!

    A bit of background:

    - DS is a bit boob obsessed. He's recently increased his feeds to at least 4 through the day and 2 over night. He definitely feeds for comfort. This is starting to impact on how much food he eats.

    - I don't feed him every time he asks for it, especially with his frequent wakings over night. Refusing him means lots of tears at night/before bed, or tantrums through the day.

    - He's recently started biting me when he's decided he's done. I always say no biting, but he's finished at that point and taking it away is a moot point.

    - He's currently in an intense separation anxiety phase.

    - I'm thinking about the possibility of TTC again in a couple of months (provided the sleep consultant calls me back and I start making progress with his sleep). AF still isn't around, and clearly BFing will continue to influence this.

    - Still having issues with pain from my tear, which the gynae has said will resolve once I stop BFing.

    - My anxiety spikes when DS dissolves entirely into crying.

    The way I see it, I've got 3 options:
    - Continue BFing for a while longer and see what happens re: self weaning and TTC. Continue with the pain from the tear for a bit longer.
    - Wean him gently and hope that the crying isn't too bad for too long
    - Cut him off cold turkey and impact on the separation anxiety, have more tantrums and longer awake periods at night, but potentially for a shorter duration.

    Any thoughts/opinions/advice welcome 😊

    Sorry that was so long. Thanks for making it to the end!

  2. #2
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    Default WWYD: BF past 16 months

    I struggled with this myself at the same age I didn't have the issues relating to breastfeeding that you have though- apart from the biting. I went cold turkey. My dd1 was boob obsessed. However, she was older at 2 years when I finally cracked, and I think this made it a lot easier as she could comprehend more. But as I said- I wasn't planning on TTC or had pain. I kept hoping she would self wean or decrease her interest in the boob but unfortunately it never happened

    I did read in the babylove book it is easier past the age of 15 months to wean cold turkey as they can't comprehend why they can have it sometimes and not others, so that's why I went that option. Also she was never one to drop feeds.

    In any case distraction and keeping busy for a week of so is key. There will be tears no matter if gentle or cold turkey unfortunately. They do move on though. And early morning starts- feeding back to sleep at 430 was thrown out the window so we often started the day then.

    You also need to look after yourself at this time if you decide to wean. It may be an old wives take but honestly cold cabbage leaves saved me- I was a leaky engorged mess and they were amazeballs. You will also be hormonal yourself.

    I hope others can share their stories with you. It's a very personal division. I found it frustrating there was a complete lack of info on weaning an older baby/toddler who was boob obsessed.

    You've done a wonderful job and provided your ds with the best start possible. Good luck whatever you decide to choose xxxx

    Ps I feel pregnant the month I weaned her as I didn't have proper contraception, I didn't expect my cycle to go back to normal immediately!

    Pps she started sleeping through a week or so after weaning.
    Cold and flu tablets decrease your supply and may also encourage self weaning (didn't work here! I tried at 18 months and had a horrendous cold)
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 16-03-2016 at 15:51.

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    He sounds very similar to my DS. I actually found that age was when he really dug in his heels with the BFing. I always wanted my DS to self wean, but it was just never going to happen. You could try gentle weaning, might be less traumatic for you both than cold turkey, but might still be a battle. I thought about going cold turkey but my DS was just so attached to it, I couldn’t do it.

    I ended up slowly cutting back the feeds during the day at that age, distraction was key, I stopped feeding him when we were out. I found if he had a busy day he didn’t ask for it. He still wanted the boob before his midday sleep and I very slowly tried to cut that out. It took a long time.. I really was only able to fully wean him at 2.5 when I was 3 months pregnant, I honestly still felt I’d be feeding him till kindergarten.

    You could potentially start by trying to get him down tomorning and night? Then try and cut the night feeds (which is HARD) and then start dropping the morning or bedtime feed. Whatever you try though, make sure you take care of yourself. Weaning is hard, whenever you do it and you can get a big hormone shift when you start dropping the feeds right down and when you stop. If you go cold turkey, that could work too but you’d really have to be committed to it.

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    Default WWYD: BF past 16 months

    My DD was 15 months so a bit younger. I tried reducing but it seemed to make her angry. In the end I went cold turkey. It was hard and horrible and we were both in tears. I started on a weekend when DH could take her and distract her then did my best during the week.

    It doesn't help that everything you Google makes you feel like a horrible person for doing it like that. I had no choice as we were doing IVF and I had to wean her to get my cycles back.

    The bright side was it took 5 days and she properly and consistently slept through after that. And within a week it was like it never happened.

    Good luck.
    Last edited by Sonja; 16-03-2016 at 16:45.

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    I would night wean him first. Dr Jay Gordon has a great night weaning plan.

    I found night weaning helped my head space. Then the day feeds just dropped off within a few months without me trying.

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    Hi. Congratulations on feeding this long. Never forget that what you have given your son is immeasurable and totally awesome!
    I am going to suggest another option..... Decide on set feeds and stick with only them. So maybe just morning and night. This is what I do. My DS has been on only these feeds since sometime just after 12 months and he is still having just those feeds now at over 2 yrs old. A few reasons this works for us (and might work for you)....
    1- No tantrums when asking for milk. He knows when he has a feed and doesn't ask in between. When he was younger and did ask I would just say "oh yes you can have milk but not until later after your bath/after you wake up". I'm sure your son will cry at the beginning but if you are consistent he will know that milk is coming to him, he just has to wait.
    2- the 12hr gap between feeds was enough for my cycle to return (and now I'm tandem feeding baby DD!)
    3- my emotional health has really benefited. I don't have to feel guilt for weaning before he was ready but I feel happy that I set the limits and stuck with them.
    4- you can increase feeds in special circumstances. My son recently had gastro and could not keep any food down for days. I fed him on demand for 2 days. It's times like this that I am soooooo grateful that I didn't buckle to the pressure to wean already.

    I will admit that my DS thrives on routine so he has had scheduled feeds for ages but even with your DS who is used to feeding on demand I think it will be a better transition then weaning all together.

    Good luck. X

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    I'm with you with your indecision on weaning.

    My 17mo is tandem feeding with my 4 week old and the 17mo had gotten down to just one quick feed before bed. He is now boob obsessed. He doesn't have his bedtime feed anymore and will sometimes go a few days between feeds, then goes for a few days where he wants boob ALL THE TIME. Like 5-6 times in a morning. And looses his sh!t if I say no. Doesn't help if I'm feeding DS3.

    I don't know wether I try wean him or just ride it out but tandem feeding can be exhausting.

    So I'm guessing I'm following to see if any advice is equally applicable to us

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    My son was boob obsessed too. So I decided to not offer, not deny. To my surprise, he just never asked again. It kind of broke my heart! After 3 days I did offer feeling regretful, and he looked at me like I was crazy. His sleeping improved exponentially after weaning.

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    @Sharni2 we have the same age gap (mine are a bit older then yours) and I am also tandem feeding. It's hard work so I just wanted to say well done and I hope you feel proud of yourself! X

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    Here is my reply to a different post the other day, might help here too : I have just weaned my 17 month old down to one feed in the morning and one at night. Before this it was all night feeding and 3 or 4 day feeds. I weaned him off the day feeds first, because it seemed like that might be easiest. I really just refused to feed him during the day, gave him a sippy cup of cows milk instead. He wasn't too impressed for a day or two, but then kind of got over it. Then I waited about a month or so and tackled the night feeds, but you wouldn't really have to wait. We had been co- sleeping, so I just let him co-sleep with DH and I went and slept in another room. First night was a bit rough, but now he sleeps through. I haven't been able to go back to co-sleeping yet, I tried after a week and he was just waking up looking for a feed all night.

    My next plan is to maybe have DH take him away for a couple of nights (probably to the IL's place) and hopefully we will be fully weaned

    I had to do something similar to this when I weaned my DS1 and DD at 17/18 months, my babies just never seem to want to give up breastfeeding!


 

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