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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mama Mirabelle View Post
    Thanks for all the replies. I feel quite reassured that so many of you wouldn't be up to going either. DH really wants to go, we're close to the couple getting married, and he's kind of pushing me to go but I really don't want to be sitting in a corner all night feeling fat and sore and uncomfortable, and trying to get the hang of feeding in front of 100+ people. The RSVP date is a week away so I might wait a while until I decide.
    Sounds like you don't want to go, in which I simply wouldn't go.

    Maybe your DH could go on his own.

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    Wow! ^^^ we would definitely not be friends if you excluded my 16 day old let alone my 6mth old.

    I would have declined the invite and probably distanced myself from you very soon after.
    This.

    We did not have a 'kid free' wedding. We asked every parent if they wanted to bring their kids - most said no (if they had older kids). But those with younger kids brought them.

    Your wedding=your decision but that is definitely not something I would be happy with (i.e. I would not go)

  3. #43
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    My BFF for whom I was maid of honour for invited my 2&4yo to the wedding, plus my mum and brother/SIL so there were enough ppl there to share the kid wrangling with me. She knew dh was deployed overseas and wanted me to enjoy myself.

    I did am eternally grateful she did that for me as the event was away from where we lived and I would have stressed about leaving them for a few days.

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    binnielici  (17-03-2016)

  5. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    Maybe I am selfish but I would also not let DH go to the reception leaving me with a toddler and baby.

    Witching hour+toddler on my own recovering from csection sounds like hell
    I feel like this! He suggested going on his own and the thought of being alone with both of the kids stresses me out.

    Last time I had a hellish time after giving birth so I'm hoping for the best but kind of expecting the worst again.

    If I end up like last time I won't be in any shape to go to a wedding or be alone with both of them at feeding/ bath/ dinner time. DH doesn't really get this, it's like he's forgotten what it was like, he keeps saying oh it'll be fine and I'm like umm hello it might not be! It's the kind of thing where I'll only know if I'm up to it after I give birth but the RSVP date is before that.

  6. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    Wow! ^^^ we would definitely not be friends if you excluded my 16 day old let alone my 6mth old.

    I would have declined the invite and probably distanced myself from you very soon after.
    Thankfully we have a strong relationship and didn't have one single problem with it, she understood it was my choice completely and respected that 100%.
    I think the respect goes both ways, I respected how difficult it would have been and discussed everything openly with her, and she respected my decision for my wedding. I completely understand why some people would think I may have been wrong etc, but it was my wedding and therefore my decision 😊

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    TheGooch  (17-03-2016)

  8. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by tassiewife View Post
    Thankfully we have a strong relationship and didn't have one single problem with it, she understood it was my choice completely and respected that 100%.
    I think the respect goes both ways, I respected how difficult it would have been and discussed everything openly with her, and she respected my decision for my wedding. I completely understand why some people would think I may have been wrong etc, but it was my wedding and therefore my decision
    Yes, your wedding your decision but I can guarantee she was sitting there throughout the reception resenting you on some level for your 'rule'. Especially if it was her first baby and she had agreed it before she really knew what she was agreeing to.

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    DarcyJ  (30-03-2016),just her chameleon  (17-03-2016),KitiK  (18-03-2016),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (17-03-2016)

  10. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by tassiewife View Post
    Thankfully we have a strong relationship and didn't have one single problem with it, she understood it was my choice completely and respected that 100%.
    I think the respect goes both ways, I respected how difficult it would have been and discussed everything openly with her, and she respected my decision for my wedding. I completely understand why some people would think I may have been wrong etc, but it was my wedding and therefore my decision 😊
    It's definitely your decision.

    Mine would have been to decline and walk away.

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    KitiK  (18-03-2016)

  12. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mama Mirabelle View Post
    I feel like this! He suggested going on his own and the thought of being alone with both of the kids stresses me out.

    Last time I had a hellish time after giving birth so I'm hoping for the best but kind of expecting the worst again.

    If I end up like last time I won't be in any shape to go to a wedding or be alone with both of them at feeding/ bath/ dinner time. DH doesn't really get this, it's like he's forgotten what it was like, he keeps saying oh it'll be fine and I'm like umm hello it might not be! It's the kind of thing where I'll only know if I'm up to it after I give birth but the RSVP date is before that.
    Honestly if it were me I'd say no and let him say yes but with a caveat that you may need him home at the last minute. If it were my wedding I would completely understand.

    By 3 weeks I would be fine after a Caesar but honestly you just can't predict these things. Don't put yourself under pressure to make a decision that can't be reversed. The bride and groom will always understand.

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    Mama Mirabelle  (17-03-2016)

  14. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by tassiewife View Post
    My friend had her baby on the 7th, with my wedding on the 23rd and she came.... And her newborn son wasn't invited ������ (I feel like I'm going to be in trouble for honestly saying that......)

    I had no children at all at my wedding. She had had a C-section too.
    She had her mother in law come every time her son needed a feed or her boobs were filling up as they only lived around the corner. She stays most of the night. Getting close to the end she asked if her son who was asleep could stay as they were thinking about heading off soon and I didn't have a problem with that as it was past the speeches etc.

    She was tired and feeling blah but made a huge effort and one that I appreciated so much!

    My bridesmaid came from Melb (I live in tassie) and she had a 6month old and still breast feeding but again her child wasn't invited. She came over earlier to help me as she was my only bridesmaid and brought her daughter but on the day had flown in her in laws to baby sit and have a holiday while they were here.

    I think this is a hard scenario as it comes down to how close you are to the people getting married. If not that close maybe don't go but if it's important to you then I'm sure you will make it work in the day!

    As much as I didn't have children at my wedding I very much appreciated what my friends did to respect my wishes and told them that!
    I'm all for kid free weddings, I had one. But asking a friend to not bring her newborn or breastfed 6 month old is pretty extreme.

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    DarcyJ  (30-03-2016)

  16. #50
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    I went to a wedding when DD was 2 weeks old. My main concern was her not being vaxxed but she slept in a sling tucked up nice and tight against me most of the time. My biggest problem was finding a dress I could breastfeed in that hid my postnatal belly!
    I had a VB though so physically was fine.
    It was my brothers wedding though, if it wasn't someone super close I may not have bothered.


 

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