I don't think what I'm going to post deserves a new thread so I've decided to bumping up this thread and discuss something deeper and may still be in relation to the original post.
So today was parent & teacher meeting (PTM) today at DS' school. I would say the school is already on-board and watches him closely on his behaviour. We had a chat with the vice principal also in re DS' behaviour. The school's main concern is that DS should get assessed by a paed for ADHD (or something like that) mainly in regards with his learning/general behaviour, focus, and attention span. Apparently the school has troubles getting him to focus only for 5 mins or less on school activities whether it's in classroom or outside and when he loses his focus that's when his 'weird' or 'defiant' personalities come out, for e.g. laying down on floor, wonder off to the back of the room, making silly voices, etc... which the teachers think these are not acceptable and disruptive and doesn't count as good behaviour hence no reward sticker if he constantly does that which he did get in troubles because of his actions towards reward charts thingy as I explained in earlier post.
So in school, here are the list that I gathered from the teachers' opinions in re possible ADHD assessment after one term's worth of investigation:
- short attention span every single day in classroom: classroom activities are generally short I've been told, but DS often decides to do something else and does not follow through. For e.g during writing activities, if his teacher is not by his side he decides to move away from his desk, and 'forgets' to continue or finish off his work, etc
- when he loses his focus, he'd rather be moving around, very unsettled, hence not able to finish off his work (wait, that reminds me why his school drawings are sometimes incomplete when he takes it home and he always says "im running out of time"). His moving around thing is rather disruptive to the classroom's learning activities.
- again another short span of attention case: I think this happened outside of class or during sports/outdoor activities, his teacher said one day when everybody was already lining up, and he was seen just sitting and chilling quietly somewhere at the back. Tbh, he never wonders around by himself, in fact he's afraid of getting lost, he's pretty much conscious about that. but it's just that he shows defiant acts like that trying to be different that the rest of his friends. I know that sometimes he doesn't want to join the 'crowd'.
- there was a couple of times he answered back as if he was protesting although he was at fault. Cant remember exactly the case.
- and opposite of protesting, there were numerous times too when he was given warnings or being sat and told by his teachers he was taking it as a joke (he either could be laughing, smiling or not taking it seriously). He only time he thought things were so serious was when he didn't get a reward sticker at the end of the week!
However, the school is also aware of the bright things DS possesses as a young boy but still that does not rule out the possibility of ADHD hence a request for an assessment is still heavily emphasised. The good things he has are as follows:
- confident communicator
- great language skills for his age (really good at explaining things)
- friendly personality
- Great thinking ability
- knows how to draw a line between things he wants and does not want (likes and dislikes)
- social butterfly
- enjoys school so much that he always looks forward to Monday after the weekend! and gets sad when he realises it's saturday/sunday, that means no school!
- he realises the importance of a reward chart, he tries hard to be a good boy who settles down this week, but still he's losing it and often that he's back being a little hurricane
To support the school's opinion in re ADHD possibilities, I, too, try to be honest that I have troubles with DS' hurricane personalities at home. These are:
- active boy, full-on and never sits down for more than 5 mins!
- never gets tired. Always "go, go, go" till crashes in bed (no such thing as bedtime for DS, only waiting for the time for him to pass out). Tried fixing his bedtime habits numerous times, but DS is unable to cooperate (his body isn't tired and his mind doesn't allow him to get ready to sleep!). This seriously puts a toll on my body too that I cannot rest when I need it!
- Chatterbox and talks whenever, wherever (nothing wrong with this, but he often chats to himself in funny voice, which I'm afraid he does this too at school at an inappropriate time, ie. during study time or teacher's story time)
- Can get rough when he's playing i.e. he enjoys doing little throws using his toys and his lego that he's built never lasts more than a day without him playing and smashing it. He's a lego lover who normally calms down when he's building lego, but very often he's on the loose and uses to lego satisfy his smashing actions!!
- jumps and down on the furnitures
- when he's willing to help out on house chores, he ends up making a big mess. Hence it's really hard to teach him and direct him on doing normal stuff
- Gets cranky, has melt downs and almost (but not quite) 'tantrums' if he's bored!
- To add to the growing list, I admit that I do not have structured routine/schedule at home for DS. Having an active kid like DS i find that it's really hard to sick to the schedule when he's so strong minded and his mind tells him to do otherwise, whilst my schedule says so... The only good routine is the morning before school that he gets up, showers, has a quick breakfast, changes into uniforms, then out of the door exactly at the same time every morning! But in the afternoon he's so all over the place and sometimes he's eating dinner a bit later because he's eaten so much snack after school. see, simple things like that makes his schedule out of place!
As his mum, I do feel I sense some his ADHD personalities towards me and especially when he's around me:
- Loves to order me do stuff for him (his daily words are: get me a drink, feed me, I don't want to eat by myself, get me that paper, get me that snack, come with me to the bathroom, I want you to be next to me, etc etc) . And he often barges in when I'm in the loo!
- On the loo topic, he often goes to the ladies toilet with me in the shopping centre, and sometimes I take my turn using the loo too after he's finished, he often quickly grabs and unlock the door and opens the toilet door (in a public!) whilst I'm still doing my business! it's just that it's always "go, go, go" for him after finishing up something and doing things without thinking!
- NEVER understands me! He demands for me whenever and wherever. Especially when I am doing some work I try to explain that I'll get back to him in 5 mins but he wants me now and when he's not patient enough he loses it and has melt downs!
- Hates me leaving him as if he's paranoid that i'll go missing. Always following me around, and even when doing errands outside the house I cannot never do it without him, except when he's at school. And when there was one time I went out without him, I needed to deal with his interrogation why I went without him, etc, repeated in exact format for at least 10x
- His level of maturity concerns me a lot that sometimes I treat him like a 2 year old that I worry that he might do dangerous or silly things if i'm not around him, hence I try to keep an eye on him wherever he is at home!
It's not that I want to deny the fact my child may have ADHD and it's not about the name of ADHD that scares me so much, but to be honest, I feel that I'm afraid its a LOT OF BLOODY HARD WORK that requires so much sacrifice, time, consistency, etc raising an ADHD boy.
Last edited by bunnymum; 30-03-2016 at 22:58.
I have boys 2 adhd with sensory issuses/disorder . I have 1 daughter with aspegers with sensory processing disorder. 1 with bi polar, social anxiety. Depression adult daughter.
I can tell you while it sounds super scary to get diagnoses that your child has a problem, it's actually the best thing ever. One you have it in writing you can get help. Help that will make both your life's easier.
Yes there will be a grieving stage but you will get through it.
I am here if you ever need to talk.
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