DS1 (4 yrs 8 mths) is driving me crazy. His new little brother arrived just over a week ago, he was really looking forward to his arrival and very excited when he was born. However, since arriving home it's been a different story.
Now I expected there to be an adjustment period, a little extra clingy, etc. however, he's getting worse by the day. We've been trying really hard to be extra patient and tolerant, giving him as much attention as possible, bought him gifts, organised extra play dates with friends and reading extra stories at night etc but it's not enough. We've tried talking gently to him explaining the changes and asking him how he feels, but he doesn't want to talk to us about it. He knows what he is doing is wrong, but he probably doesn't know why he is acting the way he is.
He's being extremely defiant, not listening to ANything we ask him, deliberately doing the opposite etc. he's completely flipped his behaviour, become a devil child and is being very demanding, crying when he doesn't get his way, doing things he knows he isn't allowed to do.
He is normally a really good kid. I just don't know how to handle the situation. I am finding the balance between being patient and tolerant with maintaining authority very hard, DH and I are both sleep deprived and trying our best to get through these first few weeks. I am breastfeeding around the clock and just can't drop everything and often need to be alone to concentrate.
I can see he is very angry (not sure why, other than he has to share me?), and his behaviour is borderline violent. He is not normally ever like this.
Can anyone offer advice? For those that have similar age gaps how long did the adjustment period last and how did you manage?
I feel terrible for thinking it but honestly I wish someone would just take him away until he calms down, I am really losing my ability to be a patient loving mother with him, it's almost like my child has been replaced with a complete stranger.