I'm so sorry you're in this situation. He really does sound like a d*ck. If I had to be honest, if I was in your position I would put a stop to the baby making as it doesn't sound like the healthiest relationship to be born into and I think a baby will only make things worse.
I think you need to sit down with your OH and have a serious conversation about how your relationship is going.. where each of you think it's going and how it's going and see what he comes up with. Mention that you really need some time away with him and he needs to commit to SOMETHING even if it's just a long weekend away at a different time if it's SO busy right now.
I hope everything works out okay. Maybe he's just feeling disheartened/sad because of the miscarriages and is taking it out on you unintentionally?
Hugs. I'd be hurt too. I don't think you're blowing things out of proportion. I hope it all works out.
I don't really know what more you can do it if he isn't listening to you when you do speak up about your feelings. Maybe some time apart might be a solution for now? There's no point being so unhappy and resentful. He seems to put his business as a top priority, and it might be time for him to reassess what's really important in his life.
Renesme yes the baby making is on hold for the moment, & the counselor we saw said that he's bottled up all his grief & hasn't dealt with it properly. It comes out in anger & disinterest in IVF as he can't face another miscarriage.
We have had some big conversations about our relationship & there have been some positive changes, but I am still feeling lost & know that we need quality time together to rebuild things.
We're just in the middle of changing custody arrangements for DSS & once all that is finalized in the next month or so we will have every second weekend to ourselves which we haven't had since we've been together (we've had DSS every weekend - now changing to week about) so DH has promised me weekends away & said we will plan a holiday once we know the final schedule for DSS. I hope he means it...
witherwings his top priority is his business & I do understand that at the moment as it is fully supporting both of us, but under that comes his sons, then his friends & his social life & golf & fishing & surfing & football & somewhere not even on the page is me. I have thought about a trial separation but I'm not sure that we need to go there yet, but as a way of taking some time out to reassess what we really want & how important our relationship is, maybe it could be an option?
Hey Hun, I've been reading quietly along. I agree that I don't think you're overreacting but just wanted to put in my couple of cents.
I know it was asked in the accountant thread, but are you 100% sure he's not having an affair? Even if it's a grey area like an emotional affair or a crush or something he's not sure how to handle? Or could there be something else he's holding back from you - something about the business maybe?
Also, I just wanted to advise you to be careful about going down the trial separation road. You have to be prepared for it to end in actual separation, because of the four options that can come out of it only one involves staying married. It's a huge risk to take and one that I wish I'd thought through better. I know you said that you don't think you're there yet so it's probably irrelevant.
You seem like a very open and kind and fair person so I'm a bit baffled as to how he could be treating you like this tbh. I hope he pulls himself together soon x
Last edited by harvs; 12-03-2016 at 21:01.
Good luck x
Pregnant for the first-time?
Not sure where to start? We can help!