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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fi Poledancer View Post
    He didn't have his third nap today even though he was tired. Even took him in the pram but no luck. I didn't do the book before bed, he still screamed the house down and I had to rock & pat to sleep. I hate to think I am undoing the progress but I left him for five minutes and he was hysterical, I couldn't leave him. I feel stuck! Why can he self settle during the day but not at night?! I feel a bit stressed right now... Normally I would follow my instincts but when I did that he was waking every couple of hours so now I am trusting others... Not sure how much longer I can deal with the crying though (yes I know I am making it worse by going in but he was distressed).
    Are you sure he is crying or is he just whinging? I'm currently living with my mum and some nights dd does scream the house down, but she is overtired and she will usually settle down... My mum is usually itching to go into her room but I won't let her. She needs to understand bed time is bed time not play time.

    It's a hard gig being a mum and when they can't tell you what's wrong it's even harder.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fi Poledancer View Post
    He didn't have his third nap today even though he was tired. Even took him in the pram but no luck. I didn't do the book before bed, he still screamed the house down and I had to rock & pat to sleep. I hate to think I am undoing the progress but I left him for five minutes and he was hysterical, I couldn't leave him. I feel stuck! Why can he self settle during the day but not at night?! I feel a bit stressed right now... Normally I would follow my instincts but when I did that he was waking every couple of hours so now I am trusting others... Not sure how much longer I can deal with the crying though (yes I know I am making it worse by going in but he was distressed).
    Please don't put so much pressure on yourself, talking about making it worse really only makes it worse for you. The fact is kids sleep ebbs and flows. I put so much pressure on myself with my first and it really brought me into a negative space. I have had some progress this week with my DD with a wind down routine and we are taking it very slowly. There are so many things that can affect sleep which we can't control - it's often got nothing to do with what we're doing or not doing. Do what works for you regardless of whatever progress you think you've made, you're doing a great job and he will get there. I'm guessing you're not brushing his teeth before his day naps? I would cut out teeth brushing of an evening after a bottle, it's really not necessary at such a young age.

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  4. #13
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    I would do like the others have suggested, cut out story time. And keep patting him to sleep if he needs it.
    Also try not to stress about it. You're doing a great job and the fact that he's putting himself back to sleep during the night is fab!

  5. #14
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    Default Self-setting at bedtime

    Quote Originally Posted by Mona424 View Post
    I'm thinking that your routine might need a little adjustment. Maybe putting feed last? 😊
    OP this may work for some and that's ok however I would recommend against putting feed last *if* your goal is to have a self settling bub in the medium-long run.

    Cut the third nap. Look at the timing of day naps and bring forward bed time so bub isn't so tired at bedtime. That's the underlying issue at play.

  6. #15
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    @Mona424 thank you, yep I know the difference between whingeing and crying now (I have finally learnt haha) and am okay with the grizzles. Only when he's really upset do I go in. @babyla and @MyLittleStar thank you so much for the support. I know we have had a lot of progress as he is now sleeping 8-9 hour stretches at night which is truly amazing. Even after a rough start last night he ended up sleeping til 4.30am (woke a few times but resettled himself). @VicPark thanks for your advice. I think I will have to stretch out his awake time slightly more to make sure his second nap is a little later and lasts a little longer to make sure he isn't getting so tired. Bedtime is already 6.30-7ish so I could probably only bring it forward slightly!

    Thanks ladies for respecting eachother's different POVs and not turning my thread into a war haha

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  8. #16
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    @Fi Poledancer what does your day routine look like? My DD is 8.5 months (7.5 corrected) and we've had a lot of sleep issues culminating in sleep school about 6 weeks ago. We've now got a routine that works for us and DD hasn't fought nap or bedtimes since we've got this in place. We are on 2 naps a day I think when she had 3 it was because her naps weren't long enough and we weren't giving her enough awake time to be tired enough for a decent nap then that was flowing into bedtime not being tired enough and fighting it.
    So our day now looks like this and our awake times go 2.5hrs, 3hrs, 3.5hrs with 15-30 minute leeway either side depending how she is on the day:
    7:30am wake up, breastfeed
    8:30am breakfast
    10am nap 1.5hrs
    11:30 wake up, breastfeed
    12:30 lunch
    2:30 nap 1.5hrs (sometimes 2)
    4pm wake up, breastfeed
    5pm dinner
    6pm shower
    6:30pm breastfeed, book/quiet play
    7:30 bed
    She goes straight down without a peep for all her naps and bedtime. At night she's now sleeping til 3-5am (and the other night right through til 7:30!) when I give her a quick feed and she goes back to sleep til about 7:30.
    If I tried to get her to bed at night with less than 3-3.5hrs awake time she would just get agitated and fight it and cry as she's not ready (which looks rather the same as being overtired but for her it wasn't being tired enough) so it's much easier now with the 2 naps and longer awake times. Sometimes her feed times may be off depending on the day, sometimes she falls asleep feeding or in the car but I just let that happen and it all slots into place somehow.
    Hopefully you can work things out so bub isn't fighting so much xx

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  10. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fi Poledancer View Post
    @Mona424 thank you, yep I know the difference between whingeing and crying now (I have finally learnt haha) and am okay with the grizzles. Only when he's really upset do I go in. @babyla and @MyLittleStar thank you so much for the support. I know we have had a lot of progress as he is now sleeping 8-9 hour stretches at night which is truly amazing. Even after a rough start last night he ended up sleeping til 4.30am (woke a few times but resettled himself). @VicPark thanks for your advice. I think I will have to stretch out his awake time slightly more to make sure his second nap is a little later and lasts a little longer to make sure he isn't getting so tired. Bedtime is already 6.30-7ish so I could probably only bring it forward slightly!

    Thanks ladies for respecting eachother's different POVs and not turning my thread into a war haha
    That is awesome!!!! Fabulous! My DD is the same age and I can't wait for that morning when she's slept 8/9 hours 😄

  11. #18
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    @babyla I was so happy. He does cry out occasionally in the night but we give him a minute and he resettles himself. Sometimes he chats and then nods back off to sleep. I would love it if he slept those 8-9 hr stretches without a peep but I also know that it's okay for them to complain a little in their sleep, and I don't need to feel guilty for waiting a minute or two before I go in (you can tell I still struggle with not responding instantly to his cries).
    @gingermillie that is what I was thinking!! His naps are pretty good and he self settles quickly for them, but I will work on improving that afternoon one so he's the right kind of tiredness come bedtime. Sounds like sleep school worked wonders for you!!!

  12. #19
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    What are you doing different at night in comparison to to the day time nap? Try setting it up the same.
    Also both of mine when they were that little if they were overly tired, it would be more difficult to put them to bed, just a thought may not be it, but perhaps try getting him to bed a little earlier. With little ones sleep promotes sleep.

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  14. #20
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    We have discovered that giving him a bottle before bed rather than a breastfeed makes him less sleepy, which works better because he's not falling asleep and being woken up again (which makes anyone grumpy!). Also he is soo big that it is hard to get him into a comfy position to read the story haha but DH has managed to do it. Looks like DH is on bedtime duty for awhile

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