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  1. #11
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    Thanks @ciaomamma

    So you found the Doppler reassuring??
    I've been thinking about it, but I'm worried I'll become obsessive with it, and do it ALL the time.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barca07 View Post
    Thanks @ciaomamma

    So you found the Doppler reassuring??
    I've been thinking about it, but I'm worried I'll become obsessive with it, and do it ALL the time.
    I loved it!
    I found it easy to find the heart beat after 20 weeks, we started using it before at around 17/18 weeks but it would take me ages to find it ( not sure if it was me needing to learn how to or if it was too early) anyway after 20 weeks it would just take a minute and I'd have peace of mind, definitely recommend getting one.

  3. #13
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    How did you go meeting the new OB? I hope it has helped to ease your anxiety a little. Have your care providers discussed an early induction or are they happy to go to term?

    The Fetal Medicine Unit is through the public hospital, which is the only hospital where I am with an NICU. They manage high risk pregnancies and all pregnancies after stillbirth go through them. They have highly specialized OBs and midwives who are experienced with bereaved mothers which minimizes the stupid things you have said to you! They scan for everything and everything they can think of, which does offer a little peace of mind. They also use 3d and 4d scanning later in the pregnancy in order to check on the cord position, which is currently my biggest fear, and if they have concerns they will get bub out ASAP. They are also happy to induce or give me a c-section at 38 weeks, which is also a little comforting.

    I was very determined to buy or hire a doppler, but DP, my counselor and the midwives advised me against it. At my 14 week appointment they tried to find bub on the doppler without success, which lead to me freaking out BIG time. Luckily they took me straight in for a scan and bub was happily waving from behind my placenta. Needless to say, I have decided not to get one at this point because I think in my case it would do more harm than good. I am still considering one later in the pregnancy, but with an anterior placenta its' unlikely to find bub anytime soon.

    Hope you're doing well!

  4. #14
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    OB appointment went really well. I was quite anxious before the appt, but she was lovely and put my mind at ease.

    She said that I can go in for a scan if I'm worried, but has given me a lot of
    Comfort. I'll try not to too much, but just good to know the option is there.

    The FMU sounds good. If all goes well with the pregnancy I'll consider going public next pregnancy. Good to know that you are well looked after.

    So the plan is to have a proper ultrasound scan every 4 weeks, and an OB appt every 4 weeks (in between the scans if I can work it that way). The OB does a basic scan in her rooms, so should see bub's heartbeat every 2 weeks. Hoping this will be enough to put my mind at ease !!

    Good to know the advice you have be given RE: Doppler. I'll just play it by ear and see how I cope.

    How have you be feeling so far?

  5. #15
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    On a random note, April -June is a busy time with friends and families having babies. I'm starting to think about having to go and see the newborns is hospital and even holding them and I'm getting quite anxious.

    We lost Johnny is October, so it'll be about 6 months.

    How did everyone else cope with the first friend /family baby and holding a newborn for the fist time post stillbirth? Is it as bad as I think it will be? Or am I'm working myself up for no reason? Any tips?

  6. #16
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    That is fantastic you have an understanding OB and great that you'll have such regular appointments and scans. I wouldn't worry about going in too much, to be honest I think looking after yourself and getting reassurance rather than allowing your stress and anxiety to get too much is the most important thing you can do.

    I haven't gone near a newborn or held a baby since Edith was born. I have no desire to hold another baby unless its' her brother or sister. It will be 2 years in July and I cannot handle even hearing about newborns. My cousin had her daughter a couple of weeks ago, I wish I hadn't been told as awful as that is as I didn't sleep for nights afterwards. All I could think of was that they (and her son who was similar age to mine when his sister was born) would be doing all the things we missed out on.

    One of my (formerly) closest friends sent me a photo of her new baby the night before Eadie's first birthday, after I had spent the day baking and decorating the house for a little party. I never replied and have no desire to have anything to do with them!

  7. #17
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    I'm 34 weeks pregnant after a stillbirth at 22 weeks in March last year. Put it this way - I have no car capsule, no where for the baby to sleep, no nappies etc. my three year old has no idea I'm pregnant because I still have no faith in my body to get this right. Any planning at all is too much for me to handle.

    I think you just have to go with it. Anxiety is going to be a major factor that likely won't go away. And that's ok. As others said, maybe try to get in touch with support groups in your area. I've also found a Facebook group called bears of hope rainbows has been pretty much essential as everyone is in the same position.

  8. #18
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    Thanks for the honesty @Sally1981

    Bears of Hope have been a great support for me. I go to their face-to face support group at the moment.

    I have closed my fb account...(couldn't handle all the baby pics and baby announcements), but have found loving life without it, so don't think I'll go back on.

    I have kind of come to the acceptance that the next few months are going to be rough. I'm still up and down. My biggest issue is that I don't get any pregnancy symptoms, so finding it hard to convince myself bub's is OK in there. I'd give anything to be throwing up am and pm, just for the reassurance!

    We have our 12 week scan next week. DH is super excited to tell everyone the news, but the thought jut fills me with anxiety at the moment.

    It's not that I'm not happy, I just don't have the excitement in me (and probably won't until I have breathing bub's in my arms).

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to Barca07 For This Useful Post:

    Sally1981  (25-03-2016)

  10. #19
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    It's really tough isn't it? I unfollowed all pregnant Facebook friends and those with babies. I just couldn't stand the constant triggers.

    I also bled up to 15 weeks in this pregnancy and I completely understand the lack of excitement at the 12 week mark. In fact, I never made an announcement. I got to 24 weeks before it was clear that I was pregnant and told people.

    I think it's great that you're seeking out support groups. Rainbow pregnancies are really really hard and anyone who says differently probably doesn't know what they're talking about.

    It sounds like you really know yourself and what you need. Just keep reminding yourself that whatever you feel and whatever you need is ok xx

  11. #20
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    Hi ladies, congratulations on your pregnancies, I'm sure it is a real struggle at the moment.

    Our obstetrician have given us the go ahead to start trying again after our little boy was born at 23+6 in early February.

    He took 3 years (18 months IVF) and because of that we think we shouldn't wait to long.

    I know it will be incredibly tough regardless of when we fall pregnant again but in curious to know how you all knew you were ready.

    Do you think waiting makes it easier or is there no difference?


 

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