@winsor - so sorry for you and DP. You are probably physically and mentally drained today. I wish you both peace.
@winsor I am sooo very sorry 😩, there are no words. It is just so sad. Poor little Gracie tried so hard..
@Charlie74 here's as brief a summary as I can manage...
Marriage breakup at end of 2012 when I was just over 40 and had just decided that I finally 'might' want children so did an egg freeze cycle.
I had met DP already but being brand new I was not prepared to do an IVF cycle with him then so did the egg freeze despite all the doctors recommending against it due to lower odds. Froze 10 eggs.
6 months later approaching 41 decided I was out of Time and to start IVF (I had been off birth control so figured it might take too long to happen naturally) and on second cycle fell pregnant only to have a missed m/c that ended up being a Down's syndrome little girl.
Did 8 various cycles all up with my OE and ended up transferring 10 of my embies but only got pregnant that one time.
At 42 I decided to go on my clinics DE wait list while I continued cycling but a donor chose us in 1 week so I was kind of forced to move onto DE when I wasn't quite ready, but couldn't let that oportunity pass us by. She was 34 and gave us 5 eggs/embies of which we got one pregnancy.
That poor little Bub at 8 weeks was slightly delayed so we had weekly
Scans for the next couple of weeks and heart rate stayed slow and zero growth. After a couple of weeks I told my dr I wanted to go off the meds to force the inevitable miscarriage and that dragged out for maybe 6-8 weeks. Took a couple of weeks to start then dragged on for weeks until my dr did an internal exam and could see the sac stuck in my cervix, pulled it out and sent it off for testing but too late by then, Bub had been reabsorbed.
After that preg I used the last two remaining donor egg embies and no luck.
Moved onto SA and after choosing a 24yo donor we were there in 8 weeks for our first transfer of two perfect blasts. I couldn't believe those two didn't stick !
In desperation I asked dr W in CT what else we could possibly do and he recommended more blood tests which is when we finally found my high ANA so for my last two CT embies I went on prednisone, clexane etc even though Dr W, my ob, my GP all said ANA shouldn't affect a pregnancy. I was never tested for other immune issues so don't know if something else contributed.
Both of those last two embies stuck. That was 19 embies and 14 cycles to get here.
After all this I would say...
1. My old clinic only ever did day 2 transfers. I reckon that was so they could charge to transfer every single embie. If they'd waited until day 3 or 5 we could have weeded out all the duds.
2. I should have insisted on further tests much earlier.
3. I can't say for sure that if I was carrying my own Bub whether I'd feel different - I suspect there'd be a lot more talk about personality and looks that we hope to see from my side - but I'd forego all that anyway to have 1 Bub rather than none which is prob how we would have ended up with OE
4. Maybe I should have drank less alcohol between cycles as that can affect egg quality supposedly - but then again I'm old too so who knows.
5. I still would have much preferred only having 1 and I still feel like it's not real and I'm not really connected to them yet but I was never a maternal person and was never interested in other people's babies. I know that will all change very shortly when they are in my arms so it doesn't worry me.
I still can't believe after all those failures TWO stuck.
I would have kept going if that cycle failed. After all that money and effort I couldn't just throw it all away. BUT i had other ways of getting money - my brother would have loaned it or DP could have redrawn it - I was out of my own money by then. I'm still not sure why I was so determined - as I said I'm not that maternal - but I guess my life had a massive upheaval with the marriage breakdown and I knew I had to make a new life and had decided that it should include a baby as something was missing and I had no direction and no idea how my life should look. If my DP was a different type of person or already had kids I wouldn't have done all this, but he will be a wonderful father and I can't wait to see him in that role. 7-8 weeks to go I reckon.
Grand total including Cape Town is around $100,000, maybe $50,000 out of pocket.
Last edited by JulieMalooley; 19-03-2016 at 08:26.
BlondeinBrisvegas (19-03-2016),Blossom74 (19-03-2016),Charlie74 (19-03-2016),Chiefsgirl (19-03-2016),Countrygirl72 (19-03-2016),Gagingi (20-03-2016),Green lady (19-03-2016),Kookii (23-03-2016),Lolly99 (19-03-2016),MamaKes (19-03-2016),Petal40 (19-03-2016),Precious40 (19-03-2016),Tahli (19-03-2016),winsor (19-03-2016)
thank you xx
Tahli, how'd you go today. looking forward to some good news
DH has agreed for me to approach the bank and see if we can obtain a small personal loan in order to bring an Egg Donor cycle within our reach!
I have been reading along girls but since I had to create a new password so I could download the pics from the Mac Bubhub on the tablet doesn't work (even when I put in the new password). What is it with computers?! eBay have a 4 day list as many items for free so DH has been on the Mac going crazy. (eBay *****!) It's a great way to make some extra cash though.
@Tahli as someone once said POAS is a cruel master. I think a little burning ceremony of the leftovers is in order when you get beta HCG confirmation. Get some revenge I say.
@winsor I am so sorry that you lost your little one. I was happy to read though that your DP mentioned donor eggs. You were meant to be a mum. I know it.
@Blossom we never looked at donor embies here but the US clinic we were considering would have been around $20,000 (Mostly due to poor exchange rate) but that was everything.. flights, meds, accommodation, treatment etc. You get three transfers of either double or single (your choice) good quality embies. Their success rate was 90% over the three attempts and they also offered a money back guarantee (a bit tricky when you read into it as you need to travel to the US for tests).
@Blossom74 from my understanding the world egg bank is done through monash and was around 25k or so for 6 or so frozen eggs i didnt pursue this cause i had heard they didnt have overally great thawing method and i figured for that money i could go overseas for less. @Blossom74 fab news about going to the bank.
@winsor bless little Gracie forever a perfect angel.
@Tahli enjoy your poas journey i hope its your last one 😀
@Blossom thats fantastic news luv. Wow how your dh has changed. I'm so excited for you. Well your going to turn into the research queen now comparing all your options here and os. Good luck
Afm im still having my dreams about triplet girls. My only complaint is waking up and they're not here. It feels so real and we are so happy. I really hope i get the chance to see my dreams come true.
Blossom74) and an immune protocol strongly enough. Considering my Aus donor cycles cost me $30,000 for those 5 embies $20k oop, and CT with a sorely needed holiday included cost around $16000 for two of us (no expenses spared - we did all the touristy stuff) plus $2.5k for the FET which got my BFP, I think it was much more affordable.
I still have a second squinter of a line girls but it's not progressing in strength of colour. It's very feint and comes up within the time frame. 12dpo today.
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