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  1. #681
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bongley View Post
    @BlondeinBrisvegas has he always been a lot of work? Or has it just been recently that his behaviour has been bad? It sounds like you are doing all the right things, you definitely need your own space. How long have you been a couple for?
    His behaviour slowly started to change when he hurt his back 6 years ago. He went through a period of depression from it as he couldn't work for months and began behaving in ways that were totally out of character for him but we worked through that.

    As his back's deteriorated and the pain has gotten worse over the last few years, his behaviour/depression or what have you has deteriorated along with it to the point he projects his anger/frustration from the pain onto me verbally...always snappy with me, or angry about everything..there's no joy in him. There are also other issues related to me feeling unappreciated for being a SAHM, major issues with our sex life because of his back, blah, blah, blah which ended up with us basically growing apart and me closing my heart to him because I just couldn't handle his BS anymore to cut a long story short.

    Together just shy of 9 years. He's on the waiting list for an operation on his back (finally he's seen a surgical resident and scans have been ordered to check exactly where it is an how bad it is now so the head spinal surgeon can decide what operation would be best to do though who knows when it will happen at this point??).

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  3. #682
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bongley View Post
    @BlondeinBrisvegas has he always been a lot of work? Or has it just been recently that his behaviour has been bad? It sounds like you are doing all the right things, you definitely need your own space. How long have you been a couple for?

    He's normally a very easy going person, too easy going and a real homebody content to potter around in the garden or go to the markets, movies etc. He's very much a loner kind of a guy with a more introverted personality than me who is a total extrovert!!!

    Which was another issue...us not having any kind of a social life with other people or doing many things just for us like going away for a weekend (because we never had any $ due to IVF plus no one to look after our pets)..no "date nights" etc and I also felt very unsupported here with DD as he saw it as him working outside of the home and me in it so my responsibility (really old fashioned views that surprised me as I knew he was traditional..so am I but not that frucking traditional once push came to shove!!).

    So many times over the last few years I've bought up how unhappy etc I've felt and why and nothing would ever change to the point I just had enough.

    ETA- He's a workaholic too which is why he got so depressed when he couldn't for 4 months and why he can't work to capacity now either plus the pain he's in all day every day he's on a sh!tload of painkillers...Endone, Targin, Lyrica for the nerve pain (a disc in his spine is bulging and compressing his spinal nerve permanently and when it flares up he gets really severe nerve pain in his knee all the way down to his ankle on his left leg I think?? which is on top of the usual severe back pain from the disc).
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 17-03-2016 at 10:14.

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  5. #683
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    fwiw BiB I think counselling sounds like a good idea and I hope it's beneficial to you both. it sounds like it could really help him. I think you probably need your own space for a bit too. then who knows what happens in the future, but the space will give you some time to clear your thoughts without having to look after him at same time

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  7. #684
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    thanks @Bongley, yes I think it's good to talk about things, and IVF. and so my friends know what's been happening and why I often don't feel like going out etc. plus when I tell them I've found out that a few of them had also done IVF so it's more common but less spoken about in the open. (I knew about my best friend, but was surprised by some of the others)

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  9. #685
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    Gorgeous girls, these are the rules for replying to this post. There's to be no emoticons, no congrats, no party hats or party ******ers, no jumping the gun.
    I've just POAS. I MAY have a little ray of hope. If I stand under the brightest light in the house (kitchen fluro light) and seriously squint and twist the stick at a thousand different angles before hitting a sweet spot...I MAY be able to see 5% of a second grey shadowy indent ghost line...or it MAY be where the wee runs to the test line, jumps the indent then rushes over to the control line. I have no idea. But it is a little ray of hope.
    Needless to say I'll update you as the day progresses.

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  11. #686
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    Quote Originally Posted by winsor View Post
    fwiw BiB I think counselling sounds like a good idea and I hope it's beneficial to you both. it sounds like it could really help him. I think you probably need your own space for a bit too. then who knows what happens in the future, but the space will give you some time to clear your thoughts without having to look after him at same time
    Agree Luv!!

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  13. #687
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tahli View Post
    Gorgeous girls, these are the rules for replying to this post. There's to be no emoticons, no congrats, no party hats or party ******ers, no jumping the gun.
    I've just POAS. I MAY have a little ray of hope. If I stand under the brightest light in the house (kitchen fluro light) and seriously squint and twist the stick at a thousand different angles before hitting a sweet spot...I MAY be able to see 5% of a second grey shadowy indent ghost line...or it MAY be where the wee runs to the test line, jumps the indent then rushes over to the control line. I have no idea. But it is a little ray of hope.
    Needless to say I'll update you as the day progresses.

    HOLY FRUCK!!!! (me holding my breath..that's allowed!!!)

    C'Mon Wrex and Wren!!! + prayers!!!!

    Keep your bloody legs closed woman for as long as you can!!!!

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  15. #688
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    looking forward to your next report @Tahli. sounds promising

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  17. #689
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tahli View Post
    Gorgeous girls, these are the rules for replying to this post. There's to be no emoticons, no congrats, no party hats or party ******ers, no jumping the gun.
    I've just POAS. I MAY have a little ray of hope. If I stand under the brightest light in the house (kitchen fluro light) and seriously squint and twist the stick at a thousand different angles before hitting a sweet spot...I MAY be able to see 5% of a second grey shadowy indent ghost line...or it MAY be where the wee runs to the test line, jumps the indent then rushes over to the control line. I have no idea. But it is a little ray of hope.
    Needless to say I'll update you as the day progresses.
    SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

    I'll say no more.
    Last edited by Bongley; 17-03-2016 at 10:51.

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  19. #690
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    Squeeee no peeing allowed tahli until its time for another report!!!

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