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  1. #671
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    Fruck!! Sorry Lovelies...been running around like a headless chook all morning getting DD ready for DC and doing a bit of an earlier drop off so I could come back here and do the last minute things before R.E Agent turns up anywhere between 9-12pm. Hope it's sooner rather than later. Anyhoo.....

    @winsor Am thinking of you, DH and your bellybean. I agree with what all the other Lovelies have said and please, if you do experience terrible pain, go back to the hospital where they can give you some decent relief!! Frankly, being out of it on pain meds might not be such a bad idea!! Could understand if you wanted to bexo


    @Tahli Bah!!! Still too bloody early Luv!! Is that with the time difference added too??

    I'm putting my money on either a "Fri Night Special" or a "Sat Morn Sunrise Surprise"for you (you are testing morn/evening aren't you???)


    and prayers being sent!!!!xo

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  3. #672
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    @winsor good on you for talking about it on FB I think it will become less of a taboo subject as time goes on. I spoke about my IVF 'journey' briefly on FB a few years back and I will again this time in a few weeks. I like to inform people that trying to conceive is a real battle for some of us. I'm not sure I will say we have used a donor, as I don't want it to be all about that but I might hint at it heavily. I wouldn't want younger relatives thinking IVF is the magic bullet for a 43 yr old to get up the duff..........or god forbid, that it happened naturally.
    Last edited by Bongley; 17-03-2016 at 09:34.

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  5. #673
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    @JulieMalooley My transfer was at 10.30pm Friday night (Australian time) so I'm pretty sure that makes me 5dp5dt today...but at 10.30pm tonight I clock over to 6dp5dt. Please tell me I'm right. I'm so flipping sleep deprived. 3 hours sleep two nights ago due to jetlag then up all night with my ill DS (fever almost 40c) where I grabbed 15 min snatches of sleep throughout the night. I'm not complaining, every-one's going through such a tough time on here at the moment.
    1.5 days ago the left ovary stitch pain started and it's been consistent, and is still present..it could be bowel pain due to the Metformin or it could be implantation pain...who knows. It's a mystery. It coincides with a flip in my Happy Bubble bursting and being teary....hormonal shift.
    I'm looking forward to POAS late this arvo/early evening when my I get my better results.
    If I have proper levels of hcg in my system I live on plain Savoy biscuits and water and I'm no where near that stage.
    Ho hum.

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  7. #674
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    Sooooo....the Ex and I had a good talk Tues night after DD went to sleep. He apologised for his sh!tty behaviour and being mean to me and said he knows it was/is wrong but he doesn't know how else to cope or try to get over me etc because he still loves me. He showed some insight by giving examples of where he went wrong in the relationship and what he should and shouldn't have done etc. So that's a good start that he can at least begin to see where he frucked up.

    He told me of his own accord about the dating sites and said that I was his best friend and now he doesn't have me/one anymore and that he's lonely etc, He told me about the shag sites as well how he keeps copping spam emails trying to get him to sign up as whoever owns/runs the dating site owns/runs (or however it works???) a couple of the shag sites too so as soon as he joined the dating site, he started getting spammed from the shag sites.

    He said he's unsubscribed but still getting them so is going to complain. Said he's looking for a friend/someone to talk to and companionship etc. We both cried, it was very sad. I do still love him I've realised but it's all the other sh!t and his behaviour etc that I can't deal with anymore which is why I still don't want to reconcile. I also want and need to be alone for a while and I think he does too. If it's meant to be then there'll be an opportunity for that in the future but right now it's best for us to still separate. He needs to do a hell of a lot of growing as a person.

    Anyhoo..I checked out his story about the shag sites (as you all knew I would...being the "Master Researcher" that I am!!
    because I can get into his email account and facebook etc ..LOL!! He forgets I know the passwords or he's set the computer to save them to those sites and he is telling the truth. The only one he's subscribed to is the dating app not the shag sites.

    Right!! So this morning I get a text from him asking me to go to Counselling again with him before he moves out for good. A mate of his at work has offered for him to move into his place and share for $150 a week for a room. I've been disinterested in Counselling up until now, but am reconsidering as I believe it might help the both of us (especially him) learn the tools for us to separate more amicably so that we can both be better parents to DD.

    It might also help with the healing process and to learn where we both went wrong so we don't repeat the same mistakes down the path in other relationships. I really can't see us reconciling at this stage, it would take a miracle, but I am willing to go into it with an open mind and heart with no expectations on the proviso he does move out as I very much still want my own space and autonomy away from him and I think it will be good for him too plus if we do go to Counselling and things get heated etc, it's important for me to have my own space to retreat to where he's not.

    There's no way I'll consider it with him under the same roof!! I've talked about it with my sisters and my older one feels like I owe it to myself and him to go even if all it achieves is tying up loose emotional ends for us both but she's hoping it will be an opportunity for him more than I to gain more insight into his behaviours and for him to learn that he's actually not a bad person as such, just bad behaviours etc plus she feels it will help us to be better parents to DD if we can separate with a greater understanding of things while also starting the healing process etc.

    He wants to talk about it this afternoon when he gets here (he's still house sitting). Am opening the floor to all of you Lovelies who feel like giving advice/opinions
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 17-03-2016 at 09:39.

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  9. #675
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    Yep, @BlondeinBrisvegas I'm testing more times a day than a sane woman would!!!

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  11. #676
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    Yes @Tahli that sounds about right 11dpo tonight. Good luck with the P-sticks. @BlondeinBrisvegas - its still so fresh in my mind how hard it was trying to separate with my ex DH stuck under the same roof as me for a while. Even though he left me, I went out (in misery and desperation) and met my current DP within about 4 weeks I reckon. I knew at the time it was just me desperate for some consolation and company and it helped to distract me a bit, but I was in a frucked up headspace and I 'knew' at the time that I wasn't going to stay with DP because I still loved my ex (turns out he grew on me). My ex and I still love each other, but its different now. We are really good friends and that's lucky because we still have to work together - but not in the same office anymore thankfully.
    You need him out of the house. Its so emotionally draining being in that situation day in and day out when you are both so raw and sad. Yes, counselling would help to clear up a. your feelings and b. how to move on and stay friends and civil if that's the way it's going to be.
    I guess I would ask you - when you say you love him still - do you 'love him', or are you 'in love' with him. There's a big difference. Over time my 'in love' with my ex has died off to just 'loving' him because it had to, or I would have gone insane with grief. I still can't believe I never saw it coming and I still don't think we tried hard enough to fix it - but he said at the time his love had died and he knew that wasn't going to change and I'm a strong believer in 'when the love is gone - its gone'. Mind you, we never had kids together so it was just too easy to separate. If DP hadn't come along so soon, we may have struggled on for 6 or 12 months but ultimately he was so unhappy it was not going to work. So, in short:
    a. try counselling just to help you both move on one way or the other
    b. do it with him living elsewhere as soon as you can organise it. Once he's out of the house your feelings towards him will become clearer.
    Just my opinions...

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  13. #677
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tahli View Post
    Yep, @BlondeinBrisvegas I'm testing more times a day than a sane woman would!!!
    Who can blame you - god knows you've worked hard enough and travelled far enough for a goddamn BFP !!

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  15. #678
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    Quote Originally Posted by JulieMalooley View Post
    Yes @Tahli that sounds about right 11dpo tonight. Good luck with the P-sticks. @BlondeinBrisvegas - its still so fresh in my mind how hard it was trying to separate with my ex DH stuck under the same roof as me for a while. Even though he left me, I went out (in misery and desperation) and met my current DP within about 4 weeks I reckon. I knew at the time it was just me desperate for some consolation and company and it helped to distract me a bit, but I was in a frucked up headspace and I 'knew' at the time that I wasn't going to stay with DP because I still loved my ex (turns out he grew on me). My ex and I still love each other, but its different now. We are really good friends and that's lucky because we still have to work together - but not in the same office anymore thankfully.
    You need him out of the house. Its so emotionally draining being in that situation day in and day out when you are both so raw and sad. Yes, counselling would help to clear up a. your feelings and b. how to move on and stay friends and civil if that's the way it's going to be.
    I guess I would ask you - when you say you love him still - do you 'love him', or are you 'in love' with him. There's a big difference. Over time my 'in love' with my ex has died off to just 'loving' him because it had to, or I would have gone insane with grief. I still can't believe I never saw it coming and I still don't think we tried hard enough to fix it - but he said at the time his love had died and he knew that wasn't going to change and I'm a strong believer in 'when the love is gone - its gone'. Mind you, we never had kids together so it was just too easy to separate. If DP hadn't come along so soon, we may have struggled on for 6 or 12 months but ultimately he was so unhappy it was not going to work. So, in short:
    a. try counselling just to help you both move on one way or the other
    b. do it with him living elsewhere as soon as you can organise it. Once he's out of the house your feelings towards him will become clearer.
    Just my opinions...

    And a very welcome opinion at that thank-you Luv!!

    I totally agree with what you've said and what you've advised for exactly those reasons you've stated

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  17. #679
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    @BlondeinBrisvegas has he always been a lot of work? Or has it just been recently that his behaviour has been bad? It sounds like you are doing all the right things, you definitely need your own space. How long have you been a couple for?

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  19. #680
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    @Tahli, it is currently 2am in CT on Thursday morning so that makes them 9hrs behind VIC time. If you transferred at 1.30pm on Fri that's 11.30pm on Fri night (5dpo) so tonight at 11.30 you will be 11dpo by my calcs?
    Last edited by JulieMalooley; 17-03-2016 at 10:06.

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