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  1. #1291
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    Quote Originally Posted by Green lady View Post
    @Gagingi - congrats on the PGD result! Can't believe you only had to wait a week when I have to wait 3.

    Everyone on here that's doing PGD has at least one normal embryo except me. I feel quite useless, old, washed up, infertile and abnormal. I can't see that this next cycle is going to be different and I know my FS has little hope either.
    @Green lady I did think of you when I posted, but I hoped it would give you hope. We got our PGD normals on stim cycles 5 and 7, and after quite a bit of time on Wazza's magical pharmacy and kitchen sink. FS#1 minimized or missed DH's MFI and from what I hear many FSs blame the woman. Both cycle 5 and 7 were also the second of my back-to-back cycles, hell on the ovaries, but I seem to get better results in the second cycles. I did some research on this prior to doing my first back-to-back and there are studies that support the idea that cycle 1 gets the body ready and cycle 2 produces better eggs and that's why I did it in the first place. We are on a very tight budget and I wouldn't have gone ahead rushing through a cycle before Christmas if I hadn't found the back-to-back articles. Wazza does them a lot, as long as the ovaries are sufficiently recovered - in my case I doubt he'd let me do three in a row, but that is due to extra endo bleeding and PCOS. I've also found out one ovary has endo in it, so we get 2/3-3/4 of my eggs from one ovary and endo in an ovary usually lessens the quality of eggs in that ovary - so I'm really down to one ovary (thank god for PCOS). We still need embies to implant and whilst Wazza has said my uterus looks good, he is still very cautious with PGD normals. I've never had a pregnancy.

    To be honest I'm worried about your next cycle due to your FS's lack of enthusiasm. Wazza wants us to do DE, but when I explained our position and why we were not ready he has gone guns blazing at OE. That's what I want your FS to do! Wazza totally changed by meds this time. From my my undestanding you have have the resources, so I'd really encourage you to think about Wazza's wait list. You're younger than me, have had a child, and don't have PCOS, endo/Aden and MFI, plus you get great numbers.

    I'm rooting for you and would love us both to win at this game (along with everybody else on here)! G xo

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  3. #1292
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    @Gagingi - thanks for your supportive words. I guess I am in a state of hopelessness and do wonder if my FS I just written me off as I've had three dud cycles. I can afford more cycles but don't want to just throw money down the drain. I know my FS will not do a fifth cycle with me as he said I was twisting his arm on number four . I can see his rationale - I have had over 50 eggs collected and yet can't even get one normal to transfer. I do think about going on Charlottes waiting list ( I'd be 44 by the time I saw Wazza) but I just don't know as the whole thing is just shrouded in pessimism. I have to draw a line and so far I've drawn it at 43 - no more stim cycles after 43 ( means I've only got til June) otherwise i could just keep going trying to get that one normal egg to transfer, spend thousands and never get it.

    Anyway, pity party over. You no doubt are cautiously excited. I would be. You have a really good chance for success thanks to Wazza ( and deserve it after such an arduous path so far).

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  5. #1293
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    @greenlady i hear your sadness. Not sure who your fs is but perhaps wazza is something of a second opinion. I know my original appointment was august and i got February with him so it might be something to consider?

    @Gagingi great news im hopefully doing a stim cycle late April. This thread will be busy in April thats for sure. My only pregnancy in 7 cycles was from a back to back so your information definitely worked in my case however i did mc but that was pre wazza. So fingers crossed for this round.
    @winsor not too soon. I think this journey makes us more resilient than most so we are able to function while still grieving. Thats a good thing. Gracie is marked on your heart and soul hon like a tattoo/permanent , she came from you so she will always have a piece of you and dh and you will always have her. Xx

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  7. #1294
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    Quote Originally Posted by Caesardust View Post
    Great news @gagini. Will you be doing a det?
    @Blossom74 who would've thought you'd have more money than you need. Bonus!!!!

    I've eaten a ridiculous amount of chocolate and a pie with chips for dinner. I'm a fat cow. Moooooo!

    Ex dairy farmer here.


    I like cows!

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  9. #1295
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    Quote Originally Posted by winsor View Post
    DP and I talked more about DE. he's agreed to it, so I'll start doing some research. he wants the cheapest option. so I'm wondering between EDA/local and CT/SA. I'm not sure if it's too early to be thinking about this given it's only been a week since m/c. but on the other hand I feel like we need to get started sooner rather than later (given my age). I might talk it over with the counselor in a week or two when I see her. I've started looking at EDA site - I'm not sure about going to meetups though. but then I'm not sure if I'm being selfish, and the child will want to know where she/he came from later on so maybe going to a few meets is the least we can do. still a few things to think about

    This is the thing about using DE hon - it buys you time. You can forget about the 'days slipping by' part and take your time a bit. I told DH that if it takes us two years to find a donor, that's just fine. It's not so much the age of the oven, but the age of the eggs that count. So you can take a deep breath and allow yourself some time to heal, ok?

    I do agree with you that it's important to have a plan. At no point have I sat back and thought "I'm at the end now" and as I'm not one to cope well with uncertainly a clear path forward was very important to me. That's not to say I need to rush things (and nor do you) but in my mind a way forward = hope, so I get that.

    There is lots to think about with DE. I've done loads of research and am learning new things every day. If you go on EDA I would recommend that you read all the "How To" posts about creating an effective advertisement and how to present yourself well. Also, try to be active on the site - donors are always watching and want to see you lending your support to others, and to see your personality shine through. You have to make that connection.

    There are loads of things to discuss with your hubby before proceeding with DE too. Contact - are you happy to provide photos and reports of milestones to your donor? Will you be open with your child as to how they came to you? Do you believe your child should know their genetic past? Can you afford to cover not just the procedure costs, but also travel, accommodation etc should the donor come from interstate? Are you ok with not having a genetic link to your child? Counselling will cover a lot of this (and counselling sessions are usually mandatory) but if you're lucky they might be provided within the cost of your procedures.

    We won't be going to meet-ups but not because I don't want to. I actually feel it's really important to have a special bond with your donor, and would like to keep my donor informed every step of the way. Egg donation is a journey for both the recipient and the donor - without one the other can't do it. I feel it's important to support each other through this. That's not to say I don't approve of the CT idea - it's just not my personal preference. If I could get to one of the meetings I'd love to go, but logistically we live in the middle of nowhere and it would be hard for us The most important thing to do is be honest about what you're looking for. In asking for an anonymous donor locally you could potentially limit your applicants but that is entirely your decision to make. You have to be comfortable with what you want.

    For now though, you have bigger things on your plate to deal with. Be kind to yourself and DH and do allow yourselves time to grieve the loss of your precious Gracie.
    Last edited by Blossom74; 25-03-2016 at 08:31.

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  11. #1296
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    Quote Originally Posted by Green lady View Post
    Everyone on here that's doing PGD has at least one normal embryo except me. I feel quite useless, old, washed up, infertile and abnormal. I can't see that this next cycle is going to be different and I know my FS has little hope either.

    I've never PGD'd my embies love but after 4 cycles and no baby I think it's fairly safe to say I've not had a normal emby to date either.

    It's like a slap in the face to know you can't do the most basic of womanly things.

    Hugs to you hon. There are ways forward once you've reconciled it all in your mind. The journey is not over

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  13. #1297
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    @Blossom74 - like the new signature!

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  15. #1298
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    Quote Originally Posted by Green lady View Post
    @Blossom74 - like the new signature!


    Thanks! I'm pretty cr@p with techy stuff so getting that up was the equivalent of getting my Commerce degree

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  17. #1299
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    @Blossom74 - I still can't work out how to use emoticons on this thing!

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  19. #1300
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    @greenlady i get where you're coming from but we have never PGD'd either so have always blindly transferred the small number of embies we've had. When you get only 1 or 2 max, the FS don't recommend they touch them so theres a lot of us in the same boat. Our Fs isn't very optimistic about our chances with this last cycle but she's also said "it would be wonderful tho" so they can only guesstimate based on stats and can never really know if its going to work and that goes for Wazza too. I think you get to a point (this is me) where yes you could go and keep getting more opinions but it just gets all too much and you need to move on and draw the line at some point. this is why we have made the decision to do donor eggs. Ive had a second and third opinion and no one can see anything has been missed so Im satisfied that all boxes have been ticked. Will you guys consider going DE if things don't pan out in your favour?

    @winsor you don't have to go to meet ups, Im sure there are people on the site who haven't and have found donors. I think the main question regarding staying local or going O/S is whether you want a traceable donor or not, so the child can find out stuff about their genetic history, and then you work out where you stand on how much contact vs no contact with the donor you want. Its very personal and I would just think it through before posting up an ad as I think its best to be upfront about your expectations. I do think being active on the site is important as the donors do seem to be lurking and obviously get to know people from their posts. I found it pretty strange at first but have connected with a few girls who joined around the same time and just waffle basically about whats been happening and have a bit of fun on other peoples threads. As @Blossom74 said, read up on all the resources in there and get a feel for how it works, but ultimately its up to you and your partner on how much you want to share and there is no right or wrong way. Also there are donors who want to do anonymous donations (not completely obviously but to not meet the recipients) so there are a mix of people on there. HTH x Oh and you can still go through RPA there is just a quarantine period of 3 months to rule out HIV etc.


    ...chocolate bunny for brekky..

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