Maxwellsmum you are spot on and what you've written is quite right, our life has revolved around this custody thing for a while now and I said to DH that it is my turn now and he has to put as much time, effort and money into creating our family as he has into this court thing with DSS. We are going to have a good talk over Easter and make our plan, so that feels better and at least then I'll know where we are heading with OE and DE plans.
We have what should be our final court date booked for the end of April, and at the interim hearing the judge was pretty clear about what his view was of the case, so that should be the end of it then. I don't think DH wants it to go any further, so whatever happens then should be binding and hopefully she will come to her senses earlier and finalise it before the end of April. Then I said to DH he needs to make a big, grand, gesture to say thank you for all the work and effort and time and emotion I've put in to supporting what he wants - like a few days on Hamilton Island or similar. So he's been put on notice
Nope you haven't overstepped the mark at all, this is perfect and exactly what I needed to hear. I think DH is finally (finally!) realising how unsupportive he's been and how that needs to change, so fingers crossed we'll have a plan after this weekend. He's been much more open, loving, communicative and back to his "old" self the last couple of weeks, so hopefully we've turned the corner together and can start creating our family.
Last edited by Summer; 23-03-2016 at 11:15.
Maxwellsmum you are on fire today! Too funny!
@Tahli I've not really ever gone there in my head as to how I would manage as a single mum... It's not something I ever thought I'd do on my own, (I'm sure no-one ever does) but that is one question that I probably need to sit down and really contemplate what is the most important thing - is it having a child, or creating a family with my DH. If DH wasn't on the scene would I be pursuing this path? Or would I not have children? I suspect I'd not have children as I was at that place prior to meeting DH and had made peace with it. Once I met DH and we were solid, I revisited that possibility which was really hard to do because I'd taken the idea of children completely off the table for my life, so to go there again was hard, and then to fall pregnant naturally four times and lose the babies four times just broke me. So now I'm not quite sure what my answer is. I don't think it will come to that, (well not right now anyway!) but yes it is worth thinking through
I haven't given him the letter yet with all my points, but I have it here ready for the weekend. I wove a few points into the conversation last night and he really got it, so it is promising.
I'm going to start filling out CT paperwork and sending them all our previous test results
Last edited by Summer; 23-03-2016 at 11:16.
Ok guys, I'm going to stop hijacking the thread and bow out now. All is going to be OK. I've had my melt-down. Been lifted up by the awesome BH ladies and have a plan to sort it with DH this weekend and set some dates. I'll let you know how it goes but I think it will be good.
Thank you everyone, you've made my day
@Summer Sorry I'm late to the party as is par for the course for me these days
Anyhoo...You know where I stand on this!!! I haven't changed my position and I wholeheartedly agree with the other Lovelies opinions/thoughts/advice too
It sounds like you're opening up the lines of communication on this with DH with him being receptive to discussing it at length and my only other suggestion is that a definitive plan has to be in place by the time the Easter break/night away is over!! Nothing else is acceptable IMO.
So...if that means getting the spreadsheet together on costings etc to present to him along with a timeline on when you WILL start and who you're going to go with as well as pulling up some donor files on the computer to show him so you can start that ball rolling etc, etc for when you go away, then I say start preparing that file to take away with you!!!
How important is this OE Cycle to do for you Luv?? For you emotionally/mentally I mean?? Perhaps it's worthwhile just cutting to the chase and jumping straight into a DE Cycle so you can start everything all that much sooner??
As for the Ex, we know why she does what she does...c r u n t of a woman it is!!! She's obviously not the sharpest knife in the draw or else she'd know by now that she's fighting a losing battle. But hey, if she wants legal costs that will likely take her the rest of her life to pay off, so be it!!!
Have you tried Restavit to sleep Luv?? Failing that, you know where the Val's are, all you have to do is ask!!!
@Charlie74 - he just said he'd been to a recent conference where based on the evidence studied, there wasn't any advantage in using the HAICSI and then added that I shoild save the $700 or whatever and not do it. The fact that he told me that in the context of my below average fert rate with ICSI and the fact that he knows the costs isn't a factor in my decision, suggested to me that he really doesn't think it improves fert rates. But now I'm thinking, if it doesn't do any harm, why not just do it if there's even a slight possibility of it improving fert rate. I am nervous about not using it and screwing up my last ever cycle by getting an even worse fert rate than I usually do. I'm going to talk to my FS a about it after Easter when I have my first scan in the cycle. From what I can see Genea and Melbourne IVF both have the special microscope to do IMSI.
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