I do take it with liquid in the evening. Wine is my liquid
As the packet says don't have calcium tablets or any acid tablets within two hours and also don't lie down until after 20 minutes of taking - my pharmacist kindly told me this
Trying to take these and all the other vitamins is sure testing me
***venty PMT rant following ***
OK so I'm dumping here because I have no-one else to dump to that will get it... AF is due tomorrow, stark white BFNs this month and I'm over it. I am over getting told by people that I am "mothering" on a bigger scale so I don't need to "mother" my own child. That the hundreds of women I work with healing their stuff should be enough "mothering" to satisfy those instincts. That I'm "mothering the world" so may not need to be a real mother in this lifetime. That I am "so blessed" to be able to mother my DSS and that should satisfy my yearning to be a mother. I wish everyone would just F**k off and validate my need to grow and love and hold my own baby in my arms and NOTHING - NOTHING is going to replace that. I would give up my career and the "mothering" I do in a second if it meant having my own baby. Oh yes, and think of all the things we can do if we don't have a baby - travel!! Of course! Why didn't I think of how f**king fantastic it would be to go to Europe instead of birthing a child - f**k I'm stupid!
And why oh why does DHs ex keep taking out her anger and upset on DSS? Twice now he's come to our place without his proper school uniform, only his sports uniform (we pick him up on sports days) and he's been so mortified that he has to do two school days each time without his proper uniform. We've gone and purchased a full set now, so he has both uniforms at our place, but that was just mean of his mother and so unnecessary.
And we had parent-teacher interviews for the first time and the teacher was absolutely lovely but she did share that DSS cried in class the day of the interview and said he was really sad, and she assumed he was "missing his Mum". Except that he was with his Mum that week so that wasn't it. We know without a doubt that his mother was giving him hell about us going to parent-teacher night as up until now she's had full control of all his schooling and that has been "her domain". DSS only ever gets upset when his Mum has been on a big rant and I wish she would just leave him alone and stop her frucking b!tching in front of DSS and stop upsetting him.
He is SO happy when he's with us, he is absolutely thriving and blossoming so well - he's not upset about the actual circumstances, only Mum's inability to control her emotions.
And it looks like she's going to take this custody thing to trial which is $35K EACH to keep fighting a losing battle. The judge has already made it clear what his findings are going to be and what outcome to expect, so this is just fighting purely to be a cow. Frucking psycho.
I need sleep. I never sleep. If I don't sleep soon I am going to die.
Last edited by Summer; 23-03-2016 at 06:33.
Thank you to everyone who posted up costs of a DE cycle. Yes, it is a lot of money and not a decision I am taking lightly. Our application is going in to the bank today so if it gets approved I believe we would have enough money to do one cycle. I will worry about the cost of transferring in frozen embies at a later date - if needs be that can wait a couple of years until our car is paid off and we have some extra cash available to us. For now, the main thing is to get embies created.
I do not want to simply jump on the first available donor that comes up. Ideally I'd like to be 100% comfortable with someone, and am hoping that an experienced donor might offer to help us through the whole process. I am really petrified that we will find someone, do a cycle, and still get no embies. Or that we might do a cycle and then the donor decides at the last minute that she won't let us have her eggs. What happens then?
Paying off a large debt with nothing to show for it would be heartbreaking. I just hope everything works out in the end as it's our only option. I could do another OE cycle but I feel like it wouldn't work, and we've thrown so much money away on my dud eggs already. I used to hate the idea of counselling but for this process I can see how it would be money well spent - for me anyway.
Last edited by Blossom74; 23-03-2016 at 07:25.
@Summer, I'm really sorry you're having such a rough time of it. I agree that there is nothing else that will satisfy the urge you have to be a Mother, and suggesting that there might be is actually quite insulting. People who say these things are clearly not in the same position as us. They don't know the pain that we do, and cannot understand the gravity of what we feel. Hugs to you hon
With regard to your DSS and DH's ex-wife upsetting him, that is really inappropriate and there are things that you can do to address that once you get to court. Have a talk to your lawyer as there are clauses which need to be put into your binding child access agreement to counteract this sort of behavior.
From memory, we had one which stated that neither party is allowed to denegrate the reputation of the other party or their new partner in front of the child. There is also one which says that a friend or relative of any party cannot denegrate the other party or their new partner in front of the child. If these clauses are in place within the contract (and these are standard things to put in there) and there is a breach of that (ie: She says something about you or your DH which reflects badly upon you in the eyes of DSS) it is classed as a breach of contract which can be addressed in Court.
The one thing I will disagree with in your post (respectfully) is that you are fighting a losing battle. I actually thing you have an extremely good chance at gaining 50/50 access. She can blow and bluster as much as she wants, but at the end of the day you already have a clear indication of where this case is heading. Yes, the money part of it sucks. Couldn't agree more! But I do think you will trump her in the end, as SHE HAS NO CASE! Not only that, she is going to have to cop legal fees too, so it will quickly become apparent to her that she is fighting a losing battle. I have a feeling she might be all bark and no bite in the end
One last thing.....I know you are still yet to talk to DH about doing your final OE cycle and proceeding thereafter (if you need to ) with DE. I hear so much pain in your voice and I can't help but wonder if perhaps the 'waiting to talk to DH about it' is placing you under additional stress. There is so much happening with view to him seeing DSS, gaining access and going through court. It is not lost on me how much it must upset you that there is movement on that matter and yet talks of having a child of your own are not underway. That must be placing a great deal of pressure on you hon. Perhaps this should be addressed sooner rather than later. You and your needs are important in this relationship too!
Sending you big hugs as you navigate this difficult path
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