+ Reply to Thread
Page 6 of 8 FirstFirst ... 45678 LastLast
Results 51 to 60 of 80
  1. #51
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    7,878
    Thanks
    3,397
    Thanked
    5,160
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    We opted out when DS was born. But we had family that live regionally so that made it easier for sure. I have all but given up my career after a very quick rise to leadership at a young age and gone into retail - partly because the commute and the job were killing and partly because it's not f$&King worth it. DH went back to do something he really wanted to do. We've sacrificed bigger incomes for lifestyle and it feels like the right thing for us. You get one life and ill be damned if I'm going to be a modern day slave.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to babyla For This Useful Post:

    A-Squared  (10-03-2016)

  3. #52
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    2,669
    Thanks
    1,004
    Thanked
    2,412
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Janesmum123 View Post
    People are quick to say move to a cheaper city but cheaper cities are cheaper for a reason. It's not easy to move away from friends and kids schools etc.
    I don't want to live like I am forever and I take full responsibility for making bad decisions when I was younger. A divorce, buying a house to late, not going to uni early but that doesn't take away from the fact that it is really hard for me and I feel stuck.
    Someone mentioned opting out and I want to opt out I'm just not sure what I should be opting out too...maybe a cabin in the woods.
    We have had to 'opt out' of a lifestyle, and it was ridiculously hard to do. So much harder than we ever expected. It took us three years to sell our house for a start. Three long years where we were stuck paying for a house we could no longer afford (but was well within our means when we bought it, circumstances changed pretty dramatically) and living in a house that was far too small for the size of a family, and having to ask our parents to help buy us groceries some weeks because we couldn't afford to put food on the table. We were a one income family, because we would lose money to have all our kids in childcare (none of them were school age at this time), we had one cheap, second hand car, never went on holidays, or ate out etc. and were bluddy miserable. It was a stressful h3ll that I don't ever want to go back to...a bit hard to understand if you've never been close to experiencing it, but the whole idea of 'opting out' is just far too simplistic...especially when people are talking about selling newly built homes to move in to another new home. I know there was good intention behind the story, but when you're still paying catch up from a time that nearly broke you, it's a bit of a slap in the face.
    The need for double income families is a social issue because life is really expensive, not because everyone is off driving $60 000 SUV's, and living in McMansions whilst going to Bali every 6 months.

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Full House For This Useful Post:

    Janesmum123  (10-03-2016),MsViking  (11-03-2016)

  5. #53
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,838
    Thanks
    6,199
    Thanked
    16,883
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    I think it's both. On one hand living has becoming so bloody expensive, especially in the city. And that's just a basic rental or mortgage. But I also see a hell of a lot of people complaining they are broke, while living on decent incomes.... and spending ridiculous amounts of money of 'stuff'. A family member is a perfect example. Her and her DH are on quite a large household income for living in the country. They are always 'broke' but constantly redrawing and actually extending their mortgage for expensive cars, overseas holidays and luxury items. They work more hours to pay for more mounting debt then rather than stopping spending for 2 years, working their butts of to pay the debt then reducing their hours and living more in their means - they are borrowing spending more again, and complaining about the hours they work. My eye twitches furiously when she whinges to me how they are so broke and she has disconnection notices on utilities but their car never gets over 2 years old before they are buying another off the showroom

  6. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    A-Squared  (10-03-2016),cheeeeesecake  (10-03-2016),Clementine Grace  (10-03-2016)

  7. #54
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    47
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked
    15
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    So why not opt out? What's changed so much about our society that people have to live this way? Is it rampant materialism meaning we spend too much on houses and spend our life in misery to pay for it?

    Honestly if they are that unhappy I would suggest a life overhaul and downsizing. I realise it's far easier said than done but j felt like I was completely trapped on a treadmill when I went back to work after my second was born and DH and I spent a year working out how to make a change.

    I think some times we get so caught up just living we forget what we're living for.
    The thing is, opting out still requires a decent income. Rent costs money. So does food. Cars. Power bill, insurances, phone

    We probably look like we have 'opted out'. We drive cheap cars. One is 13 years old, the other 30. I suspect our families are embarrassed by our cars and mention how low their car repayments are.

    I went back to work part time once my daughter was almost 2. I had opted for the second year of maternity leave due to illness. I didn't particularly want to go back, but I felt obligated and pressured by extended family. By my calculations we ended up with an extra $200 in our pockets each week. The stress of daycare runs, lack of sleep and pressure to meet sales targets meant that I dreaded work days.
    I am now 26 weeks pregnant with my second. I was back at work a year. My dr advised me to go on maternity leave early due to prenatal anxiety and depression, as I technically failed my quarterly review. Because I had time off due to hyperemesis, I didn't make my sales quota, as if you are off sick they don't reduce your target. If you take annual leave they do. I was faced with a training program and assistance to help me meet my next quarter target. I was having migraines, struggling to eat and keep down food, and dizzy spells. Changing my work hours didn't help as it meant paying more for daycare, and I was still getting such and taking time off.

    The big problem is that the basic standard of living is expensive. Workers are dispensable and you are easily replaceable. Everything costs a lot, and you are looked down on if you don't have it or buy into the flashy lifestyle

  8. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to kzm For This Useful Post:

    AdornedWithCats  (10-03-2016),MsViking  (11-03-2016)

  9. #55
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    The Kimberley WA
    Posts
    4,620
    Thanks
    916
    Thanked
    1,179
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I have always worked apart from having mat leave after all 3 children. I work because I want to, I love the work I do and staying home fulltime isn't me. I also like to contribute financially for our family. My wage over the 22 years dh and I has been a minumum of $50,000 and a max of $90,000, my wage has increased as I have gained experience. Dh's wage has fluctuated between $80,000 and $160,000 including being unable to work for 4 years due to an accident, they were tough times which I hope not to endure again, it was just lucky we had another property we could sell to get us out of the s*** which was due to us buying a house early in our relationship. together has been wage.
    We have had to tighten our spendings somewhat at times but our debts didn't changed during the years dh was earning the big bucks. We have worked hard to buy things with cash or if we have had a loan it's been paid quickly, our only debt is our mortgage which will reduce dramatically when things boom again and we can sell our other property.
    Last edited by Blessedwith3boys; 10-03-2016 at 20:21.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to Blessedwith3boys For This Useful Post:

    littleriv  (10-03-2016)

  11. #56
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    2,377
    Thanks
    1,504
    Thanked
    883
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by AdornedWithCats View Post
    Why can't a part time job be a legitimate career with progression/promotion?

    It doesn't have to be that way!
    From my experience when I was doing part time I was not able to attend a lot of meetings, couldn't take on extra work. I wasn't even in a senior role.
    If someone is in a more leadership and senior role where I think the glass ceiling is more paramount, I just don't see how part time would be fair on the business. Most of those people have others reporting to them, they have so many meetings to attend, decisions to make.
    I am only speaking from my experience in a finance role. It might he different in other occupations.

  12. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Jontu For This Useful Post:

    babyno1onboard  (10-03-2016),littleriv  (10-03-2016)

  13. #57
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    in a wormhole
    Posts
    2,769
    Thanks
    4,600
    Thanked
    2,802
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I had a job offer for a graduate position in a top tier law firm - and then I fell pregnant. That was the death knell for my career in law unfortunately.

    When we had children my DH earned more money than me so I was the SAH parent and we prioritised his career. Now I'm working full time and DH has been very supportive and is working flexibly so that I can try build my career up. Unfortunately - DH's career is going to stall now that he's on flexible hours. There's no win/win.

  14. #58
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Sydney NSW
    Posts
    1,826
    Thanks
    594
    Thanked
    591
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Part time just doesnt cut it in my line of work. Which is fine. I chose to work part time after all my 3 kids. I was grateful for that opportunity. Nine years later, i am back fulltime, lots of my contemporaries have progressed,which is also fine and entirely appropriate. I wasn't working full time by choice so wasnt able to perform certain roles. Now, i am back fulltime and going for it! I feel lucky to have had options.

  15. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to littleriv For This Useful Post:

    babyno1onboard  (10-03-2016),Jontu  (10-03-2016)

  16. #59
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    1,371
    Thanks
    771
    Thanked
    1,769
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I have been a mostly SAHM since my first child was born 5 years ago... with a short stint as a WAHM & working outside the home in between pregnancies. DH works full time, & up until this year, has had a job with long hours, which meant I have been 100% parent duties. He wasn't even 'allowed' to take a carers day to look after the kids when I have been extremely sick, etc, & he was only ever 'allowed' one day off when I was in hospital having surgery (& I was back to looking after them the next day, albeit very sore!) We manage fine on a single income... most of the time! We have never earned above 60k, so we are used to being careful with our money. He works hard being the 100% breadwinner... & I also work hard, having had 3 kids in 4 years. I also engage in a few different community and volunteer activities, which amount to approximately 1-2 days a week of 'work' for my community... all with kids in tow. Yeah, I feel underappreciated, but I love being a SAHM.... except when I hate it, lol. I am content with the choices we have made for our family, & even though I look forward to returning to work when my children reach school age, I am enjoying the time I have with them for now.

  17. The Following User Says Thank You to cheeeeesecake For This Useful Post:

    littleriv  (10-03-2016)

  18. #60
    AdornedWithCats's Avatar
    AdornedWithCats is offline Winner 2013 - Spirit of BubHub Award
    Winner 2014 - Best Username

    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    7,806
    Thanks
    6,755
    Thanked
    3,402
    Reviews
    16
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 12/6/15Funniest Caption400 Posts in a week300 posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Jontu View Post
    From my experience when I was doing part time I was not able to attend a lot of meetings, couldn't take on extra work. I wasn't even in a senior role.
    If someone is in a more leadership and senior role where I think the glass ceiling is more paramount, I just don't see how part time would be fair on the business. Most of those people have others reporting to them, they have so many meetings to attend, decisions to make.
    I am only speaking from my experience in a finance role. It might he different in other occupations.
    I think a change in attitude (society's/workplaces) would make a huge difference as well as changing the way workplaces are run.

    Certainly in my area, on paper, it is completely feasible. Doesn't mean it happens irl though. You shouldn't be treated like a second class employee just because you are part time.

    I was given a tip recently by another part time lady where I work - put your work hours in your email signature. People will take notice and are more likely to schedule meetings etc for a time you are available.

  19. The Following User Says Thank You to AdornedWithCats For This Useful Post:

    FearlessLeader  (10-03-2016)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Spinoff: What type of parents did you have and....
    By A-Squared in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 15-09-2015, 05:42
  2. All hail Netflix ***spinoff***
    By Moxy in forum General Chat
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 12-08-2015, 14:42

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Springfree Trampoline
Give the Ultimate Christmas Gift Springfree Trampoline
The World's Safest Trampoline™ is now also the world's first Smart Trampoline™. Sensors on the mat detect your every move and your jumps control fun, educational and active games on tablet. Secure the Ultimate Christmas Gift today!
sales & new stuffsee all
The Health Hub
Give a new mum a fitness boost for Christmas & New Year. Studio-based, small group training sessions - cardio, strength, core, Pilates & boxing. Choice of 16 hrs per week, flexible-arrival feature - bubs & kids welcome! Gift vouchers available.
featured supporter
Medela Australia
Our goal is to give mothers and babies the best possible support for a great and long lasting breastfeeding experience. Medela have a full range of breastpumps and breastcare products, suited to every need and lifestyle.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!