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  1. #51
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    FIL lives nearby and despite having a very busy retirement which includes volunteer work, he helps us out enormously. Up until recently (when I started mat leave) he would look after DD a day per week so we could reduce the amount of time she was in formal care. Now the two of them are incredibly close. He does help out occasionally with overnight stays (few times per year) but we don't like to ask as he already does so much and isn't getting any younger.

    MIL is unwell so we don't ask her.

    My parents are both a couple of hours drive away, Dad still works long hours and Mum has several mobility issues (plus she does lots with her other grand kids) so we don't like to ask her for much either. But she loves to help out of she can.

    I'm reading with interest some of the comments along the lines of "they never offer to do anything". Ours generally don't offer either but we don't expect them to. If we get stuck we ask outright, we don't wait for an offer of help. It's not their responsibility?

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    Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (09-03-2016)

  3. #52
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    My parents live 5 mins away and no help. Mum is too self absorbed in her own little bubble to bother even asking how they are.. Yet she constantly rings me to winge and moan about herself.. In laws live 20 mins away and don't bother either.

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    Wiccan  (09-03-2016)

  5. #53
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    Mine are interstate. They help out when they can - theyve travelled to watch them for weddings and to help us move, but day to day its just us.

    FIL is also interstate but Im not confident he could handle them

  6. #54
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    Hi my father has passed on, so has hubbies mum.

    We have his Dad (pop) useless as tits on a bull, he loves to drink. LOTS. And since walking out on his grandchild on xmas day for his new lady love of 6 weeks we have cut him from our lives. He wasn't much use anyways!!!

    We have my mum still living that is NOT a part of her life at all in anyway shape or form.


    So we have NO help what-so-ever.

    Wiccan

  7. #55
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    For those that don't ask.... how do you know they will say no?

    I ask both my folks and in laws all the time. How are they to know otherwise that you need them? They probably think you are doing OK or that you will ask.

    I guess in my world - we help out/visit our family very often. We get dragged into family drama and get into arguments. But it goes both ways. We help them. They help us.

  8. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Rose&Aurelia&Hannah For This Useful Post:

    atomicmama  (09-03-2016),Mama Mirabelle  (02-11-2016),MsViking  (09-03-2016)

  9. #56
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    ...
    Last edited by atomicmama; 04-11-2016 at 06:54.

  10. #57
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    Nup. My parents aren't interested in us. Mum hasn't really been interested in me or my life for a good 20 years now. She should never had kids, she's not motherly at all, and as much as I used to love my dad, he's weak and won't stand up to her and I've lost respect for him now I'm an adult. See us maybe twice a year if they come to the kids birthdays. I don't even bother sending photos or anything anymore as I did it for years and never got a response.

    IL's are a little better, but don't provide any assistance. Their social life is more important than helping out when I'm sick or he kids are in hospital. We probably see them 10 times a year. I know they love the kids, I just wish they saw them more often.

    So no, no help from either side. Sometimes it's a struggle (especially when I'm sick), but it is what it is, so I just deal with it.

  11. #58
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    Gosh it must be so hard for some of you who have parents who don’t want to be involved with your kids L

    I have to admit, it’s one of my biggest fears that down the track my kids won’t let me for whatever reason have an active role in helping out and looking after my future grandchildren.

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    Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (09-03-2016)

  13. #59
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    My parents live overseas so no, we don't have their help. My mil is the most help we have and hers generally comes with strings attached or she makes you feel guilty for it! But I've learnt to ignore it and just take the help as we need it!

  14. #60
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    I dread grandparents day at either kindy or school.. Get the same usual response "im not getting up that early you can forget it". How extremely dissapointing.. Mostly my in laws try but they are old so they can only do so much. Last year mum got all huffy when I didn't ask her to come to grandparents day.. Um well you always come up with am excuse, one even as stupid as "no at that time of the morning its our coffee time", what did she expect?!

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    Wiccan  (10-03-2016)


 

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