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  1. #21
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    This....I worked in daycare for many years as well with this age group. When I was there time outs were no longer than the child's age so 2 years no more than 2 minutes. For biting it was usual to get on their level and say something along the lines of "ouch poor Sally, she is sad now" ect and get the biter to help ice Sally's bite. Parents also had to always be told regardless of if their child was the biter or bitee. Of course all centres are different but they all should have policies on hand and all incidents should be recorded regardless.
    Quote Originally Posted by cheeeeesecake View Post
    No, they wouldnt take it out on your DD. They might b'tch about you in the staffroom though (sorry! But better you than dd I guess....) I have worked in childcare, in well run & poorly run centres, & saw this kind of thing all the time. Just staff not knowing how to appropriately deal with behaviour, over worked and underpaid & possibly untrained staff who are stressed with a room full of toddlers & are in over their heads (....at a guess!) I would hope that because it's not a regular room carer, it might be an individual issue with that staff member.

  2. #22
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    I would tell my friend for sure. Although what happens after that I would keep out of as it's not my child.
    I do believe in age appropriate discipline, and over 5 minutes is way too long for a child that age, let alone the distress. Chances are he probably doesn't even remember what he did at that point. So sad!!

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    Good question.

    For this incident I think nothing. I don't think it was the right way to approach the situation, but the child wasn't being physically hurt (in which case I would speak up). I wouldn't appreciate a parent commenting to me in that situation.

    However, now I've read the OP more thoroughly (shouldn't bubhub and mark work :-p) I think I would ask the director to clarify their behaviour management philosophy/point me to a policy. If they seemed keen to know why then I might mention the incident I had seen.

    I'm not really sure. You've got me thinking now. It's just so ingrained in me not to ask about other people's children, I guess I was looking from that perspective, if that makes sense.
    I totally know where you're coming from, it's the stuff as teachers we get about not communicating to parents about others people's children. I think I'm this instance though you're not asking for information about the child but reporting the behaviour of a staff member. I think your strategy about asking director for the policy is spot on.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolns mummy View Post
    The poor child.
    Being a good friends child I would have picked him up myself.
    I've been thinking about this and I reckon I would too. Almost just out of instinct.

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  6. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by BettyV View Post
    Thanks everybody. I called my friend and relayed the incident. She was grateful I told her but obviously upset about what had happened. Interestingly, she hadn't received a call about a biting incident. Her little boy had come home quite upset though. She's going to raise it with the room leader at drop off tomorrow and has asked me to speak to them about what I saw. We're both hoping that this is a case of one poorly trained carer and not a centre approach!
    Yes but if it's not the centre approach, then the director still needs to be informed that one of here staff members is acting very inappropriately. And what if the worker says "oh that's how we always do it", but the director isn't aware that they all need training in behaviour guidance?

    I honestly think the director needs to be spoken to so they can resolve this issue. If not, how many other children are being treated like this?

  7. #26
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    Default How would you handle this? Childcare issue.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolns mummy View Post
    The poor child.
    Being a good friends child I would have picked him up myself.
    I really wanted to! Every instinct in my body was screaming at me to pick him up but I listened to the one niggling doubt that kept saying "he's not your child. Don't interfere." 😢
    I wish I could do it over.

    Eta - the other thing stopping me from following my instincts is that, where he was, the carer had the chair she was on really blocking the only one way to him. I wonder if that was intentional?
    Last edited by BettyV; 09-03-2016 at 06:18.

  8. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mamasupial View Post
    Yes but if it's not the centre approach, then the director still needs to be informed that one of here staff members is acting very inappropriately. And what if the worker says "oh that's how we always do it", but the director isn't aware that they all need training in behaviour guidance?

    I honestly think the director needs to be spoken to so they can resolve this issue. If not, how many other children are being treated like this?
    I should have been clearer. My friend is planning to speak to the room leader but my intention is still to go to the director. For exactly the reasons you're suggesting.

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  10. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by BettyV View Post
    I really wanted to! Every instinct in my body was screaming at me to pick him up but I listened to the one niggling doubt that kept saying "he's not your child. Don't interfere." 😢
    I wish I could do it over.

    Eta - the other thing stopping me from following my instincts is that, where he was, the carer had the chair she was on really blocking the only one way to him. I wonder if that was intentional?
    Honestly OP I think you're amazing for asking and now acting. It's so hard in the moment. I like to think I'd have picked him up but who knows.

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  12. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by BettyV View Post
    I should have been clearer. My friend is planning to speak to the room leader but my intention is still to go to the director. For exactly the reasons you're suggesting.
    Wonderful. I'm so relieved.

  13. #30
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    I'm in a toddler room and have a few that love to try and have a bite in times of frustration.
    The carers actions sounds very over the top. In comparison I must be way too relaxed lol! Toddlers bite - it's what they do because they can't communicate.
    I normally do the whole "Ouch biting hurts - let's see if child is okay" and take the biter with me. No time out etc. they're too young and don't understand. And report to both parents and that's about it.
    We only use "time out" as such if the toddlers have a tantrum and we can't settle them any other way and that's generally putting them on a cushion and then saying "when you're ready you can go and play"
    Sorry I turned this into a big spiel!


 

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