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  1. #21
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    I would tell my friend for sure. Although what happens after that I would keep out of as it's not my child.
    I do believe in age appropriate discipline, and over 5 minutes is way too long for a child that age, let alone the distress. Chances are he probably doesn't even remember what he did at that point. So sad!!

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    Good question.

    For this incident I think nothing. I don't think it was the right way to approach the situation, but the child wasn't being physically hurt (in which case I would speak up). I wouldn't appreciate a parent commenting to me in that situation.

    However, now I've read the OP more thoroughly (shouldn't bubhub and mark work :-p) I think I would ask the director to clarify their behaviour management philosophy/point me to a policy. If they seemed keen to know why then I might mention the incident I had seen.

    I'm not really sure. You've got me thinking now. It's just so ingrained in me not to ask about other people's children, I guess I was looking from that perspective, if that makes sense.
    I totally know where you're coming from, it's the stuff as teachers we get about not communicating to parents about others people's children. I think I'm this instance though you're not asking for information about the child but reporting the behaviour of a staff member. I think your strategy about asking director for the policy is spot on.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolns mummy View Post
    The poor child.
    Being a good friends child I would have picked him up myself.
    I've been thinking about this and I reckon I would too. Almost just out of instinct.

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  5. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by BettyV View Post
    Thanks everybody. I called my friend and relayed the incident. She was grateful I told her but obviously upset about what had happened. Interestingly, she hadn't received a call about a biting incident. Her little boy had come home quite upset though. She's going to raise it with the room leader at drop off tomorrow and has asked me to speak to them about what I saw. We're both hoping that this is a case of one poorly trained carer and not a centre approach!
    Yes but if it's not the centre approach, then the director still needs to be informed that one of here staff members is acting very inappropriately. And what if the worker says "oh that's how we always do it", but the director isn't aware that they all need training in behaviour guidance?

    I honestly think the director needs to be spoken to so they can resolve this issue. If not, how many other children are being treated like this?

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    Default How would you handle this? Childcare issue.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolns mummy View Post
    The poor child.
    Being a good friends child I would have picked him up myself.
    I really wanted to! Every instinct in my body was screaming at me to pick him up but I listened to the one niggling doubt that kept saying "he's not your child. Don't interfere." 😢
    I wish I could do it over.

    Eta - the other thing stopping me from following my instincts is that, where he was, the carer had the chair she was on really blocking the only one way to him. I wonder if that was intentional?
    Last edited by BettyV; 09-03-2016 at 06:18.

  7. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mamasupial View Post
    Yes but if it's not the centre approach, then the director still needs to be informed that one of here staff members is acting very inappropriately. And what if the worker says "oh that's how we always do it", but the director isn't aware that they all need training in behaviour guidance?

    I honestly think the director needs to be spoken to so they can resolve this issue. If not, how many other children are being treated like this?
    I should have been clearer. My friend is planning to speak to the room leader but my intention is still to go to the director. For exactly the reasons you're suggesting.

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  9. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by BettyV View Post
    I really wanted to! Every instinct in my body was screaming at me to pick him up but I listened to the one niggling doubt that kept saying "he's not your child. Don't interfere." 😢
    I wish I could do it over.

    Eta - the other thing stopping me from following my instincts is that, where he was, the carer had the chair she was on really blocking the only one way to him. I wonder if that was intentional?
    Honestly OP I think you're amazing for asking and now acting. It's so hard in the moment. I like to think I'd have picked him up but who knows.

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  11. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by BettyV View Post
    I should have been clearer. My friend is planning to speak to the room leader but my intention is still to go to the director. For exactly the reasons you're suggesting.
    Wonderful. I'm so relieved.

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    I'm in a toddler room and have a few that love to try and have a bite in times of frustration.
    The carers actions sounds very over the top. In comparison I must be way too relaxed lol! Toddlers bite - it's what they do because they can't communicate.
    I normally do the whole "Ouch biting hurts - let's see if child is okay" and take the biter with me. No time out etc. they're too young and don't understand. And report to both parents and that's about it.
    We only use "time out" as such if the toddlers have a tantrum and we can't settle them any other way and that's generally putting them on a cushion and then saying "when you're ready you can go and play"
    Sorry I turned this into a big spiel!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Koarlo View Post
    Definitely not Op. But they will be more careful around you in the future I imagine. I'm fairly confident it was just a case of a poorly trained/ guided child care worker. It's totally fine to leave it up to the room leader. Part of their role is managing the staff in their room, ensuring they are adhering to center policies and procedures, and are interacting with children in a positive, professional and appropriate manner. If it was happening over and over again you would then take it up with the director.
    I would just like to add, children need adults to advocate for their rights. If you see something happening you feel is wrong, don't be scared to ask questions.
    This is one of my concerns about using cc at all as this might be one isolated incident or this may be standard practice how does anyone know what really goes on in these places? My eldest went to an on paper fantastic daycare when she was just 12 months. Great policies, systems 1:3 ratio etc... But despite promising a primary caregiver for consistency one day they just changed her carer and often when I was there I felt the staff were disengaged from the kids. They had webcams too and the carers just seemed to sit around chatting to each other. Ok so no serious issues but this was a new expensive centre but I was glad I could take her out after 2 months. This was in London here they all look seriously understaffed to me and so hard to get kids into them so everyone has to put up with it? Sorry probably not right place for a rant just sad to hear about this incident and fuels my distrust in these centres...


 

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